After several calls for "Turn the music down" and the pack stocking up on their ice cold free beer - but only if you had an AGPU t-shirt, the circle started.  Apparently somebody made a complaint that the t-shirts weren't big enough, well if Big Bollox can get into one, then ANYBODY can!  Big announcement there is a Maraud on 9 August 2012 - see the PH3 website for further details - but keep it a secret!!

King Klong celebrating his birthday, to a resounding HBYC from the circle.  Born Looser had HUGE new shoes, although he reckons they were once Lost Buffalo's - not sure why he has got his shoes on?? He also reckons that they weren't new but had just washed them!!  15 Gets You 20 also had new shoes, just 3 straps of leather attached to a wedge heel!  Any volunteers to drink out of them, No Hope was full of hope, but Sir Wanda got in there first - and managed to drink some of the beer - and then proceeded to 'lick' the shoes out - god I hope she sanitized them afterwards.   

The GM is here to say thank you to everybody and to elect a new committee.  But first a couple of awards (beer basically!).  First: Young Hasher of the Year - there were calls for Lord Louis the Lip, but no it wasn't him.  This person wasn't even a member of the hash when the GM took over, yet she has taken on a role on the committee that was very hard to fill - and now nobody else will go near it.  Yay, it's me - Double Down Down and I can't believe nobody is standing for the Scribe this year - oh well, you will have to put up with me for another year!!! There was some serious piss taking going on from Not Cleaver - he will pay later!! Virgin My Arse, aka Hash Flash also thanked for all her hard work, and there is currently a weekly competition, most words v most photos!!  Second: Get A Life Award - apart from Nugget there is only one hasher that has been to all 52 runs - Murkury.  A big thank you to those that have hared at least 4 or more times: No Hope - 13 and the nearest to that was 7 - some were calling for him to be awarded with the 'Get A Life Award.'  Thanks also to Singha, Ape Man, Gorgeous, JC, Murkury, Barbara Woodhouse, Who The Fuck Is Alice, Turncoat, Dicksappointing and Virgin My Arse.  WITHOUT hares PH3 will not run, so if you haven't hared before, it is not fucking difficult, just get off your arse and do it!!   

So to start the election - 1 post 1 candidate:  

Hash Quack:  Ape Man and his dog have kept HQ extremely busy this year, but NH will only stay in post if he can renew his CPR technique with 15 Gets You 20 every month!!!  Elected: No Hope 

Public Relations:  The Dream Team!!! Elected: Dambuster and Cobbler 

Music:  Apparently the GM was told this isn't a voting position!! Elected: Sir Bollox 

Steward Chaser: I'm sure the pack won't mind being chased by ... Elected: Minnie Mouse 

Hash Flash:  JC reckons current HF is no good..... really????? There is nobody else that has the energy to take as many photos as she does.  Elected:  Virgin My Arse 

The French pack and Disparu in to a resounding chorus of Ou Est Le Papier?  They haven't been singing much today, so they WILL sign to us, they were barely in tune and it was more like a surrender!!  

Impedimenta:  Another dream team that is ..... Elected:  Clitmas Pussy and Moonwalker 

Webmaster:  Stuck with the current cock! Elected: Jungle Balls 

Run Master:  Two willing volunteers that are happy to work together.... Elected: JC and Barbara Woodhouse 

It was also announced that as about 90% of the hash signs seem to have disappeared!!! At no cost to the hash, more signs will be made - thank you Murkury. 

On Site Registrar:  Fucking difficult job to fill, and the next 2 people to open their mouths will be doing it.... Obviously one of those was Froggy!!  There is a also a willing, young and gay volunteer.....  Elected:  Froggy and Juan Palorista. 

Bus Registrar:  What an unfortunate combination to have both of these guys in the circle at the same time - Elected:  Butt Plug (Patong) and Dicksappointing (Kamala).   

Paper:  If you need paper, you need to come and find this guy at the Expat Sports Bar in Patong... Elected:  Butt Plug 

Database:  As the On Site Registrar has as much computer literacy as a newt... Elected:  Dicksappointing 

On Sec:  Once Weekly is standing down, after 5 years, so his younger and better looking replacement is taking over.... Elected:  Fungus 

Grand Mattress:  Pole Position currently in position (now now boys!!), not sure what the role is, but something about short skirts and flattering bra was mentioned- anyway nobody elected therefore GM to decide.   (He's decided, it's Pole Position)

 Joint GM:  Always the Bridesmaid....... Elected:  Billy Boy 

Hash Cash:  Seeing as the previous hash cash has now moved to spend his ill gotten gains (only kidding - don't panic - you have all seen the figures!!) Elected:  Double Down Down

 What a motley crew this lot make!!!!  All former GM's in before the new GM is announced!!    GM received an email from Disparu about the article in the Phuket News about the alcohol ban on 26 August NOT July you plank! As always Gorgeous wanted to know "What's the charge?" 50,000 volts if you don't shut up - Murkury is trying to listen to what the GM has to say and all Gorgeous is doing is talk, talk and talk, and most of it is bullshit!!! Julie Andrews got himself all excited about the AGPU today, in fact Top Off noticed that he obviously had other things on his mind - Bud Plug seems a nice sweet young boy!? But who the fuck is he?? Sir Wanda is absolutely delighted to see all the new blood at the hash: Twice Nightly, Pole Position, Mind The Gap and Oh Yea - this isn't young blood it is some of the 'top totty' on the hash - but at least it keeps the 'geriatrics' happy.  Nutcracker offered Flip Flop a down down and told her to stop moaning about the fact that he never buys her anything!!  He got to drink as many Down Downs as hashes he has been to this year - that would be NONE then!  White Pointer has been coming to the hash for 23 years, those were the days when there were about 14 people and there used to be sandwiches after the run!! This is a bloody good hash.  Reverend Finger Licker thanked Brother Wanda for bringing in the new blood earlier, but he didn't see one Christian - so Top Off was asked to show us his 'Easter Impression' - wow is was pretty realistic!!  Dambuster talked about ?????? It was all in Thai but I did hear "GM" and "Manneken Pis", the GM thought his thunder had been stolen, but not to worry, apart from the Pooyings, nobody had any idea what was going on!!   Late arrival of Duke of Puke and WC Fields - so they stood in the ice water and they both enjoyed a drink out of DoP new trainers!!  

GM took off his jacket and hat, and there was a huge chorus of FOYC - he hadn't even gone anywhere!!    

GM:  First candidate is Manneken Pis, you will notice at great expense that this cunt is on the sleeve of the AGPU t-shirt so if you stand against him you have to buy 120 new t-shirts.  Elected:  Manneken Pis 

A huge round of applause for incoming and retiring GM and an even louder chorus of FOYC for Jungle Balls. 

Hash Music:  We have a fly (who couldn't remember his words) and a mosquito who were joined in the circle by the backing singers that included: Twice Nightly, Mind The Gap and Oh Yea for the BZZZ BZZZ song! 

New GM thanked Hash Music and the wonderful backing signers for a great English lesson!  He wanted to call Jungle Balls in, but couldn't see him in the sea of green that was the circle.  Anyway he found him and thanked him for a very good job.  GM will also work extremely hard on not being a dictator like Jungle Balls was. 

Not Cleaver was iced for taking the piss out of Double Down Down earlier on in the circle, he would stay in the ice for as long as DDD entertained the circle, well that wouldn't be very long if she was on her own, so she was joined by Rude as Fuck, No Hope, Julie Andrews and Blue Harlot!!! His feet were blue and numb for a while after that!!! French pack and Jungle Balls, so after all the hard work that JB did to get hash music on the website, the French still don't sing, because the dumb muppits can't read!!   King Klong - HBYC and was thanked for putting on the food - it better be good!!!!   And it all went down hill from there ................ See the photos for evidence!!!