A great laager site at the FIFA football field and a big thank you to the hares of Barbara Woodhouse and Secret Banana Gobbler for providing this and a very good run, however 100 meters in I slipped and ended up being ripped to pieces on a barb wire fence. (See inside a butchers shop.) Thank you to Who the Fuck is Alice for providing first aid and calling me a silly cunt in French, and to Teacher's Pet who was my nurse for the day.
Circle up and loads of announcements which are now history once this is posted.
Scud came in to berate all the Germans and Austrians as it was the anniversary of the assassination of the Arch Duke Prinz Ferdinand which started the First World War, hope they get knocked out of the world cup, aggressive little bastards.
The Blue Harlot brought in all ex servicemen as it is Armed Services Day in the U.K, with lots of celebrations on how good the Brits are at antagonizing the rest of the world with their military superiority.
Returners - Shit loads. Welcome back.
Virgins - Shit loads again 14 in all mostly French and suitably drenched.
Visiting Hashers - One only from Chang Rai, he had no Hash name but nearly got one amid heaps of abuse as he had no Hash shirt on.
New Members - Spring Chicken and Lara Mills.
Chicken George iced for letting his son wear one of his old T-shirts, to be fair Chicken George could never fit in it now. Lucky Lek quickly followed and brought in 2 farang girls and insulted them in his own innocent way, but ended up saying he would bed them both, the fat one in the winter and the thin one in the summer, the girls decided to empty their drinks over him for being a twat. Minnie Mouse in and brought in Nike who was running with a bottle of beer, and when it ran out she decided to go back to the laager for a refill, what a true hasher. Mr Fista then brought me in for trying to impersonate Steve McQueen in the Great Escape. (Ref. the bit where he tries to jump a barb wire fence at the end of the film. (See a butcher shop and strips of fillet steak.)
J.C brought in Ejackulator for parking about 800 meters away when we had the laager in a 2 acre grass field. Nahhe Man next icing Minnie Mouse who had previously given him 18 down downs. Barf Wader then iced Turd or Toad for his new shoes, which were unrecognizable as shoes because of the amount of mud on them.
1st Steward - Flying Dickhead. Who promptly brought in Oh Yea! as his whipping girl, no idea why he never used her, never mind worth an ogle. Barfwader and Turd punished for stealing his thunder, and then the unsung heroes of the hash brought in for a drink, The Registrars, Impedimentas, and the beer bitches, well deserved. Two very confused virgins who very nearly did the run again after getting lost on Flying Dickheads recommendation. Bollox made an appearance as Hash Music, but didn't sing fuck all. Good spot Flying Dickhead.
G.M decided to thank Mind the Gap for his hat, and Asterix and a French rent boy punished in the usual way for new shoes.
2nd Steward - Cartoon. Hares in and thanked. He then decided to explain the difference between a tea bag and the English football team, apparently the tea bag stays longer in the cup, groan, groan.
Bollox in who last week wanted to come in his wife's ear during a bout of kinky sex, "Piss off" she said "I will go deaf" "Err! I don't think so" Bollox replied, "I've been coming in your mouth for years, and you're still fucking talking." The Bike Hash got a bollicking for having too many run offence when only about 20 go, and once the ride is under way no one sees each other. J.C was his next victim as he was knocking on Cartoon's front door one night looking for his son, why would he be in Cartoon's house? Agh! Gremlin his young 16 year old daughter maybe? A couple of other funnies which made me laugh. and he finished his usual good spot. Thank you Cartoon.
Minnie mouse brought Billy Boy in, and we all drank a down down to the late Diesel his pet Dalmatian. Minnie then explained why Gremlin was on the Hash, keep your dad happy and you can live in a 15,000 bht a month condo in Bangkok, piss him off and it will be a 2,000 bht a month room with the rats for company.
Well, there we go, next the runmaster and the hares and except for Oh Yea! calling Hash Shit, a good run was decided.
See you next week.On On The Blue Harlot