Well AGPUs come and AGPUs go, so too, do GMs.  Mannenken Pis was walking around like a lost soul (then someone pointed out  that he was Belgian and they always look like that!). So bye, bye MP and thanks for all your hard work, as our GM over the last 12 months….which seemed to some that it was like a year! Anyway, welcome to our new bleeder, I mean our leader, MURKURY. Good luck on your year as our new GM, well done.

So our new leader opened his very first circle by saying hello just before his very own song rang out throughout, hes,  our leader, a bald headed little bleeder, hes our leader, hes a turtle head….and hes our very own new GM…..welcome GM

HARES In..The GM said it was good run, bit previous before the vote but hes our bleeder!

RETURNERS In..Nine Hashers plus Ronnie and Reggie, the gangster twins.They all told us where they had been but we didn’t give a toss…anyhow welcome back.

VISITORS In..an  Aussie, an Egyptian and a couple of septic tanks. Nice to see you all and welcome to our Phuket Hash.

VIRGINS In..five and a half(a little tiddler)…Gives Good Head had to be called to do her new job,which she did and water went everywhere, well done G G H.

RUN OFFENCES..the  ex  GM was called In by Jungle Balls and told us that it was a year ago today that M Pis took over from JB as our GM and M Pis got JB on the ice 8 times and JB called upon us to break that record and insure M Pis got on the ice 9 times……we shall see? No Hope got Kamaksi  In cus he had on the back of his shirt…Hashers never run out of piss…..NH pointed out that our ex GM ran out of Pis on HIS  AGPU! The GM got M Pis on the ice,just to get things started he then got Sucker on the ice cus he just smashed his chair up…with his arse! Gorgous got the young lad In, Hugh .Gorg told us that had had 5 runs and that we should name him.As a smelly Gorg says that Hugh in Scotland is Shug…so his Hash name should be..Shug the Bug…..named! JC got M Pis and Minnie Mouse In..MMs dogs, when they got back from the run, the first they did was piss on the ice…..so MP got on the ice(3 and counting). Rotary Wanker got his young lady In cus she had asked him for new shoes, which he bought her but she didn’t wear them to the Hash and gave her a bollocking…..tight twat! The GM got Goose in the Bush In to inform him he was to be his whipping boy,  so try the ice out for him. Clitmas Pussy got Moon Walker In,  cus as she was crossing the river on the run MW was behind CP when MW went arse over tit into the water..MW said, well you have to have a tumble once a week!...(MW, you better have a word with Once Weekly). Manneken Pis called Pole Position and her drunken twat In, he then told the story of PPs effort to get me into the car at the AGPU, which was a failure, the first time…hours later PP got her way and im pleased to say got me home safely, somehow! 15 gets you 20 called M Pis In, cus at the AGPU he was saying he wanted her for his new wife and was going to call Froggy dady! (MP on the ice)

1st STEWARD, Bluey…His notes was on his iPhone…..flash twat! Called Woodpecker,King Klong,Butt Plug and M Pis In and thanked them for organising a good AGPU…Here,here from us all.He then called Blue Harlot, Gives Good Head and Twice Nightly In, He noted their respective dress at the AGPU.BH was looking like a pideo (does he always?) and Gives Good Head was dressed far too sexy….but not sexy enough for Twice Nightly! Danny La Root In cus he tried to go to the Caddy Shack after the AGPU but fell all over the place…pissed up cunt( said Bluey). President and Kew Pee In for being the great taxi drivers for the night.He then got the GM In,  as,after he was crowned our new GM he was calling all us Hashers……His Flock….On the ice!The GM was called In again as Bluey presented him with a new toy for his little puppy( Tiger)…..a cuddly, soft turtle…just like our little Bleeder!Billy Boy and Gorgous In, BB cut his hand whilst making a sandwich and Gorgous is to blame…cus he sold him the salmon BB was to put on his sarnie!...Nice spot Bluey, high scoring!

NEW MEMBERS  In, Four new members and we named Yada……Backyarder!

50 Runs Tee Shirt was awarded to Golden Rain…take it off, put it on…and she did, good girl and well done!

Hash Music…..Bollox came in and told us that King Bunga Bunga sent him a letter and said he couldn’t make it today,  so asked Bollox to stand in for him…which of course he did. He gave us a great rendition of I Like My Women Like I like My Chicken( Bollox gave me his notes but I think his notes were sold, along with a Tee Shirt by Pole Position, who must of broken a first day sales record as impedimenta…well done PP)…Great Hash Music , as always Bollox!

2nd STEWARD, Billy Boy, Got King Klong and JB In…Its their birthday…happy burps lads..H B Y Cs! He then got the GM In and told us The GM just bought a new printer, which was a Windows printer but his got an Apple computer! Never mind, hes got Malaysian software…wheres the box? Had a look and it says..made in Vietnam….clever cunt!BB also told us that the GM was also at the Caddy Shack after the AGPU and was as pissed as a prat.The GM was chatting a lady up who works there and asked if he could walk her home.The girl asked BB why does he want to walk my home when he lives the other way from me?....Think she missing the point…no oats for our GM on his first night!..The GM then tried to go home by himself but just couldn’t get in…he only has four front door keys and coundnt open it…don’t know why he didn’t just go round the back!..pissed up twat! BB then called Blue Harlot and all other teachers at his school In, BB went on to say..I wish you all would just piss off cus you lot cause so much traffic outside your school…Fin cars and kids everywhere ! Chicken George In…Now, for the first time CC is really chuffed as the new Prince of Cambridge is named as..George…..I think its great that Wills and Kate have named the new Prince after our own Chicken George…..well spotted BB! All the French In cus a Blue Cock is on sale in London (M Pis on the ice!) Houdinius,  In…cus he left his shoes at home and only found out when he was getting changed at the run, so he drove all the way home just to get them….well done Houdini…tosser! Goes Down In..as she was reversing  her car we all heard a big bang as she hit Bullet Rashs car and stuffed up his number plate ( oh well, never mind BR is off to Canada for a couple of months and doesn’t need his car!). Well done BB, another good spot,thanks.

DEPARTERS In, Seven In and theve gone!!

Jungle Balls called M Pis In and put him on the ice…….for the 9th time…revenge is sweet and wet!!

HARES IN, M Pis, as our new Run Master failed to get ANY response for Hash Shit and quite rightly so he called a Good Run……Our Little Bleeder closed his first circle….Well done Murkury our new GM.