Scribe Report: Run No. 1472

Saturday 10 May, 2014

Hares: Manneken Pis & Google Ass

  • Total Pack: 93
  • PH3: 80
  • Virgins: 10
  • Visitors: 1
  • Visiting Hashers:
  • New Members: 2

A gloomy day across the rest of the island saw a much depleted pack gather in the mini-heatwave that was the laager site. When the GM finally got the Circle together the Hares baffled us with what we could and couldn't do and where we could and couldn't do it. A nice flat run to start with led us nicely round to a pungent 'March or Die' hill and as usual the front runners were then easy to catch. The Scribe bailed out at the final run-walk split, only to find out later that about 50m more would have reached a nice flat parallel- you live and learn. All seemed happy with the run, other than Barbara Woodhouse who went twice as far as everyone else chasing his dopey dog. At one point he was shouting at it 'there's no use wagging your tail at me now you stupid dog' and had got himself in a right old state.

The Circle got off to a start on time and the Hares (Manneken Pis and Google Ass) called in for their much deserved first beer of the Day, Manneken Pis kindly removed the cover from the ice as he likes it to be ready for him. The Rusty Run for Wednesday was announced, details on the website. Normal Admin of Returners Visitors and ten Virgins dealt with - at least with all the Belgians on the run the children are safe back home. New Members Baz and Pa were welcomed to the fold.

Run Offences continue to dominate the Circle with The Blue Harlot called in for sensitive running, the GM for dangling his dog in the pond (Dogfish- get it?) Barf Wader for assuming things and screwing it up, Minnie Mouse and Twice Nightly for demonstrating different styles of staggering up hill and Wilma for offering to buy someone a beer for reasons I don't know due to the yakking around me.

Gorgeous (You Wanker) was caught leading people off paper and Topoff totally screwed up his arrival- lurking at the bottom of the hill he leapt out of his car to pretend to be front running, only to find Swollen Colon palming the hash horn off to him, lying that the GM had told him to do it. FCOTW was for the French as a whole getting a Virgin runner to bring unsuitable old shoes instead of suitable new shoes. GM was then punished for gate crashing JC's BBQ last week, getting his truck stuck and then cutting off the others from the beer as JC took it with him when he went off to recover our fearless leader. Belgians back in again for believing they are Northern French, then Fungus had the Hares in for basically lying about the fowl on the run and digging a 4' deep punji trap that he fell into.

First Steward Barf Vader boinged into the circle and apologized for her flagging English as she was getting too much French at the moment. Hares in for yet another deserved beer also Mr Fister, Minnie Mouse and Flying Dickhead. BW didn't want to be a Steward because no one listens to her. The rest of her spot goes like this.................

The old farts were then conned into Jungle Balls having to take it off put it on for his 200 Run Shirt and it was commented on that there may be scope for the Hash Haberdasher to invest in some Man Bras.

Swollen Colon was then in as the Second Steward- the only problem in having a conversation with someone , telling them you forgot and are just going to wing it is that sometimes the Scribe is within earshot. The great thing about the Rosie jokes was that the Scribe was able to keep up and write down the punchines before the Steward had finished his tales- well done SC. The best of the crop was an auction being held in Clitmas Pussy's Vagina, Oh Yeah proving how tight she was and Gorgeous (You Wanker) losing his grip on the sperm sample jar. Flying Dickhead was mumbling and grumbling about his divorce and how expensive it was but broke into a big smile when he said the expense is worth it. A good twist on some old stories.

Departer Rusty Hook (when are we going to see Returners- Clitbull and Daisy?) was sung out of the circle and then JC attempted to get a run vote for the Hares. It was a done deal anyway but JC finally gave up trying to get the vote as he was drowned out by the Circle every time he opened his mouth- no mean feat. A Good Run was finally agreed and the Beer Bitches got a well deserved beer for their efforts on the day. Circle closed on time and a much depleted happy bus headed back over the hill after another good day.

On-on
No Hope

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