After his winging and moaning last week about the length of the run, Princess was given a ‘handicap’ before he started this week’s run.  Let’s hope he doesn’t vomit the beer back up part way round!?

GM thanked the Hares for a flat, uphill, downhill, with beautiful Russian & Thai arses to follow, it was almost perfect but there was no beer stop! Well done the Hares, and congratulations to Puppy Love as a Virgin Hare and Happy Birthday to Ape Man HBYC!! GM didn’t know whether to ice or congratulate Blue Harlot on hitting Assterix’s car today.  The circle said Assterix should be iced – just because and BH was congratulated.  Returners:  Cardinal Finger, Not Cleaver, Blind Mullet, Blast Off, Corporal Punishment, Kunt Foo, Google Ass and Jiggly Juggs.  Virgins:  Plenty of them today – 9 in the circle, but not the 2 that GM wanted to see – the Russians that had obviously heard the GM has a liking for boobs and didn’t want any of it – you don’t know where he has been girls ;) Although 2 of them were students of Blue Harlots – that could be interesting at registration on Monday morning!? They all enjoyed ice cold water with their beer – and the Hares even provided them with ‘cushions’ to support their knees – WTF!?!? Ejackulator and 15GY20 (not sure what the connection is here!?) An excellent time was had by all at Ejackulator’s party at the Expat last week.  15GY20 did a lovely powerpoint presentation with lots of different photos of Ejackulator through the years.  The first song to accompany it was Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion.  Jesus check out the words You were my strength, You were my voice, You were my eyes……… It was his birthday not his funeral!!! Thanks to Virgin My Arse who helped out, but it was 15GY20 that chose the music!!

Steward – Bullet Rash:  Princess, who was mincing well through the water today, thanked the Hares for a good run and he had no complaints this week..  But when asked how long the run was this week, about 54 burps, 4 farts and 1 follow through!  It is good to see Sucker back at the hash, he is trying to put some distance between him and his wife, he opened a restaurant and that didn’t work out well.  So wanting some peace and quiet at home, his wife was working hard. But she decided to go ‘independent’ and has now built an office outside the front of their house – so they are together 24/7 – doomed!!!! So Virgin My Arse is now chasing stewards for a few weeks – BR agreed to be a steward, but VMA must remind him!! Well apparently she did but via FB which he doesn’t use much!! So Julie Andrews and Princess were leading the pack (the handicap didn’t work too well then!) and at the bottom of the hill by the shacks, they could be found standing around and calling ‘Checking’ so the rest of the pack disperse to check, and these two walk 5 yards and find paper!! No wonder they were front runners!!! JA did look rather scared at the top of one of the hills, and BC reminded us why – he took an absolute pisser down this hill on a bike hash and lost lots of skin from his leg and arm!! Brought back happy memories for some, not so happy for him.  Virgin Breanna may just have got herself a hash name after today – there was a large muddy puddle which all the hashers were gently wading through and she just comes storming through the middle like a race horse covering herself and the waders in mud! There are sometimes that BR does look at Facebook, and this week Jiggly Juggs was fretting about having a couple of wisdom teeth out (yes I know JJ and wisdom don’t ever appear in the same sentence normally do they!?).  So off she goes to the dentist, all worked up like a big girls blouse, to be told that she has got to ‘go under’ and the dentist can’t do it until next week – so stand by for FB part 2.  Great Dick, Princess, Joy of Dick and one of the virgins were all in the same car, parked next to BR, and he just cannot believe these 2 aren’t gay.  They were moaning about the fact that they didn’t have enough shower water as the girls had changed their mind and wanted some! Jesus guys, can’t you smell as raw as most of the other hashers after a run – obviously not!? Great Steward spot.

Naa has a lovely pet dog – which just happens to be a Pit Bull – so BC reckons the best name for her is Clit Bull – she seemed non the wiser, but everybody else thought it was just perfect.  Run Offenses:  Not quite a run offense, but BH was taking shelter from the rain yesterday and happened to be in Tesco.  So who does he see out shopping by Great Dick and Princess, what were they buying – not sexy underwear for their ladies, but they were in the mens underwear section.  GD asks Princess “do you prefer Boxers or Y Fronts” Princess replied “I like Y Fronts and I like to see you in them as I can see your ‘arse cleavage’” TRUE STORY – and they are not gay apparently!? Joy of Dick thought this was quite funny – well if you are not getting one from him, BC and BH have offered their services (lucky you!?!?).  Well according to Jiggly Juggs she is a tri-athlete, so why on earth was she sending an SMS to No Hope “be honest with me, what kind of run is it today? Is it mountainous!?” Big girls blouse!? Lord Louis the Lip wasn’t sure if Cardinal Finger and ‘Alan Freeman’ were breaking a Rule 6 today, with CF hanging onto AF stick for dear life up the hill (walking stick that is).  At the top of the hill, they did ask LLtL to walk back down the hill and start again. LLtL apparently hadn’t shut up talking all the way round, and they wanted a break! SA Dick Gobbler nearly got run over by Assterix the cunt, he was like a high speed demon trying to turn his car round at the Laager.  After the run Oh Yea was offered some clean shower water from Assterix, and she went running over to him like a little puppy dog – she looks beautiful and sexy but has absolutely NO TASTE whatsoever.  Scud thought this run would be difficult when he saw No Hope laying paper from the bus as they entered the Laager.  JC wanted to know who was at the Little Expat last night ringing the bell, possibly Murkury, but he couldn’t remember and it certainly wasn’t Cardinal Finger as he couldn’t reach the rope to ring it.  Paper was there (JC wasn’t) and at 2am she stumbled into the house, ranting and raving, waking him and Spot up and she was absolutely shit faced.  All of a sudden JC could smell burning, so he rushed downstairs, passing Paper on her way up and it seems that she forgot she had torn chunks of fresh bread up and put them into the microwave, started it on full power indefinitely – and it was like a fire breathing dragon in the corner of the kitchen, flames everywhere.  So if any of you want handy hints on how to BBQ using a microwave come and see Madame Lash!! White Pointer was at the Aussie Bar in Kamala 3 weeks ago and the winner of the 10,000 baht bar tab made sure he bought everybody a drink.  So last night, the same guy No Hope won it again but as he is off to the UK on Monday, turned it down and somebody else won it.  He reckoned he couldn’t get it spent in 2 days!! I’m sure there would have been plenty to help you!! After the Tinmen (that’s not where the photo was taken was it GM!?) last week Blue Harlot gave GM a lift back to his bike.  They were talking and BH explained that he has been married previously.  His wife at the time was asked to leave Hard Rock Café in Las Vegas as she appeared to be underage.  She was actually 22, and they had got married when she was 20 – but in BH eyes she looked 13!!! Thai Connection in, and stand in Burmese male – Juan Palorista! So the police have been hunting a Burmese serial masturbator, the police went to a ‘well known’ road and found car after car full of Thai men having a wank!!! Jesus you lot, don’t you look after your men!?  Testicle Tom wants the name of the road and will give it a go after the hash. 

Numbered Runs: Got a small hat with the first one – Blue Harlot reckons that means it’s a wrinkly – so NO.  Congratulations SADG 300 runs.  We have another hat and it is for a female – BH reckons she will have tits down to her ankles – well you will have to wait and find out, as she wasn’t at the circle!! I wonder who it is………

Steward:  Gay Connection – Great Dick and Princess:  Scud was asked to quiet the circle down “shut the fuck up you lot!!” and the dog was just chilling out on the ice.  When they were asked to do a Steward spot they were honored, humbled and delighted.  They absolutely love the Saturday Hash – Jiggly Juggs reckons they love each other? GD and Princess love all the Saturday Hashers, they are a great bunch, and they have tried to fit in for a long time.  More like fitting into each other (Duke of Pukes words not mine!).  Princess has bought 2 different girls to this hash, he is trying so hard to get away from the ‘gay thing.’  So they got fit by training and running, they turned up to the hash, did 5 runs, became members, bought t-shirts, got names and even bought people along.  They wear their t-shirts and they sing songs, but they still don’t seem to fit in.  They drink beer, they sit on the ice, they tease people and they sit on the ice, they are front running bastards, they even won a race (no not a hash race) but NOBODY said congratulations – so they gave themselves a down down.  They are as fit as fuck, they are running hard, training, taking vitamins, shaving their legs, waxing their arses and chomping on power bars – but still they don’t fit in!! They must be making a mistake?? They have realized that the Saturday hash is full of old, slow, crusty farts, they are deviant losers NOT winners!!!  Talking of losers – all the Aussies in – you bunch of losers have a Kiwi coach and 3 Kiwi players and you still can’t win at Rugby (that’s why apparently!) Even bigger losers – the French cunts (see Aussies, at least you weren’t called cunts!) these guys out on the run, have got their heads in the air, they have no idea what they are doing or where they are going on the run, and Assterix is a short cutting bastard.  So they are onto something here – got to start losing, but not just that, they are just not old enough!!  So on goes the beer belly, socks, sandals, wearing your shorts like Simon Cowell (up round your nipples basically!), wrinkles, grey hair and walking funny with the aid of a stick (bit like Lord Louis the Lip and Rommel).  So now they are starting to fit in; crusty as fuck, a pair of fucking losers, and feeling mighty old “oh my knees GD is moaning!”.  All the over 65 in the circle “come on Gorgeous you crusty loser” – at this stage there were more IN the circle than forming the circle! They are SO close to fitting in (TT reckons he fits in a treat now they are not fast enough to run away from him!) they are old, crusty as fuck, losers and slow.  But the Saturday hash are a bunch of deviants.  Somebody that is missing from the circle and who is the Jedi Knight of deviants – Manneken Pis – THE BOOB LOVER!!! (Check out the photo on Facebook Hash Page if you want the proof!).  What an excellent steward spot.

FCOTW has to go to Who the Fuck is Alice:  He has recently returned from France where he did a Marathon, but being French they do it completely different from any normal Marathon.  So running 42km around Bordeaux, he was dressed up as a Roman Soldier.  Not only were there water stops, but being Bordeaux there were wine stops also.  Then at 36km there was an oyster stop, at 37km there was a T-bone steak stop, at 38km a cheese stop and at 39km an ice cream stop! From 20km WTFIA was running with an injured leg, but he finished all 42.195km of it.

Departers:  Singha (going back on the run apparently), No Hope and Great Dick.  FOYC!!  SADG has provided a new toilet seat for the hash to use as Hash Shit – it says Ferrari on it.  JA wanted to know where it said Hash Shit – well it says Ferrari isn’t that good enough??? GM got himself confused when he said nobody was holding Hash Shit at the moment – he was quickly reminded that Jungle Balls holds it for his last run as GM (see can’t get rid of it JB!!).  Run Master (Barbara Woodhouse) thought the run went well today, he had no gripe about it in fact he actually enjoyed the run with the paper being laid very well but the front runners could do with learning to shout better and louder!!!  All agreed Good Run.