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Hares in and we are here to celebrate Barf Wader's
birthday - HBYC!!! Julie Andrews iced, for gobbing off as normal
- he doesn't think the circle should start until he is in it!! Thanks
for the t-shirts, but who the fuck is Gold?? Apparently it is
Gorgeous, but the German t-shirt printer couldn't follow
instructions!!! The GM arrived early and Froggy was telling him that
Barf Wader had said to him "you don't need to buy me anything for my
birthday" (which woman doesn't say that - but they DON'T mean it!!) So
Froggy ignored her statement, and bought her a lovely gold colour watch
- "told you not to buy me a present - I hate Gold colour!!!" The
Austrian is still on the ice and is now joined by two Germans, Claus
and Doodlebug - so if there was a vote for German Cunt of the Week, who
would win out of this three - yep, you guessed it - our 'resident'
German Julie Andrews!!
Returners: Including Top Off, Disparau, Tulips, Porn Shop and too many others to bother! Visiting Hashers: Sue and John. Virgins: 3 from France who enjoyed their beer with ice cold water! One of the virgins, when he registered, was so proud to say that the trainers he had on had NEVER touched the ground before today!!! So he enjoyed his beer from them!! Barbara Woodhouse, before he got too pissed, announced that there are 7 runs between now and the end of December that need Hares - please support the Hash and volunteer, email the Run-masters via the PH3 website. There was a bit of a run in between the two Run masters thought it was going to be handbags at dawn, but it all calmed down!! Run Offenses: Julie Andrews used Tight Fit as a stand in for Singha. So Queen of Puke wanted to go to the Iron Pussy on Wednesday but Singha told her she couldn't have the day off - so the clever Golden Rain suggested they bar fine each other - and that's exactly what they did, and had a great time at the IP. Minnie Mouse watched last week as one of the hash members couldn't find their way out of the Laager site - only one way in and one way out - so out of Paper, Nugget and GM who was it - yep our illustrious GM!! He was going round in circles, for at least 20 minutes, Minnie Mouse was surprised to see the stupid cunt here this week!!! Jungle Balls overheard Assterix talking to the virgins he bought along today - he did the right thing in telling them that they should stay with experienced hashers and keep following the paper. He then went onto explain about checking and what that involves - he must have heard somebody else talking about that - as he has never checked in his life! Gorgeous is out laying paper, with Barbara Woodhouse, this morning and carrying the bag of paper. They come to the small water crossing, Gorgeous doesn't want to get wet, so tries to go along the bridge, using his stick to balance him - the stick goes all the way into the water and Gorgeous follows it - him and the paper pissed wet through - and all Barbara Woodhouse can do is laugh!!! JC was fast asleep in bed, after a busy day out on the water last Wednesday. The next thing he hears is fuck, cunt, fuck fuck and then the front door getting kicked. It is Paper returning from the Iron Pussy - so JC stays in bed out of the way. Paper comes storming upstairs and shouts "where the fuck is Spot?' Spot couldn't be found anywhere - so off they go searching around the estate - Spot is nowhere to be seen. Back at home, Paper is getting angrier by the minute, and it is all JCs fault!!! Still frantic, JC suggested that Paper look in the darkest corner of the living room under the sofa - and there was Spot, trembling and keeping well out of the way from a pissed up Paper!! GP Arse and Chicken George were invited to join their dogs in the circle, who were giving us a live sex show (the dogs not GPA and CG!!) worryingly both are male dogs, so more of a gay live sex show! Sir Wanda was awarded a 2nd 600 run t-shirt last week, because the first one he got several weeks back was too small!! So today he turns up in his 600 run t-shirt but yes you guessed it, it was the 'too small' one. Steward - King Klong: Hares were in, as not enough of them had been seen today! Froggy and Barf Wader were nowhere to be seen, too busy having sex apparently. There were some comments they wouldn't be long then! All the Iron Pussy in, good to see them shit faced again last Wednesday! Butt Plug and 15 Gets You 20 both work at the Expat, and when they found out KK was a steward this week, they were both on their best behavior. However on the run 15GY20 was barely walking up the hill, and as she got to the top she skipped over it like a 10 year old! Butt Plug did a lovely replay of it - although it made him look rather gay I must say! About 2/3 of the way through the run, there they all were busy checking (well most were just lazy and waited for others to do it - so it's not just Assterix then!?). 15GY20 did no checking at all, she just stood there shouting "waiting!" Not only were the IP shit faced last Wednesday, Chicken George was too - there he was yodeling like Julie Andrews - another rendition was done, and he was pretty good (but then I'm not an expert on yodeling!!). KK recently spent some time in Macau with Billy Boy, Murkury and Born Looser, to celebrate Bikini Buster's 50th Birthday. They were in a lovely 5* hotel, with staff rates from Bikini Buster, but early house of Night 1 KK was awoken to the shocking sound of karaoke, same on night 2 and on night 3 KK had had enough, so he ended up moving to a hotel around the corner and had some great nights sleep with no karaoke keeping him awake! Sir Wanda used to live her in Phuket, and it was quite a common site to see him pissed up asleep at any number of bars around Phuket. It was also quite common for somebody to be carrying a permanent marker pen too. But since he has been back he has yet to fall asleep and yet to be written on - there is still time though!! Minnie Mouse used to be a barmaid before she got married. One night there was a guy in the bar shouting his mouth off about how he could smell a piece of wood and tell you what it is. OK, so they blind fold him and off he goes, 1st piece Cedar, 2nd piece Teak and so on - so after about 6 different pieces the manager decided to have some fun with him. They stand Minnie Mouse in front of him, and he takes a sniff of her snatch, but he says that he is not sure and asks if he can smell the other side, so she turns round and he has a sniff of her arse!! After thinking about it he said "you can't fool me, that is a lavatory door off a tuna boat!! Great Finish to a good steward spot. GM asked all the British in, so we have all seen the photos of Prince Harry in the press the other week, of him naked in Las Vegas, and now he has been posted out to Afghanistan - Prince Phillip is getting rather smart nowadays, it is far less suspicious than a car crash!!!! Scribe thanked KK for repeating the story about the sleepless nights in Macau due to the karaoke bar, Billy Boy told this story last week - so all she has to do is copy and paste from last weeks scribe notes!! Many thanks to the GM of Christiane's Blue Residence for letting us use their Laager site, although Blue Harlot did comment that if it had been Big Fella he could have used the pool!! Murkury was iced as obviously it is not important to him to receive his numbered run t-shirt the other week. He was part way through the circle on his way home, and he left the engine running when he picked up the shirt, kindly gassing everybody in the process. Steward - Dr Fucking Jekyll: He looked like Father Christmas with his big sack of goodies. He asked that all the women facing him keep their legs shut as he can lip read. Here are some of the last words of famous people: King Harold - "watch that you might take somebody's eye out" Joan of Ark - "can somebody smell burning?" Mayor of Hiroshima - "what the fuck was that?" A guy he knew had a car crash, when the police arrived he wasn't hurt but they needed to take a breathalyzer test, but they found out the guy was dumb and he handed them a card saying he suffers with emphysema so has to avoid heavy breathing. So they take him to the police station for a blood test, again another card which says he is a hemophiliac and cannot give blood. So they tell him they are going to give him a urine test, and another card 'never take the piss out of a cripple!' The Aussies didn't do so well in the Olympics, but one of their best races was the 4 x 400m relay. They had been practicing in their very own stadium, with just the athletes and coaches there. As it was a boiling hot day, they were training stark naked. So the first handover went well, and the coach got excited when the second handover went even better, but it all went horribly wrong on the third handover when he didn't let go for 80m!!!! Now that is worth a Rosie drink if ever there was one!! To celebrate the Paralympics 2 Brits (Clitmas Pussy and Moonwalker) 2 Aussies (Always Wet and Virgin My Arse) and 2 Thais (Queen of Puke and Mind The Gap) all took part in a 3 legged race, carrying containers of ice water on their heads. Most of the circle enjoyed some of the ice water too!!! Needless to say the winners were Team GB. Although I'm sure DFJ enjoyed himself, when he was tying their legs together he had his head in Moonwalkers crutch and his head up Always Wet arse!!! Next onto a gurning competition - with Gorgeous (although he often looks like he is!?), Top Off, Jungle Balls and Ejackulator. They all had to chew half a lime and give it their best shot - there were shouts that the winner was Rosie!!! Although DFJ did show us how it should be done. Sir Wanda is not immortal, so just imagine the day that he is brown bread and on his way up to the pearly gates. When he arrives he sees a sign saying please ring for service. He looks up at the cloud, and a window opens, a black headed guy shouts out "what do you want" Sir Wanda replies "fuck it, just forget it" (I must apologies if I got any of this wrong!?!?) Two beers for DFJ one for the steward spot and one for the Rosie jokes! The bus people voted to stop off at Froggy's on the way back. FCOTW must go to Froggy, but as he wasn't there the only stand in that met the criteria of fat and ugly (and French of course) was Assterix. Does anybody know what the French do after winning a war? They shut down their Playstation. GM had two conversations with Froggy this week 1) being about women (BTW the GM is back on the market!) Froggy said he would never cheat on Barf Wader as he would never find anybody else that would find him attractive. 2) The t-shirts this week have an awful lot of yellow on them - Froggy wanted this as it matches the colour of his teeth! Departers: Sir Wanda, Rotary Wanker, and Deep Throat. Top Off was iced, after recently visiting Iceland, he wants to sit on the ice every week, to remind him of his trip there! Top Off thanked Wilma for ringing him while he was away, it was 5am and Top Off was woken up. Instead of Wilma hanging up when he was told, he continued to to have the full conversation (oh how lovely - those roaming charges must have added up!!). He also thanked Blue Harlot and Blast Off who have previously done it (please don't tell me they are the only phone calls you have had in the last 2 years!?). Barbara Woodhouse and Gorgeous in (BW and Froggy left to get the food ready) with JC as Run-master. Gorgeous described the run as viewerish - JC wanted to thank all the hares as it was an excellent run - well the walk was! All of those that did the full run agreed it was a Good Run, but fuck what the walkers thought of it!!! Good Run it was then!! On On
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