An excellent day for a Sunday afternoon run, picnic and drink. Overcast with a cooling breeze welcomed us to the cow pasture off the university road. (That’s for all you Hashers reading this in a freezing U.K) A good turnout with some Kamala Hashers turning up in Julie Andrew’s truck, nice to see Scud back in the fold, sounding like a cross between a Dalek and Stephen Hawkins!!!!!!!

        Three o’clock came and went and the Hares were still not back as they were still putting the finishing touches to the in trail, at last ten minutes later we were off, a great trail laid by Dr Fuckin Jekyll, who had reined in Chicken George away from hills and gave us a very enjoyable romp through the countryside, forty minutes later the first ones were back looking forward to a beer or two and a good nosh.

          A grand buffet provided by Popeye, Different and Whitepointer, Beef Goulash, Danish Meatballs Potatoes, Red Cabbage, Salad, fresh loaves of bread and loads of Thai food to keep all the girls happy, so much food we must have spent nearly an hour just eating and drinking, lovely.

         The circle started once Whitepointer’s smoke screen had cleared, and first to be punished was Bullet Rash who had described earlier Lick pig as a fat runner instead of a fast runner, what was on your mind Bullet Rash? and then Big Bollox who had phoned me while I was driving and making me drive the wrong way, away from the shop where Teacher’s Pet’s food was waiting much to her disappointment. Born Loser was thanked for taking over the Hash Flash, while Virgin My Arse recovers from a heavy night out with some spicy food. Just got to work out how to get them on the website now. Scud was brought in to take the butt of some Irish stories in which he joined in with a smile.

             One virgin, which was Gay Ray who has settled down in Kathu, and has done quite a few Saturday hashes.

          Returners were Big Bollox, Fish Balls, Lick Pig, Pig Lick, Pony Tail, Scud and Hawaiian Ho. (I’ve missed someone out, sorry.)

          An open forum followed with input from Murkury, Bullet Rash, Dandy La Root, S.A.D.G, and others I can’t remember, but well done all very funny with poor old Princess in the circle for nearly every run offence recorded.

          1st steward was Secret Agent Dick Gobbler, who told us some good funnies and then tried to find a Christian so he could tell us his Jesus jokes, however we had all become born again Hindus and in the case of Big Bollox a Welsh tobacconist which for some strange reason S.A.D.G accepted, in the end he had to settle for Ejackulator who has Christian in his surname. (Close enough,)Next was his daughter who was  to be named based on her actions on the Saturday hash, chatting up a guy who was due to be married in two months, that wedding is now definitely off and she has been named Maneater. Careful boys!

         More jokes and stories continued but now getting a lot lower much to the delight of the circle, anal, oral and pedophiliac, and why not indeed?

        2nd Steward. Big Bollox who started to pick on the girls, especially Pig Lick who was having a long running domestic with her hubby Lick Pig, it was funny as Lick Pig was tormenting her like a schoolboy picking at a scab on his sore knee. Dandy La Root and Scud in as the token Royal Marines, generally fucking up getting lost, and having the navigational skills of a Slow Lorus in a very difficult and long maze.  Highlight of the spot was getting a bunch of Thai girls on their knees and pretending they had an imaginary salt cellar in their hands, and if they shook it over their outstretched tongues they could taste the salt, a sight to behold, and then they realised what they looked like. Try it at home folks.

          Anong one of Scrubber’s little helpers was named Dirty Dozen has she has done twelve Pooying hashes. Well done and thank you.

        Oh! A surprise steward…….. Pig Lick, who immediately brought out the Sin Bin for the first time on the Pooying, Oh dear! run Lick Pig run. Too late! Gotcha!  In he went covered in ice cold water for taking the piss, and then it was Big Bollox’s turn who couldn’t get his arse in the bin so was saved from the agonizing torture, but not from the freezing cold drenching he got, Big Bollox suddenly became Micro Balls. Don’t mess with Pig Lick Boys.

         A lovely ending to the day. A big thank you to all those that came, to Scrubber and the beer wagon hotties, Popeye’s restaurant, S.A.D.G & Big Bollox as official stewards,  Once Weekly and Twice nightly for all the administration work, and of course to all those who came for the run and social, we will do it all again next month.