GM thanked the hares, and well done to Mr Fister, virgin hare.  No t-shirts with tit cups available this week - maybe next week? Juan Palorista has the luxury, every week, to travel to the hash with the GM - but there is a cost - this week GM's car was about 800m away and JP had the luxury of carrying the hash box all the way! According to Blue Harlot, that is what Filipinos are for!?  Due to too many complaints about dogs pissing, shitting, annoying people in the circle and begging for food - ALL DOG OWNERS - KEEP YOUR DOGS UNDER CONTROL - NO DOGS IN THE CIRCLE.  Returners:  Big Bollox, Mr Fister, Oh Yea, Tokyo Joe, Oy Pusslicker & Goldie.  Virgins:  Apparently there was a bucket load of them, but only 2 turned up in the circle - perhaps they heard about ice cold water with their beer! Visiting Hashers:  Two stroke, Ass for Break, Testicles, Flying Fox and Cow Shit.  GM called Minnie Mouse into the circle, but got a reply, from about 3 miles away, that she was eating!! So Oh Yea came in, when she turned up on the bus, Big Bollox was one of the first to great her, with "hello sexy" and she replied "hello old man how are you!" So back to Minnie Mouse, last week she told Billy Boy that he was a Steward, so when the GM asked for any run offenses, he didn't say a word, as wanted to save them for his steward spot! Anyway, he wasn't a steward, so BB asked GM to relay an offense he would have used last week.  After the Iron Pussy, BB was at the Little Expat when the bus turned up, and off Minnie Mouse got, and ended up flat on her face as she was absolutely shit faced, and President had to drive her home!

Run Offenses:  So the GM announced NO DOGS in the circle, as they piss and shit too much and annoy people.  Well No Hope noticed that Oh Yea was here there and everywhere looking for a spot to take a toilet break.  Blue Harlot offered his face for the next time.  Jungle Balls reminded us we should never trust a hare - they all lie! Julie Andrews told JB that it was a flat run with no hills (lie number 1) OK, so there was a hill, but it was about 90m and not in one go (lie number 2).  Gorgeous thanked Pole Position for catching him somewhere nice (well he thought it was) when he slipped on the mud - she just about saved him from disgracing himself! Princess was in the middle of drying himself off after the run, and he took a look along the row of cars (he said to see if there were any girlies he could catch a look at - if you believe that you will believe anything!).  What he did see what an 'old guy' lying on the floor, moaning and aching.  That's it, we are on the Saturday 'old fuck hash' and somebody has only gone and died.  Apparently not Princess, Vomit Bomber was only doing some stretching! Apparently the old bastard (aka Vomit Bomber) beat Princess in by 200m - NO RACING ON THE HASH! Not Cleaver did the walk with visiting hasher Cow Shit - he walked with him all the way round, until the last few hundred meters, when NC ran away from CS! Why, because CS asked NC 96 questions, and actually answered 96 questions.  So why ask a question if you know the fucking answer! White Pointer was one of the first to arrive at the Laager today, closely followed by Big Bollox and Born Looser.  BL had a car full with him, in the boot were the seats and clean t-shirts, in the back was the wife and two kids, and in the front, along with BL driving was the dog - yes the DOG had got the whole of the passenger seat - spoiled or what!

Hash Music - Sir Bollox not around, as he has found some work in Brunei - so we are graced with the presence of his Brother Big Bollox:

Written by: Big Bollox

  My name is May and I get it every day in the Jimmy Saville home
With friends I will remember wherever I may roam

 Chorus:

And my name is May and I get it every day
In the Jimmy Saville home for star struck boys and girls
We all love May and she gets it every day
In the Jimmy Saville home for star struck boys and girls.

 
There is old Fred he is suck a way and really very good fun
Thinks that he can have his way for cigarettes and bubble gum
He doesn't like me very much said I've too much hair,
He likes the little ones who's muff is soft and bare.

Chorus

 There's Gary over there with his funny old hair and he always wants a feel
He likes to touch us up and check our tits are real
He likes down on our knees pretending it cry and moan
Then we have to pretend his things a microphone.

Chorus

 There's Jonathan King the randy old thing thinks that boys are best
But still likes to take our pictures in nothing but a vest
He tells the girls to suck and stroke and take it all right in
Then we have to swallow as it's good for our skin.

 Chorus

 Here is Jim with his entourage his think is really small
He likes to take me from behind because he said I'm tall
He's favourite trick is to lick our thing and suck down on our clit
But we have to be careful cos he hates the smell of shit.

Steward - Butt Plug:  Before BP gets going, he wanted to do a naming ceremony - Granny who has about 8/9 runs under his belt keeps moaning to BP every time he registers that he hasn't yet got a name.  PH3 name: Granny Takes It Up The Arse - should never ask to be named!! BP wanted to know who sorts out the numbered run t-shirts for everybody, and writes the name so the GM knows who to present it to!  Well that would be Jungle Balls, so iced he was! Why - well when Slow Cunt got his t-shirt the other week, his name was written as SLOW CNUT - well seeing as JB was in Australia, that is down to one person - Moonwalker! Hates the word cunt, won't say it or use it!!! I'm sure JB will get you back on the ice!  OK, BP has got no dancing girls to assist him, no gay friend like Princess - so he hopes not to bore you all.  The hash is like one big happy family with people from all over the world coming together for a common cause! Australian - Mr Fister: Jungle Balls and Clitmas Pussy went to Australia recently and shared their great time on FB with photos and updates.  When BP visited Oz it started off bad and went downhill from there.  Arrived at Sydney, and the Customers Officer checked his passport, looked him up and down and asked him if he had ever been jailed or arrested.  No, I didn't know you still had to do that to get in!! BP needed a Kiwi man, well we certainly don't have any on the hash, so a Welsh man will have to do - Jungle Balls.  He had been out on the beer, and returned home, a bit worst for ware, and went into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm.  Clitmas Pussy was in bed reading a book and JB said "see this is the pig I have to sleep with", CP replied "I think you will find that is a sheep" JB replied "it is the sheep I am talking too!" See it just wouldn't have worked with Princess would it!? When BP arrived at the Laager, he saw Blue Harlot standing alone looking very stressed and upset.  Apparently he had tried to ring the rape hotline, but it is only for victims! BP asked if there was anything else on his mind - apparently his girlfriend had called him a Pedophile! Wow that's a long word for a 10 year old to use! Always Wet registers at the Expat every week, but this week she had the weight of the world on her shoulders! She was having a shower the other night, and as she stepped out of the shower her son walked into the bathroom, and she was stark bollock naked! Her son pointed to between her legs and asked her what that was? She replied that an Indian had hit her with a tomahawk - WOW Mom that must have hurt and right in the cunt aswell! Talking of cunts - Julie Andrews was in the Expat the other night and was talking to BP about his family.  Apparently JA grandfather died in Auschwitz, BP asked if he sadly died in the gas chamber - no the silly cunt fell out of the guard tower! Finally a test - 15 Gets You 20 who works at the Expat, and reckons she gets all the punch lines to the jokes, and is bored in the circle - so for ever 4 jokes she doesn't know the punch line too, she will receive a beer: 1) Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he is black.  2) Why do Arabs smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too. 3) What is the biggest cause of Pedophilia in this country? Sexy children.  4) What is the worst thing about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair. 5) What is al-Qaeda's favourite football team? New York Jets.  6) What is white on top and black on the bottom? Society.  7) What is black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.  8) How can a redneck tell when his sister has her period? His Dad's dick tastes funny.  9) After strangulation which organ remains warm? My cock. 10) How do you circumcise a hill billy? Kick his sister in the jaw.  11) How do you make a black man nervous? Take him to an auction. 12) Black man, Arab and a Catholic priest go into a bar. The bar tender tells them to fuck off! Plenty of down down's for 15GY20! Great steward spot.

A few weeks ago, Assterix tried to name a Swiss man, with some stupid weak name he found on the internet! Anyway with the black things in his ears (see the photo if you don't believe me) his PH3 name is Triple Asshole! New member:  Shirley (great name, which is actually his hash name - could have had some fun naming him!). Numbered Runs; 25 - Princess (didn't take it off not for the want of trying from Testicle Tom and Oh Yea). 100 - Mind The Gap (again didn't take it off, but Oh Yea tried to help again! Obviously the beer was kicking in at this stage!). Mr Fister, the GM did announce no dogs in the circle, you should keep Oh Yea on a leash!!

Steward - Julie Andrews:  Start with the Hares - well done!  Minnie Mouse iced, she gets JA to be a steward and then tries to steel his notes! Remember a few weeks ago and trying to think of famous people from Belgium.  Well GM they forgot the guy who knocked up his children in the basement! Apparently he is a good friend of the GMs.  Question: How many children does a single Belgium have? Answer: 22 on video and 4 in the basement. Jungle Balls iced, he and JA had a conversation at the Pooying last week, and during the GM's first circle JB was iced 8 times - it took him 3 days to find his cock!  Clitmas Pussy vouched for that! Last week JA borrowed Mr Fisters car to take his brother back to the airport (thank you) and No Hope asked JA to pick up the HHH signs to save stopping the bus.  Well there were that many cars behind JA that he didn't bother to stop for the first one, and was going to pick it back up when he did he recce the following day.  Unfortunately NH did stop the bus to pick up the sign, but didn't tell JA and he drove 20km out of his way for nothing the following day.  NH would have told him if he wasn't an Austrian! Swollen Colon was late again today, and didn't register.  He jumped out of his car and left his 4 year old daughter waiting for him to return. Mr Fister said she was sat there with 1000 baht in her pocket - she didn't have it when SC left her there!!  BH lost some money today - but she only asked him for 500 baht!! Oh Yea was iced, and gave the circle a treat most of them had been waiting for for a while!!  She dropped her shorts and flashed her g-string and parts of her body to anybody that wanted to see it (most of the male population in the circle!).  BH even took a drink of beer from the g-string (lets hope hash flash caught that!!).  My god the circle turned into carnage, and who says JA steward spots are boring!?!?  GM reckoned that was the best steward spot ever in the history of the hash (well the last 3 minutes anyway!).

On On

Double Down Down