Hats off to JC and King Klong for providing a perfect laager spot on a secluded beach near Kamala. No rain and wonderful weather for a run, not that I got any further than the beer truck the whole afternoon so the rest of this report may not make much sense.

What I do remember was that there were a lot of cute puppies everywhere courtesy of JC and Paper, and a constant stream of 13 year old girls on motorbikes to the beach, could I put this situation to my advantage I thought, Agh, of course I could.

So everyone trucked to the top of the hill, so convenient, and off they jolly well went. Meanwhile a sumptuous feast was being prepared by Woodpecker and her staff. At 5.15 after all had returned, and were washed, fed and drinking when someone asked me what time was the circle starting, Oh shit! That would be my cue, totally forgot, but we got under way with the hares, and Paper who as a designated driver can get as pissed as she likes because she has air bags.

Returners were welcomed back, Hot Pants, Double Ender, Heroine, Saggy Balls and Lana. A virgin with the undesirable name of Lubricate the Second Hole, was introduced with the help of Mr. Fista, who we had to stop in mid flow as he was trying to explain how this unfortunate guy got his Hash name, somewhere in the mix was a katoey and a large bottle of vaseline, too much information we all decided.

Bullet Rash was our first steward and did a wonderful job of comparing the tits of certain female hashers, so glad Minnie Mouse decided to turn up at the last minute, as did Little Toe looking not looking like a hasher in her bedroom high heels and tight pants, no wonder you are looking so tired lately Wilma, any way a good topical spot which led us away slightly from the filth and hilarity that was about to come. Thank you Bullet Rash.

J.C In, Road Users – Food for thought. I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying “I am a vet; therefore I drive like an animal.” Suddenly I realised how many gynecologists were on the road. Lots of input from Slippery Bum, SADG, and Gives Good Head who tried her hand at pole dancing that was a sight to behold. Proposition, aka Wild Wolf, Aka Slimey Limey, Aka Hand Job (11 Hash names, What the Fuck!) was truly insulted looking like Liberace on his first hash, but a good sport. (He bought me a beer.) In staggered Figjam looking the worst for wear in last night’s clothes and dark glasses, Yes! It was a good night, but where has all my money gone, and why does my arse hurt more than my dick? Happy Birthday Figgy.

Second stewards were Woodpecker and Butt Plug; JC was the first victim and had all his dirty laundry pulled out concerning his wandering around Chalong late at night. (This guy has got more dirty laundry than Lesser Dipshit used to deal with after the American fleet had left Patong after R & R.) Any way water off a ducks back as they say. Things are now a bit hazy but Butt Plug had Gives Good Head in with some good jokes. Thank you Butt Plug and Woodpecker.

Next was Déjà Vue with Cartoon, you had to be there for that one.

To close, I have to thank Virgin My Arse for some amazing photos, Expat for some excellent nosh, the beer bitches led by Scrubber’s sister, she is in the U.K and of course Once Weekly, Twice Nightly and Teacher’s Pet, (The GMT) who keep me on the straight and narrow, or try to.