Scribe Report:                         Run  No. 1432                    Saturday 3 August 2013

Hares: No Hope, Singha, Golden Rain & Queen of Puke

Total Pack 102:  PH3 86,  Virgins 3,  Visitors 4, Visiting Hashers 4,  New Members 5.


Our new GM opened his second circle to vastly reduced watchers as it was about to hiss down. Those who were brave enough to share this great occasion already had on rain macs and had their umbrellas fully opened (many ladies were in their cars and had no intention of getting their hair wet). This is going to be a short circle and as by now my note book was soaked and I couldn’t read my writing as it vanished before my eyes with every new drop, my notes are going to be even shorter!

HARES In…The GM got No Hope, Singha, Golden Rain and Queen of Puke In and thanked them all for a good flat dry run but he said he was not happy it was about to rain….(note to future Hares…sort out the weather first, our GM is going to be a tough taskmaster!).

RETURNERS In…Four Hashers back from their travels and about to get soaked.
VISITORS…If there were any they had pissed off by now!

VIRGINS…I think there were 3 but they were already soaked so Gives Good Head was out of a job today!

RUN OFFENSES…Minnie Mouse got Once Weekly In, he lost his shoe in the stream and managed to come last as he was more interested in getting his shoes back and didn’t put it back on right. Gorgeous got Chastity Belt In cus he caught her short cutting a number of times. CB obviously had one eye on the weather, clever girl! Houdini got Swollen Colon In, cus he too caught him short cutting but wondered why SC always sets off last but is always comes in the first group of runners?! (Silly question H, SC is just a fast short cutter!) GM got Gorgeous In, and said G always shouts SING to others yet GM caught him not singing, so made G sing to himself his own down down song. Lucky Lek got all the South Africans in……but I have no idea why…must of used my invisible ink from the sky!

1st STEWARD…Butt Plug,  To  make our new GM feel confident BP was going to tell a few stories about x GMs. King Klong was the first In, KK went to Singapore for a check up at the hospital. The doc was a beautiful woman. Half way through the doc said…you will have to stop masturbating….why?  said KK, cus I haven’t finished examining you yet! Blue Harlot next In, BH was having a shower with his young nephew. Why is your willy different from mine uncle Harlot? Cus it isn’t hard! BH pulls up along a young boy and rolls down the window and holds out a bag of sweets and says “if you come in the car I will give you a sweet” , the lad says “if you give me the whole bag I will come in your mouth!” Next in, Minnie Mouse, The Iron Pussy were getting ready to go on the run when a masked man ran in on them fully naked, with his willy flopping all over the place…who’s that someone shouted, Clitmas Pussy said it’s not my husband, Pole Position said it’s too big to be my husband, MM said the cheeky bastard, he’s not even a member of the Hash! Her son came home from school when he was a lot younger and asks his dad, Cartoon, dad what’s the difference between a pussy and a bitch….C thought about it and got an old photo of MM on the bed naked. He showed his son the photo and then drew a circle around her pussy and said…that’s a pussy son. The lad said well what’s a bitch then? the rest of it son!( why is BP always on the first spot? Anyway well done, thanks)

NEW MEMBERS In…Two new members.. Garret was named..Bottom Breach….cus he shit his pants on the run and a young lady from Milton Keynes was named….Concrete Cow! Be happy with your new names cus were not changing them now!

2nd STEWARD, Gorgeous…No Hope and Singha In, as Hares they want to be healthy, so, they take Gs health potion. Now G says it only works if you remember to take it….it does not boost your memory. G knows this cus he’s not sure if he has taken payment from them for it…well he thinks he hasn’t but he’s not sure! Manneken Pis in, A Dundee lad went to Belgium as a busker but wasn’t a very good one and soon became homeless and on the streets. One night he fell asleep in a large roadside dumpster. Early next morning the dumpster got emptied into a compactor and was compacted with the rest of the rubbish. When his Scottish family asked the Belgian Government to send his body back they didn’t know what to do…so they sent the family a bag of compost back( by now the six that were left of the circle and the eight in their cars were getting restless to say the least! Rommel and Not Cleaver In for a quiz on football as it was the Football Leagues 125th anniversary. I will cut this short, only to say I won! Thanks for keeping the wet ones together Gorgeous.

DEPARTURES in… Good news and bad news….bad news first, Twice Nightly is going away for 4/5 weeks…..good news is…so is Once Weekly! Have a great holiday in Aussie you two, see when you get back.

HARES In…The Runmaster was talking to himself as I was folding up my chair but I’m almost sure it was a good run!

WORD OF THE WEAK…Precipitation…Sends Hashers rushing home so they don’t have to insult the Hares!

AND REMEMBER…Whenever I think of the past…..it brings back so many memories!

On On, see you next week, Not Cleaver and Blue Harlot.

Not Cleaver and Blue Harlot.