Just for Gorgeous - what a lovely walk, through the trees in the rubber plantations, but not sure what threes they were!  Gorgeous got an ant bite on his leg and Saint Blow Job was leading the pack!  

Hares, Popeye and White Pointer in, even before the run started they admitted it wasn't one of their best runs - well that is obvious as only half the pack are back!!! There was an announcement about the Iron Pussy, by Clitmas Pussy, but that fell on deaf ears considering there were only 4 rusties in the circle!! Returners:  Sir Bollox, who has been in Brunei and was desperate for a pork sandwich. Pink Sock in the US and WC Fields who has been lost in Patong!! Virgin:  Claus, the GM didn't bother asking where he was from it was quite obvious he was a German cunt! He enjoyed beer with added ice cold water, the song was sung in English to him (seeing as they won the war!).  Visiting Hashers:  John and Sue from Doha, who were intelligent enough to pass the test!  

Run Offenses:  Lord Louis the Lip was astonished to see the bus driving straight across the middle of the football pitch, with No Hope sat in the front seat doing nothing about it.  Well NH did tell the driver, but LLtL didn't hear that - he doesn't normally hear much actually! Julie Andrews thanked the hares for a nice flat run, only one complaint, the 17 roads that they had to cross, it is dangerous crossing roads here you know.  Swollen Colon was iced by White Pointer, two weeks ago WP was driving some friends up to the airport, and used the old airport road, he nearly turned off into a rubber plantation, seeing as there was a HHH sign which had been left by SC.  WP now iced, why the hell didn't you pick up the sign??? Fuck the hash it was raining.  Shaun, with the tight fitting pink top he won last week from Minnie Mouse, was one of the front runners, and when he got back, he told Swollen Colon that he wasn't going to drink, SC said he would give him 15 minutes!! About 14 mins and 54 seconds later, yep you guessed it, Shaun could be seen purchasing his first beer from Nugget.  Julie Andrews really knows how to treat his fellow hashers, No Hope saw Prince Charles FT ask JA if he had seen paper, JA replied "if we had seen paper we wouldn't tell you you cunt!"  Blue Harlot called in JA as the resident German, so when BH arrived at the Laager, he could see the three Germans standing around Lucky Leks German Staff car, and if you listened carefully you could hear their heels clicking in salute! It brought back some wonderful memories for them all.  Shagarazzi was late turning up, and SC advised him if he wanted to catch up the runners, to take a different route.  "No I am here to run" he replied, bet he wished he hadn't it took him 90 odd minutes to finish the run.  SA Dick Gobbler had a great run as he was closely following Twice Nightly and Minnie Mouse, so had the perfect view.  That was until Swollen Colon wanted a piece of the action, SC told SADG not to go the way the girls were going as it was all boggy marshland, so he took the alternative route, which ended up adding 20 minutes onto the run, and all SADG had to look at was SC arse!!! Chicken George and Dr Fucking Jekyll wanted all the runners in - they took off early to walk the run, and NOT ONE runner passed them - looks like you two took SC old KK route me thinks?? Assterix, knows how to be courteous to other hashers when out on the run, he decided to take a piss, and instead of going behind a tree, he just stands on the side of the road grinning and pissing like a dirty old man - apparently it wasn't that nice to look at either!!! WC Fields feels that The Arsonist has had a 'bum' deal with his name.  What with the investigation going on into the burning down of Kamala Beergarden, it doesn't seem appropriate  have such an incriminating name.  However the poor alternatives didn't go down well with the circle, so The Arsonist it is!!  Swollen Colon was iced by the GM, so just because he was a hare last week, he thinks he doesn't have to register! Just thinks he can do run offenses, get about 10 down downs for free and then decide to pay, because he has got his monies worth - typical Jock!!! Scribe in, two down downs as she will need them to understand the first steward ..... 

Steward - Lucky Lek:  Dambuster, Tiger (or did he say Thai Girls) well they all came in anyway.  Dambuster enjoyed his birthday last week, can sure shake a mean move on the dance floor, just a shame his 'third leg' couldn't live up to all those beautiful women that were with him.  Sir Wanda was extremely handsome when he was younger, had a gorgeous body and was a fit as anything.  He was in Nana Plaza where he met a beautiful Thai girl, who he had a few drinks with.  They ended up returning to his hotel room for another few drinks.  He took off his shirt and on his chest he had a tattoo 'Leebok' (actually Reebok) and on his back was Nike - wow he must be fit to have his sponsors tattooed on him.  He dropped his pants, and on his dick he had AIDS tattooed on it - "Oh NO she said, I ain't going anywhere near that" "don't worry, you have nothing to worry about, it is my other sponsor 'Adidas'" Saint Blow Job, it is important to follow these rules for a happy life; 1.  Have a woman at home who cooks, cleans up and has a job.  2.  Have a woman that can make you laugh.  3.  Have a woman you can trust and doesn't lie to you.  4.  Have a woman who is good in bed and likes to be with you.  Final and most important point 5.  None of these women ever meet each other! Buff Waiter (Barf Wader) What is the difference between an American guy and an African guy - about 4 inches!! Which is why the girls in Soi Bangla charge the African guys twice as much.  Georgia (Gorgeous) had to translate, BBC have announced that the Paralympic athletes are the finest ever assembled in London! King Klong and Woodpecker have a child, which is now 10 years old.  He wanted to know where babies come from, not sure how most of it went, but it ended up that Mom produced the God side and Dad produced the Monkey side! BB Frind (WC Fields) started preaching some shite, and I along with the rest of the circle begged Lucky Lek to take over again! WC Fields met and fell in love with a girl called Wendy, he wanted to marry her, but she would only say yes if he had her name tattooed on his penis, which he duly did.  They went to Jamaica on honeymoon  and he went into the mens toilet, where there were a couple of locals at the urinals.  One of them also had a tattoo on his penis, and it also said Wendy.  "is that the name of your wife too" asked WCF.  "Na Man it says Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day" Brum Catcher (Bum Scraper) LL apologised for his poor English, his Mom is Thai and his Dad Chinese, but he knows enough English to get women into bed!! Then there was something about BS having a pee pee!!??  John the Engineer went to work overseas, while he was away his wife had a baby and she sent him an SMS "your circuit design came out" and he replied "with antenna or without antenna!"  Good Steward spot (and thanks very much for the notes).   

Last week there was a party for Dambuster after the hash, there were two guys singing one was a Thai faggot and one looked like Elvis.  Dambuster said to GM "20 years ago I looked just like Elvis" GM replied "now you just look like Elvis 20 years after he died!"  All was going well, until Minnie Mouse took the microphone and told the Thai Faggot to fuck off as they had a better singer.  Juan Palorista was iced, basically he cleared the room in 20 minutes flat!! Fungus enjoyed a beer out of his new shoes! New Member:  Nutawon.  An asset to the hash according to the GM and others.   

Steward - Jungle Balls:  So last week we heard that SC had fucked up this weeks hash because he used multi coloured paper on the Kamala Koma run.  This week the hares used Pink and Blue paper to avoid any confusion - well now they have fucked up next weeks bike hash!!  A numbered run shirt, should it be take it off.... Scribe: No, SA Dick Gobbler: Yes, Sir Bollox: Yes - congratulations GM 100 runs.  There were calls to keep it on, but GM was having none of it - off it came!! Gorgeous wore the GM hat and jacket - as if he hadn't fucked it up enough before!  Scribe got her 50 run t-shirt this week too.  Lucky Lek was asking Lord Louis the Lip what peoples hash names were - which is why he fucked up so many times with the names! JB overheard Cunning Runt asking Naked Gun how many women he has had sex with - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, you, 9, 10!!! Somebody did explain to CR that it was a joke!! JB and Clitmas Pussy enjoyed a lovely meal at Flip Flop house last night, and Creature FTBL and Ejackulator were also there.  Creature admitted that she had a hash name prior to Creature.  It was Hello Dolly (there was a chorus of said song!).  Ejackulator was describing an event that took place, and ended it BN - Before Noi.  So most of her life consisted of BJ - Before Jack!! Maybe her name should be Hello Dolly BJ?? It was a wonderful meal, cooked by Flip Flop and everybody made an effort to dress nicely.  Ejackulator wanted a dip in the pool, but hadn't bought his swimming trunks along, so just stripped down to his white budgie smugglers - they subsequently went transparent, and the rest of the group had to endure him sat at the dinner table showing his meat and two veg through his transparent pants! Creature was awarded a pair of black budgie smugglers for Ejackulator (who wasn't back yet) there were plenty of calls for take them off!!! JB loves Cartoons sense of humour and the way he treats his wife, Minnie Mouse, who showed us how she travels too and from the hash (in the boot of the car) as the dogs have the back seat!! The GM thinks he is in charge of the hash (JB actually called him a cunt, think he might live to regret that!!) but actually there is a hostile take over by Double Down Down, she is the Scribe, Hash Cash, and now the Webmaster for 2 months!! Gorgeous was the stand in Paralympian JB has been watching the training regime, and it looks pretty dangerous to him! Rosie moment...... Did you know that 1 in 100 men can suck their own cocks - visitor Shaun, has offered to help out the other 99!!!  Sue and John were watching the olympics and John asked why Sue was so happy when Team GB won a bronze medal, as it is worthless really.  No she said, it means they are the 3rd best in the world and should be happy.  Well you didn't say that when I told you you were my 3rd best girlfriend!! Rosie moment ......  Born Looser was a good golfer, but was having problems seeing the ball, Kewpie suggested he ask Lord Louis the Lip to join him as he has perfect eye sight.  So off they went for a round of golf, at the first hole, BL hits a great shot, and he asks LLtL "did you see it?" "yes I did" replied LLtL, "Where is it then?" "I don't know I can't remember!"  Good steward spot. 

JB iced, you would think after one year of being GM you don't call the GM a cunt! No Hope was iced, for what I don't know, but who cares?? All the Welsh in, Jungle Balls and John.  Why, well Belgium won their first football match in 4 years!!! SADG got a bit confused, and while they were singing, he asked Puppy Shit who they beat!! Swollen Colon has lived in Africa - "what does a gay African eat?" Nothing like the rest of them!! Once Weekly has once again had to clarify things with the owners of Mosquito Lake! From now on, we can just go there and use the Laager site, no need to ask permission.  Many thanks for resolving this again.  FCOTW - Major Dick Blue (who iced himself) went out last week, came home very drunk and went to sleep in bed next to his wife.  The next thing he knows he wakes up at the gates of pearl (pearly gates!) and St Peter tells him he is dead, you had a heart attack.  The only way you can go back is as a chicken, and St Peter arranged for it to be at a farm near his wife's house.  So there he is, full of feathers at the farm, and the local rooster asks how he is getting on.  Well I'm OK but feel a bit uncomfortable inside.  That is because you are ovulating and you just need to relax to lay an egg.  So relax he does, and out pops the egg, next day exactly the same, the egg pops out.  Just about to lay the 3rd egg and whack his wife smacks him round the head and shouts "stop shitting in the bed" sounds just like SA Dick Gobbler!!    Departers:  Lucky Lek. 

Barbara Woodhouse just back in time to do his Run Master spot.  BW thought this would be a good run, and there he was following Pink paper as instructed, a trail of 1km paper and nothing, then another trail of 1/2km and still nothing - that is called checking BW.  So why is everybody else in and you weren't! After 111 hares far better than Swollen Colon who claimed to be the greatest hare after 25!!! Jungle Balls joined the debate and reckoned it was hash shit for SC as he caused the fuck up.  Then Sir Wanda said that he was walking the run, and BW came running past him, with SW going right (on paper) and BW going left (not on paper!!).  Well after some debate, GM confirmed GOOD Run and closed the circle.  Now, there was some further debate, mainly from Jungle Balls (who will do anything to get rid of hash shit!) that it was hash shit, well GM said it was Good Run - so Good Run it is!!!