Scribe Report:                         Run  No. 1453                    Saturday 28 December 2013

Hares: J.C. & Dr Fucking Jeckyll
Total Pack 133:  PH3 117,  Virgins 4,  Visitors 9, Visiting Hashers 2,  New Members 1.


Our Little Bleeder really was a bleeder today as blood was gushing from a head wound from the Run (one of JC's traps?) Any other mortal would have dashed off to hospital but not our GM, well he had me in stitches anyway! On a lovely day the GM opened the circle in JC's back garden and called in the Hares to thank them and for JC to have his first of many free beers this fine day!

RETURNERS in...Seven Hashers, come home for their Christmas gifts no doubt. Welcome home.

VIRGINS in... Two Aussies and a couple of Stalin's little children. Two Stroke did the honours and drenched them.

VISITORS in... Two lovely Hashers from Japan (who kindly brought ten pieces of kit from us). Well done and welcome to the Phuket Hash.

RUN OFFENSES...Manneken Piss first off and got the GM in and said he could see no blood from his wound as the GM's head must surely be full of only wood (note to GM, I only write up this stuff not state it!) Bullet Rash next and called for Mr Fister and he asked how the hell was he in front of the Hash Horn, when Top Off was only half up the hill and Mr F was already at the top?( BR, how do you short cut up a bloody hill?) Barbie Doll got in Give Me A Stroke and asked how see managed to get her feet wet when she went off paper for a pee? Swollen Colon got the Hares in as he was pissed off they had put 5 falsies in and had followed all of them! Jungle Balls called in the two Virgin Ruskies and Clit Zipper. After the Run the little girlie Ruskie was having a outside shower by JC's pool and her Ruskie hubby held a towel over her as she changed. Off came her top, bra, knickers, the lot but JB and CZ saw no skin what so ever. Bad sport you Ruskies! Houdini got Fungus in to thank him for making him run a further 2k on the run only cos H decided to trust his crap directions! Dr Fucking Jeckyll called for Chicken George as CG had the bloody nerve to moan about the hills when everyone knows CG always has mountaineering in his Runs!

NEW SHOES...they were coming from everywhere (now we know what everyone had for Christmas). It started with one in and a total of six drank beer from their Christmas presents!

1st STEWARD...Barbie Doll sang for us.  'I won’t sing Bob Dylan' and followed up with another one of his little ditties about workers working in homes. Another great spot, entertaining the masses. Thanks BD!

RUN SHIRTS...At long last Goes Down finally got her 25 Run shirt, at least she could of took her top off first but well done anyway!

NEW NAME...Tootsie's brother-in-law likes to go to the lady boy bar, Sunshine Bar...So a well deserved name of....REAR GUNNER!

DEPARTERS in...Only Barbie Doll. We will miss your songs, have a safe trip back home to Northern Ireland.

2nd STEWARD...Not Cleaver. Well Pole Position enjoyed my spot even if JC's neighbours didn't!

HARES in... Tried as he did Gorgeous held on to the shit house lid around his neck. A good Run was called.. well done the Hares.

On On, Not Cleaver
May I wish all Hashers a Merry Christmas and a Happy new 2014.