The GM called the Hares in who were wearing their St George's Day dresses to mark the National day of England. He thanked them, gave them a beer and told them to piss off!

RETURNERS in ...seven in all, welcome back.

VIRGINS in ...two Thais, including Manneken Pis's new little wonder. She didn't go home wet ‘cos he bought her a new Hash shirt!

RUN OFFENSES ...Fungus got us kicked off by calling in Mind The Gap. She was wearing real tight pants today. As he was behind her, he noticed she had a little damp patch, which in turn produced a damp patch in his own, now tighter pants! Jungle Balls calls in Price Charles F L Tosser (Manneken Pis as stand-in). He watched as he came upon a mud hole and took a running leap. He made it only to look back to see one of his shoes on the opposite bank. Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke! Lucky Lek gets in Jaws, who had been walking in flip flops...they are for the toilet not walking!

RUN SHIRTS ...McFuehrer got his 50 Run shirt and Give Me A Stroke got her 50 Run shirt (we enjoyed hers best)! Well done both.

1st STEWARD ...Butt Plug. Minnie Mouse in as he explained how her Steward chasing has changed over the years. First it was low tops and a smile, come over to my place for some fun. But BP got bored with that and now it's just a walk on by and a stare. Steward next week! Bobby Sucks in. Now he's been staying at the Expat Hotel for about 14 years and is fed up with having hangovers every day, so now he is only drinking lite beers, but they are the same strength you twat! King Klong in next, he was a bit pissed the other night and said to BP, I’m waiting for the missus, she's over there, no said BP that's a big fat bird. KK, you’re in trouble! JC in, he told BP he had bought Paper a new memory stick. Works a treat, she does not forget to make my dinner, suck my cock and then put the ubbish out! Another good spot BP, thanks.

2nd STEWARD ...Mr Fister. He calls in the Hares along with SIXTEEN other Hashers and lines them up in order. Mr F then goes on to explain his first few Hash experiences: Lesser Dipshit & Dr Fucking Jeckyll gave the rundown of the trail, so he made his way to the front of the pack to get in POLE POSITION. So off we ran to look for PAPER; at the first check he had NO HOPE of finding the right path. It actually turned out that he was a SLOW CUNT. It had rained most of the day and was ALWAYS WET. He ended up with FUNGUS growing on his testicles, a condition known as JUNGLE BALLS. He went to the Patong hospital and they told him to see the nurse, her name was Alice, He said WHO THE FUCK IS ALICE. She gave him some cream to rub on his JUNGLE BALLS, and do it TWICE NIGHTLY, which gave him a HARD ON, OH YEAH was happy. He gave a quick prayer to JC, went home and drank a SINGHA, woke up in the morning with diarrhoea and needed a BUTT PLUG, and what's changed over the last few years, NOTHING! Great spot Mr F, well done and thanks!

HARES in ...The GM thanked them again and good Run was called.

On On, Not Cleaver
See You All next week