The GM thanked the Hares, for what he thought was a good run - lets wait and see what the Runmaster and the rest of the pack think later.  Julie Andrews iced, just because!? White Pointer announced details for the volunteers for the Triathlon and the Iron Man - see the PH3 website for full details.  Testicle Tom announced Thanksgiving at the BBQ Hut (no advertising on the hash TT!!)  just outside Patong the the way to Karon - 600 baht and just so you know TT is stuffing the turkey this year!!! Returners:  Clitmas Pussy, Jungle Balls, WC Fields, Butt Cycle and Duke of Puke.  Virgins: A shit load of them, Blue Harlot reckoned some of them looked like gypsies! Anyway they all enjoyed iced water with their beer. Ape Man's dog was causing havoc with the beer, knocking plenty of the down down's over.  Then spot wanted a piece of the action!! Ban the bloody dogs in the circle GM!

Run Offenses:  Cartoon was seen doing some cracking karate moves on the run trying to get rid of the dogs that were chasing him, he is the new Karate Kid! Not Cleaver reminded us of the fact that the GM was so proud of the famous people that are from Belgium, the 2nd most famous is Tin Tin and his dog (yep he is proud of a cartoon character!).  While in Singapore NC visited a shop that had just been opened by the Belgium Ambassador in Singapore, and this shop was called Tin Tin.  GM bought a lovely bag with Tin Tin and his famous dog on the front.  The GM nearly got a mug with Tin Tin's dog Snowy (or Milou if you are French and watched the original French edition!), but Pole Position took a liking to the mug, so the GM got the empty mug box with a picture of the dog on it! Oh well at least the thought was there! Princess wanted to know who the owner of the fucking rabid dog was (he was referring to Ape Man's dog!). Princess arrived on his bike, as he is training for the Iron Man, and before going out on the run was getting all his stuff ready - the dog (sorry don't know it's name!) was taking a liking to all the kit that was on the floor.  Anyway before long the dog had pissed on his kit - so Princess is annoyed to say the least.  On his return, Princess takes a swim in the lake, on his exit from the lake the dog had a good old sniff and tried to fuck him up the arse!! The dog will now be known as Princess Fucker!!! Toad reminded all those going to the Chiang Mai SH3 1111th run in December to register on line or you won't receive your t-shirt.  This includes all those from the Iron Pussy too!! It's been on the website long enough!! Good luck to Porn Shop, Great Dick and Princess who are taking part in the Iron Man in a couple of weeks.  Porn Shop isn't the gay one and is taking part in the whole race.  Great Dick and Princess are part of a relay team.  Apparently Porn Shop used to be as tall as GD and Princess until he started training for the Iron Man.  Well done to Princess and GD who also took part in the Krabi Adventure bike ride recently.  Julie Andrews pointed out that White Pointer has a new motorbike - no ashtray on it, but why did he bring it into the circle? So he could sit on it as couldn't bring a chair. Then the same old - "I'm an ex-GM they are they only ones that can sit down in the circle blah blah blah!!" Bullet Rash enjoyed a chat with Duke of Puke, WC Fields and Billy Boy (who was a stand in for Swollen Colon).  They visited Vietnam recently, and BR asked if they had fun visiting temples and taking in the beautiful countryside.  Not a chance, they found a pub in Saigon that had a happy hour that lasted 4 hours and they could drink all they liked for $5 - I'm sure they got their monies worth!? Barbara Woodhouse was standing by registrations today and Sucker came to register, he took out his handkerchief, which had a knot in it, and inside was all his money.  15 Gets You 20 said he reminder her of her Nanna (hope she hasn't got a beer gut like that? BH words not mine!).

Steward - Sucker:  He didn't know wether to thank Minnie Mouse or blame her as he hasn't been in the circle for about 18 months. He had been busy with his restaurant but lost lots of money as it didn't work out! Anyway last week there was a visitor called Sad Tongue (don't use the N word Sucker - but somebody did in the circle!).  She asked Sucker if he could give her a lift home and he said he could, but she had to share the back seat of the car with Testicle Tom (poor girl) and indeed she was poor - TT had his hands all over her! He should be renamed Tom the Grope! Sucker was on the walk with a couple of the virgins - and he knew they were virgins as they were out on their first walk with beers (Klong still does that now after over 1100 runs!!).  Little Johnny is in class and his teacher (no not BH!) asked him to name 3 Kings that have bought peace and happiness to mankind.  Little Johnny replies; Smoking, Drinking and Fucking! Billy Boy, Jungle Balls, Flying Dickhead and Duke of Puke were all enjoying a great game of golf.  On their way round they were talking about playing a round on Christmas Day, it would mean that they would leave their woman sorting out all the food and dealing with all the stress that is associated with Christmas Day.  So it was agreed 9am tee off on Christmas Day.  There they all were bang on time, Billy Boy told them it had cost him a fortune to play golf on Christmas Day, he had to buy the wife a diamond ring! Jungle Balls had to buy his wife a new car. Flying Dickhead had booked a cruise for his wife's next holiday. Duke of Puke didn't know what all the fuss was about - he woke up, smacked his wife on the arse, wished her Merry Christmas and said "shall we have sex or shall I play a round of golf?" She replied 'Your golf shoes are in the cupboard!" JC and Paper (like the Jerry Springer show!) were at home and Paper asked JC if he would like some breakfast, he replied that he wasn't that hungry and it might be the viagra that he is taking.  Later that day, Paper asks JC if he would like some lunch, again he replies that he isn't that hungry and still thinks it is the viagra that is suppressing his appetite. Later that evening Paper asks JC if he would like some dinner, again same reply, not hungry and thinks it is the viagra that is causing it! Paper replied "well I'm fucking starving, so get off me so I can make some food!!" Good steward spot. 

The GM met Blue Harlot in Macro this week, and BH was chatting to a 6 year old girl that was in the shop.  Blue Harlot said she reminded him of his big toe, because sooner or later he would bang it on the table!  BH also said he daughter had told him what she wanted for Christmas, well if you want to know you will have to ask BH or the GM! 

No-No-No

BY: IVOR BIGGUN
TUNE: ITSELF

AT THE APPLIANCE SHOP I BOUGHT A DIRTY BOOK
BACK IN MY LAV I HAD A BLOODY GOOD LOOK
THERE WAS A NUDE, NAKED LADY AND A MAN DRESSED THE SAME
DOING SOMETHING DIRTY WITH A FUNNY FOREIGN NAME
IT TOOK IT TO MY GIRLFRIEND BUT SHE SAID "OH,
IT'S NOT VET NICE AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW"
I TACTFULLY SAID "FORGET THAT IT'S A COCK
PRETEND YOU'RE AT THE SEA-SIDE AND IT'S A STICK OF ROCK "
AND SHE SAID..

CHORUS:            NO, NO, NO I DON'T LIKE THAT
I'LL NEVER, NEVER DO A DIRTY THING LIKE THAT. 
NO, NO, NO I DON'T LIKE THAT I'LL NEVER,
NEVER DO A DIRTY THINKG LIKE THAT.

WELL I FILLED HER UP WITH WHISKY AND I FILLED HER UP WITH GIN
BUT SHE STILL WOULDN'T DO IT 'CAUSE SHE SAID IT WAS A SIN
I EVEN HAD A BATH BUT THE ANSWER WAS THE SAME
SHE WOULDN'T DO THE THING WITH THE FUNNY FOREIGN NAME
'CAUSE SHE SAID..

CHORUS

WELL A MAN WITH A HAT CAME KNOCKING AT MY DOOR
SAID I'D WON THE POOLS, A MILLION DOLLARS OR MORE
WITH THE CHEQUE IN MY POCKET TO MY GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE I RAN
TO SEE IF SHE STILL WAS A VEGETARIAN
I ASKED HER TO REMEMBER WHAT A SILLY GIRL SHE'D BEEN
ABOUT THE SWORD SWALLOWING IN THE FUNNY MAGAZINE
I ASKED HER IF SHE'D REBUKE ME AND TREAT ME WITH DISDAIN
IF I MADE HER DO THE THING WITH THE FUNNY FOREIGN NAME
AND SHE SAID..

LAST CHORUS:    YES, YES, YES YOU KNOW I'LL DO THAT
YOU KNOW I ALWAYS LIKED TO DO A DIRTY THING LIKE THAT.  
YES, YES, YES YOU KNOW I'LL DO THAT
YOU KNOW I ALWAYS LIKED TO DO A DIRTY THING LIKE THAT.

Steward - Rude as Fuck:  We should all know by know Blue Harlot is a school teacher, and a very good one at that.  Well RaF thought seeing as he was so good, he would send his son to the school.  RaF went to pick his son up after the first day and could see BH in the playground pointing his finger at him.  RAF opened the window and could hear BH saying "if you carry on performing I will wipe that smile off your face!" Maybe RaF should have mentioned that his son has Downs Syndrome!!! BH class at school has animals to look after, there are some tadpoles, frogs and a bunny rabbit called Bugsy. Little Johnny wanted to know what would happen when Bugsy died :(  BH replied that they would make a wooden box, put Bugsy in it, take it outside, dig a hole in the ground, bury the box, add a cross and say a prayer, then return to the classroom have some jelly and custard, play some music and have balloons.  Little Johnny replied "can we kill the fucker now?" Blue Harlot was an officer in the British Army, and all officers get reported on by their Commanding Officer 3 times a year.  Here are some snippets of BH reports over the years; 1)  His men follow him everywhere out of curiosity.  2)  This officer will go far, the sooner the better.  3)  He is so dense that light bends round him!  4)  This officer is depriving a village of it's idiot!!  (All of these comments are true!!!!!).  Now time to take the piss out of the French - so all the French in, although RaF only wanted Assterix in!!! Why are all the avenues in France tree lined? So the Germans can march in the shade!  How do you recognise a French war veteran?  He has sunburnt armpits!  In a bar there was a French war hero, a peaceful muslim and the Loch Ness monster, which is the odd one out???  Loch Ness monster of course, RaF is sure he has seen one of those around!? RaF has recently started using Twitter, it's like legalised stalking really!    He is following the French Army on it, they are very good at 're tweeting!'  The French left the circle with faces like slapped arses - not sure if it was a lost in translation thing, or the fact that the GM translated for them and they knew exactly what RaF was saying!  Gorgeous also served in the British Army, and was stationed in Aden in the 1960's.  Three months into his tour the Medical Officer asked Gorgeous for some help, as he had a very rare blood type which was the same as an Arab Prince that needed an operation and blood transfusion.  If Gorgeous could donate an armful of blood the Arab Prince would buy him a BMW, a house and a yacht.  Gorgeous agreed (well wouldn't you!?) and the operation went ahead and the Prince recovered well.  About a month later the MO asked Gorgeous again if he could donate some blood, as the Prince needed another operation, again the Prince said he would buy Gorgeous a house in Capri.  Of course Gorgeous agreed and donated the blood, but after the operation Gorgeous only received an apple!!! Off he goes to speak with the Prince to ask why, and the Prince replied "I've got good Scottish blood in my veins now, so you can fuck off!" RaF visited BC at home recently, and there was a green thing chained up on his porch.  RaF asked what it was and BC replied "I can paint my nigger any colour I like!!" Great Steward spot.

On On

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