Scribe Report:                         Run  No. 1412                    Saturday 30 March 2013

Hares: Singha & No Hope

Total Pack 113:  PH3 95,  Virgins 7,  Visitors 8, Visiting Hashers 3,  New Members 2.

Well due to a number of fuckups there was no scribe report this week (until now) so it will be short , sweet and missing a fair bit .

Saturday found us at a new laager site, which had baffled the beer truck as it only just beat the bus to the run. How difficult is it to drive up the main highway in Phuket and then make 2 right turns? The Hares briefed that if they stayed on paper the runners would only encounter barbed wire in one place. On their return runners were complaining about too much barbed wire but rapidly shut up when asked if they were on or off paper at the time.

Gorgeous led the walkers astray and came across the blue paper in reverse, seeing a rapid return to the laager but at least he admitted his error, unlike some who followed him and were bleating about the lack of paper. Fast, sprinty ,Triple Arsehole aced the course in just over 43 minutes, with the majority of the pack returning in just under an hour from a flat but hot run.

Hemmed into a small laager The Blue Harlot was heard to mutter ‘Mmmm- I like a tight circle’ and the festivities began with the Hares ( Singha, No Hope Queen of Puke and Golden Rain) called in. The ladies were a bit subdued and settled for water. Virgins, visitors and visiting hashers were dealt with next with the DAY (Dumb Assed Yank) of the Day not knowing what she was. Tinman cover GM and Hare had no real idea of what is happening on the Tinman this week so you’ll have to be there to find out.

Run offences Run Offences commenced with No Hope calling in his co-hares and On The Floor, who had got them pissed the night before in order to sabotage the run. Normally it’s like a couple of budgies chattering away in the back of the truck on the way to lay paper but on Saturday morning it was quiet. Or it was until we got to the laager site where the ladies proceeded to regurgitate last night’s beer, wine, Mai Tais and G&Ts. Bollox then called in Secret Agent Dick Gobbler in for being a twat and breaking the log bridge. Here’s an idea- one at a time is the way ahead. Numerous other offences took place but I was too busy enjoying my hare beers.

1st (and only) Steward was Julie Andrews who published the scribe for his run offence as he planned to use it in his spot. He did say a lot of other stuff as well but the beer was kicking in at this point.

I don’t remember a second Steward- I think it was all a bit impromptu, with Minnie Mouse strutting about a bit and others joining in as well. Departers departed, a vote was held and it was Good Run. Circle closed around 1845 and the Happy Bus made it home without copious urination on the way.

As promised- short and sweet but if you want a detailed report get off your lazy arses and take a turn.

On On

No Hope