Scribe Report: Run No. 1482

Saturday 19 July, 2014

Hares: King Klong, Woodpecker, Butt Plug, 15 Gets You 20 & the Dirty Dozen

GM opened the huge circle at Mosquito Lake in what seemed an up-beat mood (ie no hang over!)

Returners in: Eleven in all which included our long lost Hitler Youth..Julie Andrews.. heil, JA!

VIRGINS in: Five cowboys from Melbourne, 2 Thais and 6 Frogs. Extra special wetting for the French beauties to please the lads!

VISITORS in: One from Pattaya, 1 from Samui and one from Tokyo.

NEW MEMBERS: Remmie who is now...PISS KICKER...welcome

RUN OFFENSES: Manneken Piss got us started ( for RO one year old) by icing Julie Andrews..just so he can break the record for sitting on the ice...who do we congratulate MP or JA? Lesser Dipshit got Gorgeous in for singing Scottish war songs on the Run (there be no singing in the heather come 18th September!). GM then told Gorgeous to stay in and pointed out the Gorgeous had renamed HIMSELF...Gorgeous You Wanker...so be it, G Y W it is from now on! (New Web Master please NOTE). Barbra Woodhouse called for Julie Andrews and Blue Harlot. Now BH likes to follow any of the girls who wear lycra shorts. But today he followed a tight fitting pair of lycra shorts ...but they were worn by JA! Manneken Piss got Serial Killer in (pushing his luck there MP) MP watched as SK fell over and tumbled for around 5 metres and just lay there for about a minute ...the only thing Serial about this killer is his breakfast!

RUN SHIRTS: Miss Apparu took off her shirt to much appluse and put on her new 50 Run shirt ..well done Miss A! Rotary Wanker got his 50 Run shirt but we shouted for him to keep his shirt on!

Fungus called for Mummyken Pis to come in and gave her a special MP's AGPU shirt with her name on the back as a farewell present, as she's off home this week. Safe journey and don't fly over the Ukraine!

1st STEWARD - Two Stroke Now TS didn't get off to a good start cos the first FOUR who he called for had all fucked off but I will use their names and not their stand ins anyway! SADG in, he was on a plane about to crash (very topical TS!). A female jumped up frantically and shouted..if i'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a real woman..is there anyone man enough on this plane to make me feel like a woman now? SADG stands up, takes his shirt off and says..here iron this! JC, Swollen Colon and Mr Fister went to stay in a ski lodge but they had to share a bed. In the middle of the night JC wakes up and says I had this dream of getting a hand job. SC also wakes up and said ..yes I had the same dream ..Mr F wakes up, in the middle of both of them and says ..that's funny I dreamt I was skiing! Gorgeous You Wanker, in full dress uniform marches into a pharmacy, opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded bandana. inside is a condom. The condom has a number of patches on. He then holds it up and asks..how much to repair this ..6p says the chemist ..how much for a new one ..10p says the chemist ..GYW goes outside and after a wee while he comes back in and says ..The Regiment have voted ..we will have a new one! Asterix was in Japan and was with a hooker and she kept shouting..fujifoo, fujifoo, which he thought was in pleasure ..the next day he was playing golf with his new Japanise business friends and A downed a hole in one! ..wanting to impress he shouted out fujifoo ...no, no, your ok ..you got the right hole! ..good spot TS, well done and thanks!

2nd STEWARD - Scud No Hope and Singha in and he shouted.. just to let you wankers know Kamala is not at the centre of the fucking universe, even if we have to make a 2 hour detour! Manneken Pis and his Mom in. Now Scud wants to know if his Mom had changed her will as last week he had witnessed MP try to kill his Mom on the walk! The Melbourne five in ..and Wobble Snot Stick ..you only come in with these lads WSS ..cos your boring! MP on the ice for being a mouthy Cunt! Not Cleaver in for using Run Offenses to sell the Hash shirts to the French and Aussies (SCRIBE NOTE.. fuck off, it worked, we sold 6400 Baht today!) Fucking Near Water was called but as he was in plaster Scud let him continue sitting on his arse. FNW, the tosser, managed to set his leg plaster alight..fucking idiot! Born Loser in...will you please feed your dog so it dosen't feed ON other dogs in the outer circle! Gay Cowboy in as an Aussie OAP who is paid next to nothing but still goes to Aussie every year to get it! All the Thai ladies in...just so we can have a peek at them...fair play! Mr Fister and Oh Yeah in to thank them for posting their personal porn on Facebook! Lucky Lek in..he keeps getting lost ..only due to his lack of English! ...English, it's a strange language (well it is the way Scud speaks it!). Teacher in Northern Ireland asks his class to go home and come back with a new word and explain how it is used. Next day Liam says....CONTAGEOUS..and my dad used it cos our next door neighbour wanted to paint his garage door but he bought a paint brush to paint it not a roller and my Dad said..it will take the CUNTAGES ! Great spot Scud, Thanks!

The GM got our Visitor from Tokyo, International Rectal Auditor and said that Shit On My Face was now a member of his Hash and sends his best to PHHH. He read out a list of names from PHHH (now most dead, missing or just pissed off) and gave out some gifts from Tokyo Hash. Thank you.

DEPARTERS in: Mommuyken Pis, Mr Fister and Slow Cunt (who is doing his 2 months in the UK again).

HARES in - The Expat Hotel Mob ..MP said I know the circle will vote for a good Run but he wanted to give Butt Plug the shit house pan lid anyway ...Good Run (apart from BP, with the lid around his neck)!

On On, Not Cleaver

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