| Our Leader called in the Hares which included
himself, Clitmas Pussy and Jungle Balls. GM said, of course it will be
called Good Hash as he was once again a Hare. He said he had the power
and that’s it! RETURNERS in … GM warned. you know who you are so don’t make him call you in , just come in and they did all 10 of them. Welcome home you lost souls. VIRGINS in … Two young, beautiful Paddys. One asked if it was a competition as she knelt down, some twat said know as we all shouted YES, YES … and whilst your down there! Gives Good Head made them wish they had bought a Hash shirt for Impedimenta! VISITORS in … A couple from Perth and a young(ish) lady from Zanzibar. Who wasn’t sure who or what she was/is. Welcome to sunny, well bit wet Phuket. RUN OFFENSES … No Hope calls in the Hares and 15 Gets You 20 along with Flip Flop. NH thanked the Hares for what he thought was a decent run. NH then noted that FF had seen some poo on the run and 15/20 took a picture of it in her role as Hash Flash. It therefore seems that this run will surely be called Hash Poo! Jungle Balls called in GM and told us that prior to the run GM had attempted to park his truck and almost sent it down the cliff. GM stopped just in time but got stuck. JB suggested they wait till others arrived to help … no, no said GM they will only take the piss. So JB tugged GMs truck out with tow rope and saved the day for our Little Bleeder … but JB decided to tells all so we could take the piss anyway! (thank you JB). GM then ICED Jungle Balls just to get his own back, which goes to prove that if you take the piss out of THIS GM … you go home with a wet arse! Lesser Dip Shit called in SADG as LDS was waiting at the lights to turn at the HHH sign when SADG tore past all, on his trusty motor bike and cut everyone up (one rule for cars, one rule for bikes … No rules for SADG! ) Gorgeous called in Dicksapointing as Dick said he didn’t ever short cut but he walked the wrong way on the walk … if that’s not short cutting what is? Houdini called in Chastity Belt for what was obvious to all just a domestic between the two! H then went on for about 15 minutes about how CB got him lost coming here( left, right, no left, no right, U turn, back up there you twat) and therefore made them late. H, don’t include us in your fights as we ALL know women cannot navigate! Barbara Woodhouse called in Swollen Colon and Punt. BW’s dog has a favourite Hash name … Fatty … well BW called after his dog FATTY and both SC and Punt stopped and both said WHAT? STEWARD … Blue Harlot. started with saying I’m only your Steward today cos the other two wankers who said they would do it have not turned up. So if you say you’re going to do a spot. turn up( please). BH called all the Krauts in. BH had just found out that his uncle died in AUSWIZCH concentration camp … He fell off a ladder whilst climbing up HIS guard tower! BH then asked if everyone knew that someone had nicked the sign from that death camp? The BBC reporting it at the time said a German admitted stealing the sign … Ok, he said I nicked it … but it looked great over my oven! Testicle Tom was called in and BH told us TT had just gone for his 6 monthly check up. TT said everything was going ok till the doc stuck his fingers up TT’s arse. why asked BH … surely that’s not normal DENTAL procedure! . Did you realise that a woman’s I’ll be ready in five minutes and a man’s I’ll be home in five minutes are EXACTLY the same ! Parasol Pussy in … she went to the doctor’s yesterday and said, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my pussy … so after an internal examination the doc looks at PP and says , smiling, they are not postage stamps, they are the little stickers from bananas! BH told us he’s a little pissed off with the lack of togetherness at his school, so he went into the library and the librarian asked, how can I help, BH answered. have you got any books on POLITENESS, you cunt?. So BH proves he needs YOUR help with Stewards, so come on one and all, give it a go! Well done BH, thanks. HASH MUSIC … Bollox again bollocked us for not knowing our Hash song … but we showed him we knew the tune. He then called in Fungus and said Yanks are … dumb, dumb, dumb, dummmb as he could not send his hash song to Fungus … and whose fault is that Bollox?. I’m on your side On Sec! Bollox then called in all the Yanks to join Fungus and informed them it was 200 years since Uncle Sam was used to address the Yanks, after a meat packer in New York. So to celebrate this Bollox has penned a song based on Yankee Doodle (which Bollox told us was originally written by an Englishman). Now I have no idea how many verses there were to Bollox’s song but I was aching at the end. Another great song from our very own Hash Music, Well done Bollox! NEW MEMBER … A welsh sounding South African beauty. Welcome as a new Hasher … Now buy a Hash Shirt! RUN SHIRTS … Lau Lau Louder, 25 Runs, Give Me A Stroke, 25 Runs. They both took them off and put their new shirts back on, well done girls. Doodle Bug 50 Runs(keep it on). No Cup was given a 1200 cap(which was forgotten by impedimenta). Who The Fuck Is Alice was given a Black 300 Run Shirt and not only took it off but striped bollock naked … good job he was also given a 300 Run cap! . well done all! HARES in … As the GM predicted good run was called! WORD of the WEAK … Misogynistic … A belief that men are much better than women! AND REMEMBER … The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat! On On
Not Cleaver and Blue Harlot See You All next week |