So a poll was held the other night as to who
was to be your next scribe. As you know by now I won a resounding
victory by an absolute margin… Against 0 For 1, Abstentions
13! So there you are I’m your new scribe for the rest of this
year. I will, of course be calling on Double Down Down for advice
and comfort before she leaves for the green, green grass of home in
Exmoor with her beloved Rude as Fuck. I have a hard act to follow
as she has been the best scribe the Hash could of hoped for. That
said, I will be introducing a couple of things. Firstly I have
appointed my Spotter…. Julie Andrews (he must be one of the few
who know all the Hashers names…. cus I don’t). So welcome
to my team Julie and thanks for your invaluable assistance. We
will also have a weekly ditty, to hopefully keep you through the week
till the next issue of the news-sheet. Also a word of the
week. A word of interest, a word you may/may not know the true
meaning of. These words will be supplied by Teachers Pet, whilst
Blue Harlot is working! So, enough, lets get started.
Hares In, the GM said this Hash was better than last week, then again ANY hash would be better than last weeks! Thanked them for a beaut of a location but reprimanded Barbara Woodhouse for not getting the laager site ready and being late. Gorgeous had to help with the parking, getting the site ready and was tripping up over the broom stuck up his arse. Oh yeah On the Ice for throwing water over the GM. Woodpecker In. thanked her for a super party last night at the Expat. HBYC, HBYC, HBYC Happy Birthday Woodpecker! Returners In, Wilma. Chicken George, Condyke, Golden Rain, Nuts and Berries. Welcome back boys and girls. N&Bs back In for spilling beer over the GM Virgins Five youngsters In and ALL RUSSIANS. GM asked them to empty their pockets and out dropped 40 leather wallets, 20 gold watches, 30 credit cards and 6000 Aussie$, we all work for Thai companies, promise they shouted...someone never took the travel advice…don’t stand by Russians in a crowd. They were duly wetted and their ill gotten gains confiscated. Run Offenses, My spotter, Julie
Andrews calls Puppy Shit In. PS said its going to be a hot run
today but not if you run fast cus the faster you run the cooler you
are, a real oxymoron…you oxy! Barbara Woodhouse calls the
French In, Their Main Man and French cunt of the year, Assterix,
not here today but BW says ALL the French aspire to be French cunt of
the week. S A Dick Gobbler calls Punt In. He said on the
first slope on the run he did a complete 360 somersault…what a
punt. Barbara Woodhouse calls Flying Dick Head In, FDH
complained about the HHH signs not being right BW said they were and he
had put them out this very morning in a rush, went home to take his
clothes of for a shower(some may believe that) and had a bite to eat,
as he was resting he heard the washing machine going, his lovely wife
had washed his new phone, which we assume was in his clothes!
Jungle Balls calls S A Dick Gobbler In, how SADG can call anyone in for
falling over when SADG went arse over tip himself…Twice Nightly also In
as she fell over also but with far more class than SADG and a far
better arse too…of that we had no doubt! Gorgeous calls Flying
Dick Head as he had earlier complained about the HHH signs Gorg pointed
out there are 3 roads off this mountain but only one was signed HHH
coming up so if you came UP the wrong one that’s your hard
titties! Read the misdirections and you won’t get lost, now drink
up and sit down you twat! ! ! Flying Dick Head calls
all the Belgians In. He said that a Belgian butcher had wooden
splinters in his hand cus he slaughtered a Rocking Horse! No Hope
calls Queen of Puke In, just to remind her that the bus time schedule
differs for different pick up places so for fuck sake check so the bus
doesn’t have to keep waiting for her EVERY week! GM calls Julie
Andrews onto the Ice…just because he hasn’t been on it for….
. ER minutes! Doctor Fucking Jekyll calls Billy Boy In,
last night at Woodpeckers Party BB said Wp was 54 , Which was wrong,
its HIS age. BB you should know better with women, if in doubt
say nought! shes 45! DFJ then called Murkury In, at the Tin
Man Murk called In the best Eye Candy…ONCE NIGHTLY…. just don’t
see it myself! (I hand over the notes to Julie as I was called In
by Minnie Mouse)She also called for my lovely Pole Position. MM
told the world that I had got lost and came to the Hash via Chalong
Circle, when in fact PP was a little sick and I waned to give her a
tour of the island prior to the Hash…That’s my sorry story and im
sticking to it!
1st Steward Woodpecker calls In Barbara Woodhouse, Chicken George, Gorgeous, King Klong. Why do these people do hard runs all the time, she think she knows, if they are hard runs then they will have hard COCKS……. That’s why she got KK In! Puppy Shit &Butt Plug In. PS was the last at her party last night and then went to TAI PAN, took a beauty home with him but he said he woke up with a buffalo! Let any man cast the first stone! ! Gives Good Head, Murkury, Singha In she said that Murk had said that Singhas walking stick was not hard enough so he had asked GGH to give it some good head and make it harder…the mind boggles! She also said that Singhas angels always looks after pappa and not running with the pack but having 1 in front, 1 in the back and 1 on top of Singha, lucky lad! SA Dick Gobbler In, She never sees him these days he always says he’s Tooooooo Bussssssssssy and when he says it he sprays spit all over her face. Then she pulls the face showing how he does it the circle falls about laffing. She asked Butt Plug to take her to Suzy Wongs in Bangla after her party last nite. . He did, she had never been in a go go before…but see ended up on the poles herself BP said it was a sight to behold, dancing and…he didn’t finish saying what else as Wp stopped him…Great steward spot Woodpecker happy 45th! ! GM called Root In for cheating with his new
shoes to get out of drinking from them, GM made sure he didn’t
Jungle Balls orchestrated his well known Hash song for Murkury……………… Chorus: New Members…Five and were looking for
Hash names now
Run Shirts, Iced Quim-25, Dr Fucking Jeckyll-100, Julie Andrews-200, Tinker Bell-25. . well done to all, look forward to your next run shirts 2nd Steward, Billy Boy, Hares In,
Just for another free drink, well done those boys. JC In,
the resident Mexician, JC came in 10 mins after BB but said to Prince
Charles it was a worse run than last week-don’t be a cunt JC!
Minnie Mouse In, he said that Cartoon would not let MM come to the
party last nite so MM micky finned his drink and pissed off to the
party…Cartoon didn’t come to the Hash today…cus he’s still
asleep! Jungle Balls & Murkury In. BB told that he had
the best laff at the Tin Man this week cus these two had set up Swollen
Colon with a made up copy of his book that they said they had bought in
Phuket Town for 80 BHT…SC was really pissed as he said fuck me its not
out yet and the bastards had ripped him off already…nice one
lads! Condyke &Blue Harlot In, Condyke went to UK and put on
4kg BH said the last time he put on 4kg it was a little Thai girl on
his cock! BH said on the run to a little Thai thing working in
the fields…do you want a better job and its far more fun.
emm! Clouseau In, he asked which city has more universities
Birmingham or Bristol BB said he didn’t give a fuck you smelly
Frenchman. EDs Note…Birmingham 4! Fungus In. At the
Tin Man someone said Fungus was nicking beers, fungus got grumpy…but in
fact he did nick someone’s beer…if you want a sub join the navy!
Mind the Gap &Not Clever. NC noticed MtG leaning against his
car so he asked her to dance with her arse a little more so she could
polish the car at the same time! No Hope In, on the run he said
lots of checking yes but if its more than 100m it’s a short cut!
Hares In, BB disagreed with JC and said he thought the run was
far better than last week-well done again! All the Teachers
In. They are Blue Harlots apprentice pervs, here’s to the future
pervs! Dandy Le Root & Murcury In. Merc ask DlR why he
didn’t go to the party last nite he said no one was going…but everyone
was there! We all enjoyed your spot Billy Boy, Come again.
French cunt of the week, Gives good Head. What’s the difference between a basket ball team and a French woman, Basket ball team showers after 4 periods! ! Safety Message The GM stated the Prince Charles Fucking Tosser has hared 5 times and each time he has been given Hash Shit. PCF Tosser has stated that he intends to continue his 100% record and go for Hash Shit EVERY time. So, The GM has now banned PCF Tosser from doing any more Haring for his hash year. Hares In, Run Master called the hares in and called for Hash Shit…Gorgeous said bollocks and called for good run…He got his wishes. Good run laddies! The Circle was closed. Word of the Weak…. OLIGARCHY. . government by small faction of people or families. And Remember…. Rosie was Red, BC always Blue, How fast the Run, its up to You. See you all next week, Not Clever & Julie Andews |