POPEYE'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT

First a little warm up.

We have to go back for nearly 11 years, we had a run and laager very close to next weeks run. At that time I was a frontrunner, yes I was, I went through some bushes, and unfortunately for me into a big red ants nest, covered with ants I slung my T-shirt about 20 meters away. Back at the laager, I realized that my gold necklace with my Thai Amulets was missing. The next day I –with my family – Little Wot Not and White Pointer, went out looking for the gold, free piss the rest of the day if we could find it. After a few hours out there, White Pointers “golden eye” found it, I was happy and the rest were pissed.

Back to Wednesday the 24th. of July – full moon day. (this week) We, White Pointer, Different and myself, went out recceing for a new run up near Ao Gung, and to be honest, it was not our day. WP succeeded to take us out on many non-existing trails, ending up in water. He up to his nipples, myself up to my pipe, and Different could only be seen with her hand carrying my mobile phone and a straw in her mouth trying to breathe. We then decided to go back to our bikes, parked 1 km. away in a rubber plantation. Within 50 meters we walked on a rubber line which was not a definite trail and had not been used for some time, I was up front, and came to a kind of ditch, OK, no problem, just step carefully and you can jump over. Bang, down I went for nearly 1.5 m into the biggest hornets’ nest we ever have seen. Hornets were everywhere and all that I could see was WP running for his life away from the hornets. He eventually returned when he saw that I was in trouble and came with his walking stick and tried to get me out but to no avail. By this time I was completely black from hornets and WP then had to come practically into the nest and with all the strength of lifting up many beers was eventually able to get me out of the hive. I would then have been called the fastest front runner on the hash of all time on getting back to the bikes.

On arrival at the bikes I realized that I had lost my gold ring and it must have been in or near the hornets’ nest. This would have to wait until another day. On the way Different rang the Bangkok-Phuket hospital to get an ambulance to a site that we could get to as WP and Different realized that I was going into shock. We ended up at the intersection of Bang Pa and the Ao Po at a small store that is frequently used the Intrepid Three and there were many locals around giving advice on how to stop the pain. It was decided that the urine from a virgin female would do the trick but up in WP’s area this would be nigh on impossible as most of the young ones fall on their dummies at a very young age so the saying goes. 3 of the local women were lining up and I thought that a golden shower was about to be performed as the ambulance arrived. Petrol by this time was wiped on as many of the stings that could be seen and the WP did not think it was very nice for me to be bearing my behind to all of the local Muslim women of the area. On first estimation it was thought that I had about 50 stings on all parts of my body and this was changed after seeing the doctor to in excess of 75 but I believe it was more than 90+. WP had about 10 stings mostly to head and face and Different had about the same.

During my time of seeing the doctor Different thought that it would be a good idea to ring for assistance from 2 of her girls from the village that are working at the Little Mermaid. The doctor took my blood pressure and it was at that time 190/100 and the doctor then asked for the nurses to leave the room and again tested and the pressure immediately dropped to 130/70.

I was kept in the hospital overnight with Different by my side as she was in quite a bit of pain from her stings. Very shortly one of the nurses was instructed to rub ointment on the stings and after rubbing under the blanket where she thought there was only one sting when she got to my, what I shall call my walking stick, she found that there was 10 stings and if she had kept rubbing she would have got a lot more that she had bargained for. On seeing what was happening and the arrival of more nurses Different put her foot down, told the nurses to leave and instructed her village compatriots to administer the ointment to the back of me and the front of me with most of the stings went wanting.

The next day WP arrived on his bike and took me back to Ao Po to fetch my bike and thank the village women, have a drink and discuss the time for the retrieval of the gold ring. Friday afternoon was the appointed time and the Intrepid Three arrived at the site of the mishap dressed as Himalaya Sherpas to get close to the nest. It was on this occasion as before I stated that who finds the gold was again on free beer for the day. WP was off like a shot and when within 2 meters of the hole picked up the ring and has not been sober since.

The moral to this story is very serious. If you are going out on a recce for a hash run or at any time PLEASE TAKE SOMEONE WITH YOU.
I was advised by the doctor that if I was by myself in the same situation I could have easily died.
As it happens we can now sit back an laugh about it and I am lucky to have an associate that likes to find gold and also likes a beer.

Cheers
POPEYE