Prior to the run starting the GM announced, on behalf of Nugget, that there would NO longer be any credit for buying beer - if you have NO money you get NO beer!!!!

The GM thought the walk wasn't a bad one, but it wasn't as good as last weeks!! All those that are 70 years and over; Slow Cunt, Disparu, Lord Louis the Lip, Nutcracker, Gorgeous and Sheepshagger and the newest member to the club Ejackulator (well he will be on Monday!) HBYC!! GM thanked Julie Andrews for last weeks On On at Baan Rim Klong to celebrate his 39th Birthday.  JA asked the GM if he had noticed that he had lost weight, GM replied NO.  Question is do the circle think JA has lost weight or is he still a fat cunt!! That would be the latter then!! GM thanked Ejackulator for putting on a party at the Expat after the run and a thank you to King Klong for putting on a free minibus from Expat to Kamala at 11pm.  No Hope thanked all the freeloaders who came along thinking they were getting a free t-shirt - they can get fucked!! Murkury, even though he isn't the Tinmen GM anymore, announced that all men are welcome to come along on Wednesday - they even allow faggots, so it's OK for you Princess. 

Returners:  Peanut, Sheapshagger, Swamp Thing and Blocker.  Virgins:  Half a dozen, including Thomas and Alex who all enjoyed ice cold beer with added ice cold water.  Visitors:  Slippery Bum, Christine and Nicola.  Visiting Hasher:  Slippery Bum, GM of the Iron Pussy who was iced and still couldn't think of a funny story.  So GM asked all IP to join her (not on the ice!) but the other day when the GM was swimming in the sea, he got thinking.  What did fish smell like before women started swimming??? He received lots of free down downs (and he didn't drink one of them!).  He did moan about the GM's hat getting very wet!! Pink Lady, and his pink shirt, were iced, fancy calling the GM a fucking nigger!!??

Run Offenses:  Major Dick Blue is either deaf or stupid, as completely ignored Jungle Balls when he called him in.  So MDB is sitting in his car before the run, a guy on a moped is driving towards him, MDB opens the car door, causing the guy to swerve straight into another guy on a bike coming in the other direction!!  That's certainly a nomination for FCOTW!! JB is on the walk behind Gorgeous and 15GY20, Gorgeous is saying to LLtL who do you think is more Gorgeous me or 15GY20 (no competition according to the circle!).  So lets have a name swap, Gorgeous looking rather young and fit today and 75GY80 is not so!! Blue Harlot asked 'Gorgeous' where is the blow job that you promised him!!?? Peanut set off late on the run, and went past Murkury at a great rate of knots, a whole man! Not so now, took a tumble down the hill and looks like he has come off a moped - no skin on shoulder, elbow and wrist! BC was impressed by Down Right Doable (Dirty!) and her collection of Imelda Marcos sunglasses.  The annoying cunt with the dog (Parasol Pussy apparently) got her hair caught up in the vines and was nearly on all fours - BC thought he was back in Virginia!! Pink Lady heard Kyle talking to Julie Andrews last week about how well he kept up with him all the way round on the run, but JA just beat him at the end.  The hash is NOT a race! No Hope was at the committee meeting yesterday and Jungle Balls announced he has a great idea for collecting money for the hash charity - he will get Once Weekly to dress in stilettos, a mini skirt and a boob tube and walk around the circle asking for money!!! Duuuhhh nobody wants to see Gandhi in a mini skirt, now Twice Nightly that is a different matter.  Julie Andrews called in Mind the Gap and Barf Wader (his wish list I wonder??) and Dandy La Root (maybe it is then!?).  At some stages of the run, it was quite difficult terrain, with plenty of roots and low hanging branches - so MtG and BW were giving JA plenty of head (no he isn't that lucky, they were just warning him about the trees!!).  DLR did offer him Balls, (wish list - yes!?) until JA realised there was a tree stump coming out of the ground, and DLR was just looking out for him (or his love spuds!?).  Lord Louis the Lip wanted to know out of JC and Paper who Spot the dog belonged too - Paper apparently.  Well she was iced for letting it shit near the circle - JC just stood behind her giggling (well at least it wasn't JC doing the shitting!).  Princess 'thanked' the Hares - NOT.  He was very disappointed that they didn't live up to the PH3 websites description of an hour long run, he was short changed as this run was only 45 minutes.  He was iced for insulting the hash - ungrateful bastard.  Jungle Balls reminded everybody that the GM announced last week that he was now single and back on the market.  Well JB knows the reason why - apparently he was in bed with his girlfriend and at 5am started calling out but called her by the wrong name.  He used the name of one of his employees - Juan Palorista - his new boyfriend!!??  A huge chorus of 'There's only Juan Palorista' from the circle.  GM iced JB and clarified a few things; He was sleeping alone as the girlfriend was unwanted and he did call out somebody else's name, and it was an employee - but was one of his waitresses!!

Steward - Singha:  Welcomed very loudly into the circle, Singha actually thought the GM was joking when he asked him!! Singha was totally unaware of the GM becoming single, until he read the scribe notes - yea somebody reads them :)))) Well it is a common custom with the Thai girls, they cut their hair when they are heart broken.  Well GM by the look of your hair cut, there is farting and tearing your arse and you definitely tore your arse! All the Aussies were in, as it is an auspicious day in the Aussie calendar it is finals day.  Does ANYBODY else understand AFL football??? It is only played in Oz and the only organised bit of the game was when the two teams ran out onto the paddock pitch and ran around in a big group, it was just like watching sheep finding a new piece of grass.  So the game was obviously invented by farm boys.  It was then complete chaos, threw the ball in the air, nobody wanted to touch it, and in a final bit of desperation, somebody decides to kick it into the crowd.  If the ref was lucky enough to see this, they got points.  Aussie Rules is a total Oxymoron, a bit like Gourmet Pies - Aussie Rules there weren't any!! For those that attend the hash regularly, it is not often that the hares don't manage to loose Ejackulator - but he never went out on his own, how did his co-hare manage to keep from loosing him?? Apparently Creature FTBL threatened No Hope, so that explains everything really.  Before the run, MtG and Singha were warming up for their respective exercises - MtG was extremely excited to show Singha her new condom, which was rather oversized.  As we all know Toad is poorly with adult Chicken Pox, which cause various swellings around the body - by the look of the condom the swelling must be in the right place!! Not sure if Toad has tried it for size yet, but when he does he MUST be careful of the zip.  MtG then had a glint in her eye and wet herself on the bus - just take care whoever sits in that spot on the bus.  Naked Gun has recently purchased a new water bottle, in the shape of a woman, from some shop called Anne Summers.  It is a sexy little number, you squeeze her bottom and suck on the tit (like most women apparently!!!???) - he must have lead a very sheltered childhood eh!? What a fucking good job as Steward.

The GM announced there was a Mismanagement committee meeting last night (JC didn't know anything about it - although there was an e-mail and it was on the PH3 website - question is does JC have a computer and does he know how to use it??).  So just a couple of important announcements:  Run 1388 on 13 Oct 12 is at Cape Panwa so the bus will be leaving 15 minutes earlier - please check on the PH3 website for bus times.  When you register please DO NOT just put your money on the desk and walk off.  Make sure you register correctly providing your hash number or name to the Registrars.  If you are not able to do this, you might find you are not registered at all and don't come moaning to the GM when your run stats are wrong!!  If there is a t-shirt run, the hash will sponsor 5000 baht towards the cost.  There is ONE condition that must be met, and that is NO advertising or publicity on the FRONT of the t-shirt - the front of the t-shirt must follow hash concept.  Advertising and sponsorship on the back or sleeves only.  Virgin My Arse is standing in as Steward Chaser while Minnie Mouse is away - you have been warned!! If you are a Hare, please check with the Hare Line and Run Masters before deciding on your route - there have been occasions where runs have interfered with runs already on the Hare Line.  Thanks for that Swollen Colon.  The AGPU will work slightly differently next year, preventing scumbags that never come to the hash and only want free t-shirt, food and beer.  To qualify for free entry into the AGPU you must have completed 12 runs from the date of the last AGPU.  If not, you can pay to come along.  A similar scheme will work for the hash ball - see the Notice on the front page of the PH3 Website for further details.

New Members:  Down Right Dirty, Pink Lady, Julerat and Claus.  Now Claus is a German Cunt, is a hamburger and likes Assterix. So there has to be a hash name in there somewhere? A big thank you to K Lung who allowed us to use the Laager site (Blue Harlot just wanted the hash to get K Lung pissed so he could have his daughter!!).  Numbered Runs:  500 for Scud (although he reckoned it was only 499 and threw the t-shirt back!!) so he was iced for that.  50 runs for Rude as Fuck, 50 runs for Always Wet and 25 runs for Tight Fit.  A HUGE cheer went up when Bullet Rash suggested YES to take it off and it was Virgin Hare t-shirts for Mind The Gap and Queen of Puke.  QoP had not problems, but must have had the biggest sports bra on ever - but the boys were happy anyway.   Blue Harlot was out in Cherntalay this week, and he was leaving the bar at about 1am, busy looking for a taxi.  Who did he see but Sucker jogging along the road.  Blue Harlot commented it was a bit late and Sucker replied that he couldn't sleep - BH said he wasn't talking about that you fat cunt!! SA Dick Gobbler was joined by all the Beautiful Thai Ladies and the White Bitches!  Every man in this world has been humiliated in the last 20 years.  In Thailand when a woman gets pissed off with a man, she chops his dick off and sends it off into the sky on the end of a balloon.  Last week, a white woman throws her new husband off the 25th floor but blames the builders for the standard of their building.

Steward - Scud:  Shut the fuck up!! Scud is fed up of the hash, people just don't pay attention - well he has his own 'Talker Stalker' model, who will patrol the circle - it worked there wasn't a noise to be heard.  Pink Lady stalked! Scud, along with Julie Andrews is a member of the joint national road building team.  A large hole, that was getting bigger and bigger was outside Scud's bar.  So one night, the pair of them took bets on which vehicle would crash, and award points for each vehicle.  Sad bastards - nothing crashed either! Each and every one of the French in - so last week they unveiled a new statue in Paris, celebrating their sporting heritage - a 6ft statue of Zinedine Zidane head-butting Marco Materazzi in the workd cup final - At least they are proud of something!! SADG stalked.  A big thank you to the Hares for liaising with the Land Owner and Thank You to Ejackulator for putting on a birthday do at the Expat.  Some strange things going on in Kamala, recently, Virgin My Arse posted on Facebook 6 1/2 inches 1 minute - Scud wasn't sure if this was her sex life with Dicksappointing or the level of the Klong behind Baan Rim Klong?  Scud happy to see Blocker back, hasn't seen him for a couple of years.  BC asked him if he had ever seen a salad? SADG and Testicle Tom stalked.  Princess Stalked, and TT stayed put while Princess was iced.  Princess when you have laid some runs, and actually contributed to the hash, your winging Kiwi attitude will be considered.  Saggy Cock and two visitors in to welcome the Northern Irish to the hash.  Singha was thanked for always paying attention to Scud's steward spots - well at least Singha can hear him! BC snatched victory from the jaws of defeat today - he went to the dentist and didn't need his tooth removing so made it to the hash on his bike. Slippery Bum stalked.  SB was working as a prostitute and visited the doctors - she was pregnant.  The doctor asked if she knew who the father was?  She replied "that's like asking if I eat a tin of baked beans do I know which one makes me fart!!"  Another excellent steward spot.  Thanks also to MtG who was the Talker Stalker model. 

FCOTW - big problem as only 1 French man left but it could have been any of the 4 that were here - so need to vote:  Major Dick Blue for his earlier car door opening accident causing incident.  U Been Stabbed - he got his name for not knowing how to deal with Thai Girls!  Assterix - Following the announcement about NO credit for Beer, the first thing he did on his return from the run was ask Nugget for credit!! She replied 'NO money NO beer' you have to pay - so he suggested she could give him a blow job!! Froggy - he had a fight this week with Barf Wader and he told her that if they finished she would not find another man like him again - well why the fuck would she!!?? They are all fucking cunts!!!  So 4 FCOTW this week. 

Departers:  Jungle Balls, Clitmas Pussy and Blocker.  FOYC!!! Run Masters and Hares in, apparently Barbara Woodhouse had a problem with the run today (funny that as I saw him on blue paper!? - that's probably whey he had a problem??).  Anyway, BW did say it was a good walk, and the paper was well laid.  All agreed Good Run.