Scribe Report:                         Run  No. 1396                    Saturday 8th December 2012

Hares: Cobbler Top Off, Tiger and Porn Shop
Total Pack 117:  PH3 106,  Virgins 0,  Visitors 7, Visiting Hashers 2,  New Members 2.


Well, you’ve got me while Double Down Down has gone off for a dirty weekend, she told me she has to pay her rent. (boys)

So off we go. Now I know what HHH means, Hot, Hornets, Hurt. A good laager spot, near B.I.S with a varied and not too hard run with the first runner Princess coming in at 44 minutes. (Short cutting git.) Loads of hornet stings and one hasher hospitalised. The hares of Cobbler Top Off, Tiger and Porn Shop suitably punished throughout the circle. First ones in were Jungle Balls and Dicksappointing who were iced for talking over the G.M, and Princess and Great Dick quickly followed them for being like a big bunch of girlies.

Returners - Philphy Pisshead, Wurzel Gummidge, Rotary Wanker, Naked Gun, and Mr. Dick.

Julie Andrews  in and iced as it was revealed he really is a passport holding real German, next time don’t get pissed and leave your passport in a taxi, only a stupid Dumbkoft German would do that …. Oh! …… you are.  The ice was then taken over by our newly arrived Vaginal Slime from Singapore…… He’s a dirty mother……… as it goes. Another one who can’t keep quiet. Princess and Great Dick congratulated for coming 3rd as the Hash team in last week’s Iron Man, well done, they could have won it if they weren’t holding hands all the way round the course. Porn Shop the star of the show with an amazing completion of the whole course in 5 hours 49 minutes well done Porn Shop.

Visiting Hashers – Vaginal Slime and 2 Stroke.

Tootsie brought in and living up to his name and sporting a lovely pair of shiny earrings, well embarrassed.


McFuehrer

Naming
– Klaus Meyer now to be known as Mc Fuehrer. (I had to get a German to help me spell that,  Danke schoen Julie Andrews; apparently he likes burgers and comes from Hamburg.

Run Offenses – Philphy Pisshead in and went on and on about missing the start of the run until he was booed off and told to read the website for the start time.  Murkury in and took the piss out of Tootsie who took his shoes off to cross a river, what a tart. Barfwader in to show off the result of a very brave hornet who took a bite out of her arse, and then Great Dick who came in to show off his lovely waxed legs. Nice.

1st Steward – White Pointer. He started with J.C who is forever calling Paper ‘Donkey’ Paper said, He Haw, He Haw calls me that. White Pointer then looked to the skies and asked for inspiration from Rosie to get through his spot, and Rosie responded with some crap jokes, you’re not forgotten Rosie. Singha Gold in as a stand in Irishman and was asked ‘Have you ever shoed a horse.” To which he replied, “No, but I did tell a donkey to fuck off once.” Not Cleaver for in a past life waking up from a night on the piss and seeing a big fat ugly bird lying next to him in bed. “Thank fuck I got home alright he said to himself” then he iced Gorgeous he was responsible for introducing the dreaded sinbin. King Klong was in next about a suicide joke, and that’s when Rosie got his revenge……. Tumbleweed blew gently across the circle. Thank you White Pointer and Rosie for a good steward spot.
  
New Members – Tom Woods and Shirley. (Sounds like a porn double act to me.)

25 run shirts went to Pink Sock, Tokyo Joe, and Billy No Mates, we all wondered why HIV was still at the circle, well it was for his 400th run shirt, and the Woodpecker for 9 fucking hundred runs. Well done to all.

2nd Steward  - Singha Gold. First punishment to Minnie Mouse who saw him at the airport and asked him to be a steward today, bloody keen isn’t she? Next the Australians in for being responsible for the death of a nurse at the royal hospital which was looking after Kate Middleton, turned out she heard Louis the Lip was coming in so she topped herself rather than face him. Then Herr Julie Andrews who needed a partner and minder to go on the piss in Kamala poor old Singha Gold had to listen to Julie whine all night on the woes of being a German. White Pointer his next victim for not asking him to be a marshal on the Iron Man and accusing him of being a lazy bastard and not getting out of bed unless he needs a shit, and sometimes he doesn’t do that. Then the Hares for all being shortarses and making Singha Gold do the whole run on all fours due to all the low foliage. Princess iced again, lovely. Great Spot.

G.M called in Froggy as ‘French Cunt of the Week ‘apparently he asked Barfwader what she is going to give him for Christmas. She replied,”The same as last year” “Oh no, not fucking food poison again” he said.

Departers – Philphy  Pisshead and the lovely Christine. (Another porn act.)

Hares were brought in and J.C conducted the vote and even though we had injuries and hornet bites a good run was called. For all those who read this report from Europe, well it was fucking roasting today. Bye bye see you all next week.

On On.

The Blue Harlot.