Scribe Report:                         Run  No. 1451                    Saturday 14 December 2013

Hares: Two Stroke and Nothing
Total Pack 112:  PH3 104,  Virgins 3,  Visitors 2, Visiting Hashers 1,  New Members 2.

Well our beloved Scribe had to disappear back home as he had locked his keys in his car, so I am putting this together after 2 days from memory, if I miss somethings out so be it.
The Hares were called in and warned any more than 5 ATV’s at a time it will be ice and Hash Shit, straight away 11 came through, oh dear!

There were loads of announcements about the forthcoming Pooying run, and the Kamala Koma now on a Wednesday, so if you went on Tuesday then you are daft as a brush. Lesser dipshit will be collecting presents and money next week for the orphanage and he will be dressing up as Santa and taking it all up there on the 23rd, also you will be able to buy yourself off the ice so be prepared.

Returners.. Bloody loads, Loose Boner, Got a Boner, Barbie Doll, Late Arrival in Port, Wankenstein, and something like Lubricating the Wrong Hole.
Young Michael was named Groper for his antics with a female motorbike taxi girl, and Pole Position iced for allegedly locking the keys in the car, Asterix also iced for being a noisy French cunt, seems fair to me.

Run offences. Loads the GM had 2 but I forgot. 

Mind the gap in and iced for letting her relative wear a 100 run T Shirt, and Lau Lau Lauder, Vertical Smile and Mr Fista all got numbered run shirts, well done to all. Mr Fista ended up wearing a bra somewhere along the line, still warm from Lau Lau Lauder’s tits, lovely!

Barbie Doll came in and entertained us with his versions of The Streets of London and Galway Bay, good stuff.

Next the Reverend Fingerlicker gave us a sermon about how the Brits are finding salvation in Soi 8 in Bangkok, pour out your sins to the girls promise them a donation and they drop to their knees to receive it.

I then came in and I can remember some of this as I had it written down. First a lovely love turtle for our illustrious GM , then Born Loser for buying a really expensive shorts to find out whoever made them had put the zip in the wrong way round, makes it very confusing when going for a piss.

Then ...


FIAT

The Tale of Fuck in a Truck. 
As told by Blue Harlot (with help from Jungle Balls)
Fuck in a Truck was not content with only one hash name; she wanted a whole family of them. 'Shag in a Jag' was a popular choice but there was the problem that it wasn't true.  'It is now' she replied.  Then  the circle got the hang of it:  'Throbbin' in a Robin', 'Wank in a Tank' , 'Roll-over in a Rover',  'Bum-her in a Hummer',  'Go Gently in a Bentley'., and Blue Harlot's favourite 'A Backscuttle in the Spaceshuttle'. It was also claimed that 'Fuck in a Truck' is only her 'night-out' hash-name.  She also has a morning after name: 'Sorry in a Lorry'.

Now that she had a whole family of hash names she still was not content.  So Blue Harlot told us the story of her recent visit to Bangkok with Jungle Balls and Clitmas Pussy.  Her hosts decided to show FIAT the delights of Soi Cowboy.  They were innocently [true!] sat in one of the street bars and got chatting to a couple of guys from London.  Within two minutes of meeting her, one of the guys suggested to FIAT that they for 'a quickie in the bogs'.  She was tempted but after some consideration she declined the offer.  Now we all had a new set of circumstances to play with:  'Snog in the Bog' was first out, followed by 'Screw in the Loo', but the piece de resistance was 'Wham Bam in the Hong Nam'.

... and that's how one hash member acquired two whole families of hash names.
Next a story about the Black Watch and being naked in the snow, our resident Jock, Gorgeous came in and got stick for that one.
Finally I informed the circle I have finally succumbed to wearing glasses, they cost me 8,000 bht had them 2 days and Teacher’s Pet sat down and broke them, mind you I should have taken them off first.

Getting dark now, J.C in as Runmaster and despite the vehicular interruptions a good run was called.

On On The Blue Harlot.