Scribe Report:                         Run  No. 1419                    Saturday 18 May 2013

Hares: Murkury, J.C., Billy Boy & Bum Scraper

Total Pack 88:  PH3 77,  Virgins 5,  Visitors 5, Visiting Hashers 1,  New Members 2.

Circle called to a start in a funny un-round shape by GM Mannekin Piss, and before the usual hares “in”, SADG was asked to test the ice……cold !

Hares next, with a virgin hare Bum Scraper, and old farts JC, Murkury and Billy Boy

Minnie Mouse, Clitmas Pussy, Sad Turn and Barf Wader called next for big bosoms where then OYeah did a flash to show hers too and so was duly invited to join the circle……..what do these girls have that Angelina Jolie doesn’t…….yup TITS.

Announcements : Jungle Ball : Hash Ball on the 31st of May so better note on your calendar, MP : Bike Hash on Sunday east of Heroines at 15.00, Blind Mullet and LTL : Tinman anni and Louis B’day run on Wed 22nd May, pick up time at 14.00……no 14.30…no 15.00……….phark, just check the website, Swoolen Colon : Chumphon run this Friday / Sat / Sunday, details on the website, King Khlong : Sat 25th May Sat hash at the Bangwad Dam as usual at 16.00

MP then called on Topoff the scribe for today with hoots of nays from the English speaking crowd, so here you have you ungrateful b**stards, in the language you did not want this scribe to write in : غبي ( in Arabic for Louis the Lip ) ; बवक फ ( in Hindi for Blue Harlot ) ; ( in Braille for Testicle Tom )  Englisss it will be :

Returners : A bunch load for the Tinman run, from the Philippines and more. Proposition in next to try warm beers in his new shoes……yummy !

Virgins : 4 of them with the happy drinking on their knees and ice cold water on their backs….

Visiting hasher…just one from the Philippines and a face full of beer from the one eyed pipe

Run Offences :
Gorgeous : Blow Job for diving / scraping the ground, “running” just to beat Gorgeous.
Jungle Balls : Bum Scraper for going off to pee in the woods and had JB surmising she knows the short cut, and so he tried to follow her only to be beaten back with cries of pai pee pee, not short cut !
No Hope : Swoolen C for panting like a dog in heat
SAD Gobbler : Sad Turn and Gives Good Head for going around him and making him think of them as the Christin Massage Girls !
No Hope : To change Gives Good Head name to ….?, but the circle loved GGH so no change for now.
LtL : Blind Mullet and GGH in the circle, says since BM and LtL caught up to GGH, Blind Mullet’s forgotten LTL and goes off in the sunset walk with GGH, leaving LTL to talk to himself and …….…..oh my gosh, listening to himself too !
OYeah : Get Just Gay on the ice. Reason being JG was in Bangla with the Oyeah and Olala and they all go to the ice bar for drinks, says has never been to an ice bar, also thinks he might get lucky with 2 girls and so now has to cool off on ice and no girl…..pity !!
Topoff : Blue Harlot in for being smart and cutting a whole loop of hard running ,but then for being doubly stupid for climbing up a hill away from the lager and straight towards the front runners…..errr !
Swoolen C : Oyeah in the circle…eye candy and always a good idea to get her drunk ……yayyaay
GM : Mind the Gap in the circle, the GM wants to buy her a beer for a good blowjob…….hear hear !!

Steward : Minnie Mouse, and the circle : complete silence, eyes down and faces turned……..scared shitless I say
Says not bitchy as home not late at all, only 0430 in the morning so “don’t piss me off” : Gets Paper and JC for going out on Little Buddha’s b’day and partying till late. Gets Bum Scraper and the hares in, Bum Scraper gets 3 beers as the other hares decided to take her share and stiff her of free beers too…….well done boys !! Billy Boy and Merkury on the ice as MM asked them to be a steward and they refused, excuse being the hares and cannot multitask. But no answer when asked why cannot do two things at one time but can surely do two women…...! Bullet Rash in the circle next, almost 70 yrs old and still acts like a teenager, and runs better than MM who is just “37” where Barbie Doll pointed out to MM “so you say” and promptly ICED ! Bullet Rash then given his 3 portions of beer for being too healthy and too fit and for beating poor MM on the long runs……..and he did it again the next day on Sunday, the fir b*stard !! Next LtL and all the gang who’ve come to his B;day Tinman run including Barbie, Blind M, Bobby Sucks. Got a B’day song and hugs from Oyeah
Blue Harlot in next and on the ice, not because of his foul language, or his apparent liking for young girls, but for being in a stupid school that dared to call MM early in the morning to pick up her 19yr old kid for driving his motorbike to school…..MM pissed off because she only just came at 0500 and had to miss her beauty sleep……stupid school and stupid teachers……..like I said “ don’t piss her off” JC and Paper in for an escaped convict story where JC tells Paper not to worry if the convict has his way with her and Paper says it’s ok JC, the convict loves the back hole and would love to have is way with you !! Tequila Slapper in next for not only reneging about being a steward but also threatening not to come to the
hash if asked again………serious girl. Good spot MM

GM : Calls Blue Harlot in, tells a true story when BH goes to his daughter’s room and slips Bht 500 under the pillow. Told off by his girlfriend that when she was little she would only get Bht 20 and that BH is spoiling the daughter, he then retorted “that was because your bj was probably crap. !!

Sir Bullocks next with his version of Bad Chickens, but before that a challenge to all to say :
One smart fella he felt smart ; Two smart fellas they felt smart : Try saying that fast !!

BAD CHICKENS, Attributed to Richie Cavenagh
First time I heard a naughty word, was when I ws a child.
I heard it from the chickens, me Granny she went wild.
Me grrnny says now Bollox, the chickens they don't curse.
Be gore says I to Granny, twas the chick said it first
CHORUS: FOCK FOCK FOCK FOCK, FOCK FOCK, FOCK OFF
FOCK FOCK FOCK FOCK, FOCK FOCK, FOCK OFF
NOW THIS IS CHICKEN TALK
FOCK FOCK FOCK FOCK, FOCK FOCK, FOCK OFF
This what they say,
When the Chickens they do Lay.
FOCK FOCK FOCK FOCK, FOCK FOCK, FOCK OFF
FOCK FOCK FOCK FOCK, FOCK FOCK, FOCK OFF
Then up the yard me Granny came and let an awful shout.
She says to me now Bollox, shut that f'en chicken's mouth.
I ran the chicken up the yard, across and all around.
And yet the Bleddy chicken wouldn't stop that f'en sound.
Then Granny started cursing, but the chicken said it first.
The more that Granny shouted, the more the chicken cursed.
Granny said I never seen the like in all my life.
I never had a chicken that caused so much strife.
So let's all sing along.
Lets sing the chicken song
FOCK FOCK FOCK FOCK, FOCK FOCK, FOCK OFF
FOCK FOCK FOCK FOCK, FOCK FOCK, FOCK OFF
Quack quack quack quack, went the Duck
But the Chicken still said FOCK
FOCK FOCK FOCK FOCK, FOCK FOCK, FOCK OFF
FOCK FOCK FOCK FOCK, FOCK FOCK, FOCK OFF
FOCK FOCK FOCK FOCK, FOCK FOCK, FOCK OFF
FOCK FOCK FOCK FOCK, FOCK FOCK, FOCK OFF


New Members in next : were 2 of them

Numbered runs : Blue Harlot and Flying Dickhead decided to go for broke and “Take it off put it on” for the whole lot : 300 runs : Once Weakly, 50 runs : Puppy Shit, 100 runs : Virgin My Ass, 25 runs : Gay Ray

King Khlong next in…………..………a quiet moment when KK looked around and said….what who where, and then it clicked : I AM THE NEXT STEWARD :
Hares in first and Merkury for another beer. After a recce Murkury was not sure whether to park his car in the garage or outside, decided in the end to park it in the garage……..and straight into the rear wall. JC a beer for noting : “Merkury, you as bad as Khlong”. ( Fast forward 24 hours, at the bike hash, JC was called to tow out Khlong’s car that mysteriously drove itself into the sleepy khlong by the side of the road with Khlong behind the wheel. Truer words were never spoken !! BH in next with Twice Nightly and Once weekly. This is about the Hash Ball where Once Weekly has commissioned an American Creation dress for Once Weekly with nothing left to the imagination. BH noted the American Creation that he loves is the Bald Eagle ! Swoolen C next in to tell about the Ball Buster Run in Chumphon and delegating to soft c#cks like JC and Murkury, so definitely no Ball Buster……anyways Swoolen doesn’t remember or cares anymore too.  Minnie Mouse the steward chaser in to be asked who are the stewards for this Sat run ? no idea. KK in Soi Cowboy and runs into fellow hashers Pole Position…….getting questions which Pole exactly An observation KK makes : Most beer drinkers piss themselves up, but Bobby Sucks is worse, he doesn’t remember where !! Swoolen Colon confesses that he woke up one morning and apparently he pissed on the laptop as it was all covered with it and he was alone too. SADG on the ice after having said something to offend the Iron Pussies ( Rusties ) and rightly got songkraned with beers. Good spot KK

Oyeah got Olala on the ice as it was her B’day, got the H B UC*nt song with a lot of stress on the “C”.

FCOTW : Froggy as the only Frenchy, the others having f*cked away.

Departers next and a rousing Good run was called.

ONON Topoff