Well back to normal weather, so the GM opened a warm, dry circle and called in Top Off to sit on the ice cos he was pissing off the GM, we know not why. Maybe cos he can! He then called the Hares in JC and Billy Boy and thanked them, once again for their effort.

RETURNERS in … Seven Hashers in all included Chicken George, who had just returned from following in the footsteps of Sir Edmund Hillary. Welcome home you intrepid travellers!

VIRGINS in … Five Aussies with two who come from the land of the Rabbit Proof Fence in Starvation Harbour. Hello boys, welcome to Phuket Hash Harriers.

VISITORS in … Three, two from Austria and a Doctor Doolittle from Bangladesh. All a long, long way from home, welcome.

RUN OFFENSES … Lord Louis The Lip called Gorgeous and Dr Doolittle, our visitor from Bangladesh( a real Doc). LLtL complained that G had hogged all the conversation with Dr D. G had told him how fit he was, how good his Blood Pressure was, etc, etc. LLtL had no time at all to ask the Doc about his angina … Twenty years ago they would be talking about wine, women and women! King Klong called in JC. KK asked JC why there was no walk, with JC shouting there was, KK explained he had been driving around for the last 2 weeks with half a tonne of blue paper in his truck and JC couldn’t be arsed to pick it up! Billy Boy called in Kate (who happens to be JC’s daughter). BB tells us JC turned up in Paper’s red car so BB asked how Paper was to get to the Hash, JC said my sister is driving her there … don’t you mean your daughter JC? Well she looks as old as my sister says JC, to roaring disapproval! No Hope calls in Singha and presented him a new stick, as Singha had broken his last one on the Tinmen … this one was about 10 feet long and even made Singha look like a dwarf! Mr Fister called in S A D G, FA Cup and Parasol Pussy. Mr F recalled that SADG had said that if FA Cup had half a brain she would have got him a beer. Parasol Pussy said if she had half a brain she would not be with SADG! Billy Boy gets BC in and asks how you doing BC in bare feet? Got one hole says BC!

1st STEWARD … Philthy Pisshead tries to get the GM on the ice so GM calls for his whipping boy, Billy Boy to do his bit … How does that feel GM … well not too bad as he’s still standing in the circle FP! No Hope and the Hares in next … No Hope how come your not Haring today, you lazy bastard ( 1st week off in four! ) Bullet Rash next … now tell us about the heroines monument BR. 1753, Governor’s wife, fighting the Burmese, etc says BR … what a load of bollocks says FP, it’s just a fucking traffic balls up to me! FP then starts to tell us about Yogi Yamash, who goes around India doing group laughing sessions. So, FP thought it might be good for our circle to do the same and he gets a portion of the circle to say Ha … ha, ha, ha, ha(and so on), then another to say He … he, he, he, he … now the French. Hu … hu, hu, hu, hu … the rest Ho … ho, ho, ho, ho … so we all stand there shouting either ha, ha, he, he, hu, hu, ho, ho … well FP, that’s doing all of us a power of good except for … ME. I’ve got to write this shite!  Good spot PP, unusual, but good! Well done and thanks. (I am certain that PP will go back to the UK and tell all his mates that he actually got us doing this! )

NEW SHOES … Ejackulator in but says they are old so Barbie Doll in for his visitors new shoes, down down BD!

RUN SHIRTS … no run shirts today … BUT …  something a bit special . GM calls in JC and presents him a special 100 HARES shirt as today is JC’s 100th Hare. What a great achievement JC. Thanks go to you for all your work from all of your fellow Hashers. Well done

2nd Steward … Sir Bollox doubles up for a Hash Music and Steward and tells us its Nigger Nosh Week (vegetarian festival to you) and calls in a number of Hashers to help with his song about why JC (the REAL JC) wasn’t a Hasher …

JESUS CAN’T GO HASHING
Melody – Battle Hymn of the Republic

CHORUS:
Free beer for all the hashers;
Free beer for all the hashers;
Free beer for all the hashers;
Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves!

Verses:
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he’s got holes in his feet;
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he’s nailed upon the cross;
Jesus don’t need Paper ’cause he lays the trail in blood;
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause his dad knows all the trails.
Don’t give your beer to Jesus ’cause he’ll turn it into wine;
Jesus won’t come hashing because Judas pissed him off;
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause he’s only got 12 friends.
Jesus can’t go hashing, he’s got shiggy on his head.
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause Jews wont pay 60 Baht;
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause his wood is just too big.
Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause his wife is such a whore.
All the Harrettes love Jesus ’cause he’s hung like this;
Jesus knows we're only joking

What can you say … we could be here till Easter! Well done Sir Bollox.

DEPARTERS in … no one came in as I think that they couldn’t find the circle … it was too dark!

HARES in … JC and Billy Boy. Another no brainer. Good run was called, here’s to your next 100 Hares JC.