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As
normal, Testicle Tom told to shut the fuck up, if and when there is a
new
scribe, do not sit next to TT or The French Pack! You won't hear a
thing!!! In
celebration of Australia Day, because we all know the Aussies love a
beer or two,
20 baht beers - huge cheer from the circle! Hares
in
the circle, the walkers are still trying to
figure out how to
get down from the hills, well according to JC they should have walked
the dam!
All the Aussies and Julie Andrews in, Blue Harlot reckons the only ones
left in
Australia are the Abos! Anyway it is
this time of the year that we have the 'Aussie of The Year' award, and
it can
only go to one person on the hash - Virgin My Arse.
It is
now the last Saturday in January so from next week Saturday 2 February
2013 the
run start time will return to 4pm. This
will also mean the bus times will change by half an hour! You have been
warned,
if you weren't listening or read this on line - you will have an extra
half
hour wait! Returners: Lost
Buffalo, Ice Arse, Virgin Pussy and Saggy Balls. Virgin: John, who had
literally just
climbed
up the hill to the circle after the run. He
sure
enjoyed his beer, and how much ice was in that
water!? Visiting Hashers: Slip
Shot,
Feed
The Farmer and somebody that
all at the bike hash met last week!! Short
name: Touch Me, Long name: Touch Me Again You Will
Die You
Bastard!!! She was intelligent too!
On OnRun Offenses: Houdini noticed that Blue Harlot has not only got a new car, which is black with white stripes down the side (does that make it go faster?) but the garage threw in a new pair of trainers, which match it, black with white stripes down the side - do they make you go faster too BH?? Gorgeous has a run offenses from 1987!! Sir Dubai and Gorgeous were on the run, and SD found a shortcut, 1/2 later and only 400 yards further down the track, they had got themselves stuck under a thorn bush, and were there for over an hour! Some shortcut eh!! Murkury wanted to make sure that Blue Harlot got the treatment he deserved with his new car, so out came the ashtray (or as BH calls it, the 'Sweetie Holder!') and apparently he has had the car 'pimped' by having stirrups and condom holders fitted!? Somebody wanted to know since when did Austria and Australia became one of the same, well every time Julie Andrews goes into a bar, and the girls ask him where he is from, he replies Austria (thought he was German!?) and the Thai girls always say "Oh Australia I have a friend that lives in Australia, do you know him!?" JC asked King Klong to stand in for Prince Charles FT - so how many found the falsie after coming down the hill onto the concrete road? Dandy La Root did! Well PCFT ran the run in reverse, with his mates, and he still found the falsie!! Fucking good check the hares reckon! Jungle Balls can't believe how bad the hash has got for letting non X-GMs (and the Scribe!) have a seat in the circle, bloody hell can't believe how many chairs there are in the circle, in fact there are more sitting than standing!! Lost Buffalo has even bought a chair for his dog! Yes, you read right, the dog has it's own bloody chair. Well actually the dog belongs to Virgin Pussy, so she enjoyed her own seat, on the ice, although the dog was smart enough not to join her on that seat! Mr Firster was in the gym the other day with Slow Cunt (well actually more like deaf cunt, he is as bad as Singha!). They are both on the treadmill and a couple of sexy ladies walk past the window, SC looses total concentration whilst checking out the girls, and goes arse over tit, with the treadmill still running, and SC scraping the skin off his knees and elbows!! Not Cleaver wanted a spot in this weeks circle, well after last weeks steward spot, he was given a time limit of 1 minute (thank the lord!) It is Double Down Down's last scribe session today, as her and Rude as Fuck are returning to the UK shortly. So there was a collection and some presents were bought; a pair of wellington boots and a wooly hat for DDD and a shovel for RaF, all of these are to help them when they are in the snow, and can't get out of the front door!!! They both enjoyed a beer from the 'new' wellington boots - although they had been used recently to cut the grass or something as there was all sorts of shit in the bottom of them! Thank you everybody :) Not Cleaver also wanted to continue with his Belgium Cunt of the Week theme - NC hasn't seen much Belgium football, but it's all in the title of the game foot and ball, both go together to make the game. Well not last week, for the Belgium's it was Foot and ballboy! GM thinks you must be stupid to be a teacher here in Phuket! Why, well somebody asked BH when did Sir Dubai become GM of the PH3! Jesus, it's not difficult BH SD was the very first GM!! But we all know BH is not interested in anything over 27 years old! Virgin My Arse (our Aussie of the year) and the rest of the Aussie contingent were joined in the circle by the 'Platta Pussies' (who had been practicing on the bus!). I can tell you what, it takes some organising with these Aussies! Bestiality's
Great Mate
To the tune of 'Tie me kangaroo down sport' Chorus: Bestiality's great mate, Bestiality's great Bestiality's great mate, Bestiality's great ....... Fuck a Wallaby! Tie me kangaroo down boys, Tie me kangaroo down, You can't fuck him jumping around, boys So tie me kangaroo down. Chorus Change your luck with a duck, Chuck Change your luck with a duck, A duck's a marvelous fuck, Chuck So change your luck with a duck Chorus A drake's the best all around, mate A drake's the best all around, It's entry's surrounded by down, mate A drake's the best all around Chorus A camel's a hell of a lay, Ray, A camel's a hell of a lay, Humping the hump, as they say, Ray A camel's a hell of a lay Chorus A moose is no bloody use, Bruce A moose is no bloody use, She's big, she's mean and she's loose, Bruce A moose is no bloody use Chorus GM asked Not Cleaver to make his steward spot last week a longish one, as he was the only steward. HUGE mistake, it was the longest steward spot in history. He also used one of the oldest jokes in history - it was 25 years old! Steward - Shitstop: Blue Harlot, Mr Fister and Clitmas Pussy in as they are all teachers. Shitstop has been 'summoned' into school to see his 11 year old son's teacher (not asked you will notice!). Shitstop didn't know why, so he thought he would ask the friend of his son, who told him that they had been singing in school. What could be so bad about that, well it was somebody's birthday and they sang HBYC!!!! Any cat lovers (plenty of pussy lovers mate!) so Jungle Balls is, cat or pussy or both who knows!? Shitstop's wife wanted a Siamese cat, well he looked around and they were well expensive, so he did, as all men do, compromised, he got 2 ugly cats and superglued them together! Rosie........ he came unstuck with that one! Moonwalker was saying to Shitstop that she hurt on different parts of her body, and she was touching each of these painful parts with her finger, it wasn't that she hurt, it was the fact that her finger was broken! Slip Shot was having problems doing the jigsaw and asked Shitstop for some help, it was of a Rooster, but she couldn't find any of the corner bits to even start it off! He went into the room to help her out and told her to put the cornflakes away in the box! Blonde jokes apparently!? JC and Miser Fister were working as cattle drovers JC said he had a herd of 6,000 cattle to move tomorrow, and MF asked him what route he was taking, JC replied "I'm taking the misses!" Next joke was totally lost in translation for me - something about towel heads - is it an Aussie thing!? Shitstop found Lord Louis the Lip crying in the street the other day, apparently he has got himself a new woman, she is 20 years old and wants sex morning, noon and night and then some. She gives him 2 BJ before he goes to sleep! Shitstop couldn't really see a problem with that, especially to make LLtL cry! Well apparently LLtL can't remember where he lives!! French (Froggy) and German ( GM reminded us that it is a big day for the Aussies, but they don't need to celebrate for several days before hand. They were shooting German tourists in Patong a couple of days ago! Apparently you don't need a special day to celebrate by shooting Germans! Blue Harlot and GM were walking in Phuket Town and BH couldn't take his eyes of a couple of school girls who were 15 years old (are your their teacher BH!?) GM told him to pack it in, as it was embarrassing, GM told BH that he had got fillings in his teeth older than these girls. BH replied "well I wouldn't fuck your fillings!" New Member: Dog Breath, who wasn't there, but GM has got her phone number (big grin on his face!). Numbered Runs: Hyde The Mrs - 50 runs (she wouldn't take it off!). BH thought the next one would have saggy tits and a big arse; Flo Jo - 100 runs and finally Lord Louis the Lip - 1100 Runs and he took it off!! Congratulations to you all. Slip Shot has only run 5 times with PH3, so why oh why is she wearing a 100 runs t-shirt. Houdini iced for giving her the t-shirt "the things you do for your Sister" well you could have bought her a t-shirt you tight so and so! No Hope was 50 this week - HBYC!!! Steward - No Hope: Thank you to the hares for a good run, and thanks to Dambuster for arranging the Laager. Although there has been a complaint made by Dambusters replacement at the dam, apparently there is too much littering going on on the run - paper everywhere! NH awarded GM with BCOTW today, for using all the material that he was going to use in his steward spot (did you tell him what you were going to use NH?). Golden Rain and Tits for Brains, have been doing some exercise with the hula hoop, and they gave NH a re-run of it, he was sat on the ice, eye level with their groins and singing happy birthday to me and a huge grin on his face! Lord Louis the Lip always says that NH doesn't show him enough respect!! LLtL used to be a true hasher, just going out running and then staying in his sweaty shirt and shorts after. Not nowadays, he always take a shower, but only washes his meat and two veg when the girls are walking past him - he has a good old grope of them (meat and 2 veg not the girls!). NH wanted Houdini to entertain us again with his singing - god please no! All future karaoke sessions at Lady Pie cancelled! Australia has no talent! Gay Cowboy looks like he still has the security tags on his trainers, I bet he sets off alarms all over the place. Don't you think he looks like Joe Biden (US Vice President, who is helping to fuck up the rest of the world!). Well after a long absence away, GC returns to his wife and tells her he is ready for sex, he has taken his viagra and is ready to go. She too tells him she is ready for sex and has had a tetanus injection, it's bound to be rusty having had no use for so long!? NH wants a heavily tattooed Ausie - Virgin My Arse; he gave her lessons on how to fire a gun correctly, so you can get the Germans good and proper next time. Secret Banana Gobbler and Blue Harlot (who claims he is not guilty!) in the circle, when SBG turned up with Barbara Woodhouse in 'Shitty Shitty Bang Bang' BW got out the car screaming after Blade and SBG got out looking and waddling like a penguin! BH commented to NH that BW had covered the old banger again! That's no way to talk about BW misses!! Lost Buffalo and NH were training in the gym together, LB looks in great shape LB told him "today I'm a circle!" Good steward spot. Dragon Fly commented that Testicle Tom was the poser of the decade, there he was sitting in the Royal Box next to Sir Dubai, but he had no hash shirt on, although he did have a signed Carabao shirt on and posing as a 49 fan - no hats in the circle. That may have got lost in translation - it's something to do with American football (you know that game where they use a rugby ball and are protected to the hilt!). FCOTW: Again this week, GM was prepared, but didn't need it as the French were good to their word, and fucked up again! Froggy went to buy a beer from Nugget and he only goes and stands on the Aussie Flag that was on the floor - on today of all days!! So Froggy is iced, with the flag on the ice too!! All the French in, why - too much beer left! They were also joined by Singha, Houston Basher, Moonwalker, Billy No Mates, Butt Plug, Born Looser, Duke of Puke and OJ - just to use up the beer! Departers: Double Down Down (last scribe!) and Ejackulator. Hares and the Run Master (BW) in the circle, jesus it was like Last Night of the Proms with all the flags waving. JC reckons this run shows that Aussies are the greatest sporting nation! Anyway, the circle didn't agree with that, but they did all agree Good Run. Yay, 6.07pm circle closed! So that, my friends, is the end of my era at PH3. This is my 65th and last set of notes you will read on line or at next weeks hash. Hope you have enjoyed reading them, some a lot longer than others (last week is a prime example!). Such a shame that there was nobody willing to take on the role of Scribe Chaser. Come on you lot, this hash is run by the members for the members - ANYBODY can scribe, it doesn't hurt, and members that are either not at the hash, or can't hear (Singha and Slow Cunt especially) appreciate being able to read what was said in the circle. Well, for 65 weeks my name was up in lights and my scribe notes will be forever saved on the PH3 website. Hope to read the scribe notes again soon. Signing off ........ Double Down Down
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