Murkury kicked off the circle, both as GM and Hare by calling in himself … here, there every f'in where!

HARES in … Our GM then called co- Hare JC to join him to say no way was it going to be a bad run as it was his circle and that he would pack his kit up and piss off home if bad run was called. We will see, our little Bleeder?

RETURNERS in … Two, from know not where … but do we care? Welcome back anyway.

VIRGINS in … An Aussie, An Englander and two Yanks. Gives Good Head made sure they remembered their first visit to our Hash!

VISITORS in … One from Aussie and one from Korea (not sure North or South?) but welcome anyway, even if you’re a commie!

RUN OFFENSES … First up was Jungle Balls who called in the Visitors and the Hares. JB wanted to know why was it that the Hares used pink paper ? (which of course is reserved to the Bike Hash). GM answered cos the Bikes will never get up that fucking hill! Fair enough says JB and sat back down! (I asked the same of our GM before the circle and he told me he had run out of blue paper, but he got away with it due to a great answer! Well done GM). SADG called both Blue Harlot and Great Dick In, Now we all know BH likes it all ways but SADG was behind both BH and GD as he watched BH was up GDs arse, he just didn’t know they BOTH liked it that way! JC called his co- Hare in and told us they had been planning this run for months but they had differing run sites. They decided on this site so agreed to reccie on Monday but at the last moment GM said let’s do it Tuesday in the stead. well we know it pissed down on Tuesday so they not only took twice as long but lost all the views and got stuck in the water falls all over the place! Gorgeous got in all those that helped push Porn Shops truck out of the mud up the hill … seemed like 20 to me but well done lads, Hashers never let you down but like pushing you around! SADG called in Bear Cat Zilla to demonstrate the vertical splits she performed on the run, which she did, and a great show it was, well done SADG! No Hope called in Shit Lips as he caught him cadging a lift from a dune buggie, thought he looked too rested! JC got Houdini in cos H managed to cause a stampede of all the buffalos, followed by a stampede of Hashers!

NEW SHOES … Shit Lips introduced his young lady, who had new shoes so the GM said HE should drink out of them for his lady … that’s the only tongue he’s getting tonight!

1st STEWARD, No Hope … First off he called Sir Prikalot and a new member on the ICE cos they were smoking in the circle. Hares in and he thanked them for the service for the day. All Thai Connection in (or is it Corruption?) NH noted that the Thai Dept of Special Investigation was due in Phuket to put a stop to the outright corruption in Phuket … at a price! NH called for our very own bullshit song for the DSI. (please note it was NH that called for that and not me! ! ). NH then also called for another song from the circle in honour of the Queen’s birthday … H B Y Q ! Clit zipper and Singha were next in cos at the Tin Man last week NH was sure the CZ was over 6 ft and that Singha could walk but now they both looked like wrecks! Hawaiian Ho was called in to represent the dumb Yanks as it was published that American kids swallowed 5 times less magnets than they did a decade earlier. Well they do seem to attract anything! NH then called in Pig Lick, Always Wet, 15 gets you 20 and Clitmas Pussy to represent ladies from around the world. He then asked them to show us their best orgasms (simulated, of course). They then, in turn showed us, to the complete pleasure of the entire circle, including the girls! Their respective husbands weren’t too happy cos they were a bit SHORT ! There was a clear winner … ! The Chuckle Brothers were then called in (Blue Harlot and Not Cleaver! ) NH then told everyone that he had to explain to his young lady, Yarda, what her new Hash name meant … Back-Yarder (named by the Chuckle Brothers! ) could have been worse NH, she could have had the name suggested by Manneken Pis … ! Fungus was called in and NH told us of the award that Fungus had received from the USA Embassy for his long and distinguished work as the Senior Phuket Warden. Well done Fungus for keeping the end up for all the Yanks in Phuket. Really good spot No Hope, well done and thanks.

RUN SHIRTS … 50 run shirt was awarded to U Been Stabbed … well done, here’s to the next 950!

2nd STEWARD, Houdini … H held up a bottle of Gorgeous potion and called for all that drank it from Gorgeous to come into the circle and asked just why they drank it? Barbara Woodhouse said well I got a new baby so it must work, JC said cos he wanted to keep the witches away … don’t work for you then, does it JC! SADG said he drank it to keep him hard, fair enough! Singha said he didn’t get a hard on 3 times a day but the potion helps him remember when he DID ! ! But H took the potion to get it analysed and wanted to share the findings with us … so with the help of William Shakespeare’s Macbeth (or as Jungle Balls said … Sounds a lot like Francis Bacon! ) … he told us:
 
Round about the Cauldron go
In the poisoned entrails throw
Sweltered venom sleeping got
Boil thou first the charmed pot!

 And in goes the following … The sweaty hairs of JC and Murkury! Foreskin of Gorgeous and pubic hair of No Cup! Eye of Newt and toe of Froggy! Generous helping of Nipple Milk from Gives Good Head! Arse wiping of finger nail of Bumscraper! Athlete’s foot from Fungus! And loads of Cum from Ejackulator! Soft shit from Butt Plug! Nice juices from Clitmas Pussy! Left crusted ball from Testicle Tom! Red Hot scabs from Shit Lips! Curry Spew from Queen Of Puke and finally Snot from Blue Harlot! And Gorgeous shouts out … I’m charging double next week! Me thinks there’s very little takers for it anymore … Houdini … you’re a sad man, great spot, hope you enjoy all the free bottles Gorgeous will give you!

HARES in … GM and JC were getting stick as JC is a hare and also Run Master … fix we all called so Flying Dickhead was called upon to mediate … which he did and they got away with good run!

WORD of the WEAK- BARD of AVON. Thought it was Shakespeare but we now know him as HOUDINI.

AND REMEMBER … Our GM is a modest man … who has much to be modest about!

ON ON, See you all on Saturday,

Not Cleaver and Blue Harlot (AKA The Chuckle Brothers).