Well a good day all round although a tad warm. An excellent laager at Mosquito Lake, and a run and a walk laid by Minnie Mouse, Once Weekly and Twice Nightly. Thank you Hares. 

          Two firsts for the Pooying Hash, a bus arrived full of eager hashers from Kamala, Wow! Great effort boys and girls and second we hit the 50+ for a Pooying run, that hasn’t happened for years, well done to all that made the effort. Especially to Great Dick who hobbled in on crutches after a crash and burn yesterday and was a laager lout for the day looked after by his nurse Joy of Dick.

         Before the run we had a bit of an emergency issue when we realised the beer truck was absent, however this didn’t really faze King Klong who was seen sidling up to Singha on the back of the bus and purchasing some early roadies to keep him hydrated on the run. (Then the beer truck rolled up.) We all hung about till about 15.10 waiting for J.C, but the general consensus by then was fuck him we’re off. As I said before a good run and walk, but still loads of people managed to fall over, (Pissed probably.) Twice Nightly for one who was a hare and still managed to get lost, when I got home I found out my arse was covered in scratches and grazes as if I had been with Princess’s gorilla. (You had to be there.) 

           Loads of good humour once the circle started and people stuffing their faces with marinated pork steaks, chicken, sausages, satay, salad and loads of other goodies provided by Woodpecker, King Klong and ably put together by Butt Plug and staff, bloody excellent the standard of food is getting so much better, love it. Thank you Expat Hotel. Mustn’t forget Scrubber who made it on time, and as usual provided us with some ice cold beverages throughout, Cheers Scrubber.  You had J.C worried for a bit there.

           As it was St Paddy’s Day we started off with a load of Irish Jokes, very rude and racist, but fekkin funny. Chicken George was punished for letting his dog Jack out of the car and with about 2,000 acres of woodland and scrub around the fucking dog decides to take a dump right in front of the barbeque, however George to the rescue waving one of Suck It and See’s hand towels, he then scooped up a massive steaming dog turd, hurled it into the undergrowth and gave her the towel back, nice one Chicken George.

           1st Steward King Klong who brought in Twice Nightly for being unable to count money properly, and gave King Klong loads of money for change while registering.  Flying Dick head brought in with Oh Yea, who has now christened him fly dick. Minnie Mouse punished for being so pissed on the Iron Pussy and not wanting to get in trouble with her husband went out and got more pissed, after that it didn’t matter, she couldn’t remember anything. Loads more funnies from King Klong, but I now had 2 beers on the go and Manneken Pis had just got me another one and I can’t read these fucking notes. Bum Scraper was called in for taking a doggy bag of Som Tum home from the Iron Pussy not knowing that a few of the girls had been pouring their Sambuca shots into it, fuck knows what her breakfast was like.  Well done to King Klong for a great spot, sorry if I missed something out.

           2nd Steward was Billy Boy and now my notes are starting at the bottom of the page and going up. Butt Plug and staff in and congratulated on the food. Dandy La Root falling out of Billy’s truck pissed. Crocodile tears in who had lost her 1,000 bht for a pair of new shoes…… Good ole Billy Boy found it, Julie Andrews and Nose Driver punished for yakking in German all the way round the run, Houston Basher found at the end of the run leaning on his stick saying “I should have done the bloody walk” Cheers Billy Boy good spot as usual.

         Returners, a few, nice to see Nose Driver and Plink Plink Fuck again, and Suck It and See. (Not you and that fucking shitting dog Chicken George,)

         Reece the South African teacher was named Bottom Feeder, ask Swollen Colon about that one.

          Lots of contributions from Julie Andrews, Jungle Balls, Mind the Gap, Oh Yea, Mr Fista, and Sad Term who I must thank for a wonderful accolade to myself, something I am very proud of when she presented me with 2 beers for being a dirty old pedophile, something I have taken years to perfect. I thank you.

          Just remembered,  Manneken Pis started the run well, but after 10 minutes the elastic on his shorts broke so he spent the rest of the run trying to pull his shorts up and cover his crotch, must be getting a fat bastard. Bloody funny sight though.

          Joke of the day…. Billy Boy had to go in for a circumcision operation last week, and Murkury volunteered to go along as moral support, so they wheeled Billy Boy into the operating theatre and Murkury waited outside. A couple of minutes went by and then the surgeon came out and said to Murkury. “I’m sorry we can’t operate on your friend.” “Why not?” said Murkury. The doctor replied. “Because there is no end to that prick”

         A wonderful day thanks to all who took part especially Once Weekly and Twice Nightly doing the haring and administration, food and beverage providers, not forgetting Hash Flash, Virgin my Arse for an excellent expose of the day’s events, and to all the participants of the run and humour, especially the stewards Billy Boy and King Klong. (I think I might have mixed their spots up, but doesn’t matter both were great.)