Scribe Report:                         Run  No. 1408                    Saturday 2nd March 2013

Hares: Prince Charles Fucking Tosser, Fungus & Two Stroke

Total Pack 122:  PH3 111,  Virgins 4,  Visitors 7, Visiting Hashers 0,  New Members 1.

Well,weve lost our esteamed DDD scribe so we had 2 today..Butt Plug (who had to piss off early) and your truly,who is after all Not so Clever.You will have to forgive my understanding of BPs scribble(and mines even worse!). So here goes...youve been warned.

The crowd were baying for hash shit as the GM called for order for the formation of the circle...some hope as it was only the lack of air in the throngs lungs that enabled him to start.  Due to a stuffed knee and being fat I couldnt do the run ,therefore I have no views and my thoughts are not tainted either way.

Returners.  Billy No Mates,Billy Boy & Bluey.  No idea where they had been but they are back and all should be thankfull.  Virgins...Three wet ones.

Run Offences..Mr Fister calls in Queen of Puke.  She was running for and after Singha,up,down in and around and screaming for pappa as she had led him astray.  So she thought, but all was ok and the big man will live to sell his beers and pies once again.  Billy Boy calls Lousie the Lip in.  As LtL buys his weekly apple pie he gave the money to the wrong lady..only cus she was the one holding money in her hand BB says the Lip is a doppy cunt.  Barbra Woodhouse calls Assterix in.  No idea why but after all he is the French cunt of the year...spose thats enough anway!  Jule Andrews calls Billy Boy in.   Ich nicht furstanden sie aber der Duecher ist den Twaten!.......Well thats all from Butt Plug..then the twat of a GM hands me the notes to scribe and then  calls me in for the substitute Steward!Whos the one whos not clever then?

1st Steward.  Not Cleaver.  Minnie Mouse in.  Only 3 hours ago MM asked for assitance in her hour of need.She said she was sick and could I step in at the last minute to be her Steward.  I asked how sick she was,she said "Well I'm fucking my brother, how sick do you want me to be?  MM always willing to help others: the other day a man came upto her in Big C and said "I cant find my wife,can I talk to you for a few minute?", "Why sure, do you know where your wife is?", "No idea" says the man "but every time I talk to a women with tits like yours she appears for fucking nowhere!".  British navy boat stops a boat heading for Brighton with 4 Muslim Pakis in.  What you doing, asks the Navy Captain, we are invading England,What just the 4 of you laffs the Capt. We are the LAST 4 the rest are already there!  JC was on a plane sitting next to a Muslim, JC asks for a whisky from the trolly dolly, the Muslim says Id rather be raped by 4 whores than let liquor pass my lips. JC hands his drink back and says, me too, I didnt know we had a choice!  Blue Harlot in.  NC says he's fed up with every one calling BH bad names (we know,who you are,what you are and where you live!)...Some Oscar PISTorious jokes. 

Roses are red,violets are glorous,Never creep up on Oscar Pisorius.
The judge asked him why he used the cricket bat,  he said it made sense as he already had the stumps!
 She didnt see Oscar sneaking up on her.  It was like the silence of the Limbs!
New evidence has been found out side Pistorious home that completly aquits him of his girlfriends murder.....FOOTPRINTS!

DamBuster in.  His wife asked him if she pleases him in bed.  He said,yes I love the trick you do with your mouth,what trick she asks.  The one when you shut the fuck up and go to sleep! He came home the other nite and saw his wife spread eagled on the bed with her legs wide open.She says you know what I want dont you?Yes all the fucking bed by the look of it! Well as Blue Harlot says,you cant please all the people all the time.!!

2nd Steward.Blue Harlot.  Hares in.  Prince Charles look a like went home early, goood job as BH thinks his a faggot and was about to be hung!  Mimmie Mouse in. MM asked BH if he could be a Steward, BH said yes but fucked off on holiday instead.  He sent MM a message upon his return to ask if she still wanted hin to steward...days later a message came back on his phone, I STILL WANT YOU...who the fuck sent this BH (and Teachers Pet) thought he had a secret bird on the go!  Not Cleaver in, BH says that NCs spot was GREAT and that the circle was getting harder to please and says if anyone can do better...give it a go!  BH says if Pistorius had blacked his face and pretended to be a coon he had got of with it.  Is that now the way in South Africa.  Anyway fuck off NC, your spot was crap, had your free drink and sit down and write a good report for him  (Ok BH done)  Gorgous in.  BH found an old lamp on Kamala Beach, he picked it up and out popped a geanie.  I will grant you a wish.  BH said I want to live for ever when at least untill Gorg STOPS singing karaoke!!!   Dr Fucking Jeykl in.  DFJ was talking about the horse meat problem in the UK shops.  BH brought a cucumber(or what he thought was one) turned out to be a horses cock!  BH,what a spot your jokes were by far better than my scibe..Well done great Steward.

Virgins in....well a very late comer,1 hour after the circle started (as Born Loser said...he wont be comming again!!)  The virgin drank well and give it his all...will we see him again after that torture??
GM calls in the big bird from France (Gives Good Head) who asked the GM which way was the start of the run?GM says anyway you want to...you french twat...(Bit harsh I feel...EDs note!)
French Cunt of the Week...Froggy....Froggy was having dinner with his lovely Barf Wader when she spills soup down her self.Oh,she says,I look like a pig now,Yes says Froggy and you have soup down your self too!

No Departers...Oh yes we do at the last minute...Shit Stop,well off you go my old son,FOUC,FOUC,FOUC...always a good sound bite from the circle!

Run Master calls for house shit and the crowd go wild.Hash Shit, HS,HS,HS but the Run Master points out that we can not give hash shit to a virgin hare and do we want to take it away from the French conection?  NO, But wait Price Charles fucked off early and really deserves Hash Shit so it was decided  to keep it till he comes to his next hash(which may not be a long time when he read this!!!

Well thats my first notes and as you can see my silling lives a lot to bee disirered but you were warned.

Onwards and upwards....
On On.
Not Cleaver.