GM thought the run was a bit long (more than can be said for the walk!), it was that long that there was almost no circle!! So Puppy Shit and Dambuster are celebrating their birthday today - HBYC!!!  A special birthday cake for Dambuster was bought into the circle by Barf Wader - and it was delicious - well chocolate is isn't it!?

Swollen Colon iced, the whole circle copped a view of his hairy spotty arse - don't think he has heard of clearasil or any other brand of bacterial wash for spots!!! He was iced for, yep you guessed it, NOT registering again!!! Vacant Plot replaced SC on the ice, apparently he told the current GM that he couldn't be any worse than the previous GM!! Jungle Balls handed him American Budweiser to drink out of the police piss!! Murkury couldn't get into the circle to do his steward spot Tinman announcement because of all non ex-GM's sitting in chairs!! GM announced that there was free red wine and you would be served by a nice little Thai girl (did you notice that those that bought the cheap shit wine that tasted like vinegar got stuck into the most expensive wine!?).   

Returners:  Vacant Plot, Vertical Limit, Ice Arse, Big Bollox and GP Arse.  Jungle Balls wanted all the Aussies in, so who wasn't at last weeks hash because they were watching the rugby (funny enough NOT ONE OF THEM admitted to watching it!).  Well apparently Australia played New Zealand and it was a close run game - NZ won 22 - 0 (yes that is a big fat ZERO!).  Apparently the Rugby Union, Rugby League and Cricket Federations of Australia have signed a new TV deal, and all Australian sporting victories are now going to be shown on the History Channel.  Froggy was iced, when it is windy and raining he has the biggest umbrella, which normally blows away and damages the closest parked car.  This week when it is blisteringly hot, he leaves the umbrella in the car and sets up registrations as far away as possible (under cover!) so half the circle couldn't even find him to register! Virgins: Rae, Dawn and 3 fit looking guys.  They all enjoyed beer on their knees with added iced water (kneeling on concrete couldn't have been that comfortable!?).  Actually Dawn isn't a virgin, she has a hash name - Down Right Dirty - although Blue Harlot thought it probably wasn't her hash name and she just was! In your drams Blue Harlot! Visitors:  One guy - who we shall call Unknown (as that was written on the registration sheet!).   

Run Offenses:  There was calls for the Thai kids to be iced (I agreed - noisy buggers at times!) White Pointer iced Swollen Colon who was joined in the circle by all those at KK.  They are all a bunch of shits, for following the trail that SC laid for the KK - he used Multi Coloured paper and his trail went right through the middle of next weeks Saturday run.  Jesus SC don't you ever check the hare line?? Or don't you give a shit - me thinks it is likely the latter.  So if it is a shit run next week - blame the bastard that is SC.  Blue Harlot was on the run, somebody was leading the pack, closely followed by Great Dick and then BH.  BH asked GD who was leading, it is Goat Boy - BH was very surprised to know that he was even at the hash, are you sure GD?  Yes, he is Australian ........ but it wasn't Goat Boy it was Billy Boy - Do you fuck goats BB?? Sir Wanda was 3/4 of his way round the run and KK caught him up and said I bet you haven't run a step of this run!!  So why does KK try and convince himself he is a front runner when he can barely keep up with a walker on the run!? This was more of a courtesy offense - Butt Plug and Puppy Shit, did you tell anybody last week you weren't going home on the bus - Puppy Shit hadn't bothered which is why the bus was delayed leaving.  Bloody tell somebody if you are not catching the bus back (and preferably somebody that isn't shit faced and remembers you are not on the bus!!).  Butt Plug was confused as to why he was there - well you gave him a lift home!! Further to that courtesy offense, if you are on the bus, don't piss about too long after the circle has finished - you may miss the bus one day and will have to make your own way home!!!   Princess reckons that Manneken Pis is the slowest running GM ever to be on the hash.  He reckons the GM also looks like Frodo from Lord of the Rings, poor bastards shoes are falling to bits and looks like his clothes are from the jumble sale!!  Wow, how to be disrespectful in one easy move - well it will be a cheap night for him, with plenty of beer (I would have given him water if it was me!).  White Pointer was delighted to see Creature FTBL getting 'double ended' before the circle started - she did look confused, because it wasn't even her, it was Jiggly Juggs - and boy was she happy to be a Creature lookalike.  There was a reenactment of said 'double ender' and yep, the circle reckoned she was the spitting image of Creature.  Princess noticed that Rae (virgin) had a razor cut on her leg, Princess had a small cut on his leg (but not from a razor apparently) so he knew how much that small cut hurt - so he mentioned to Rae that her cut must have been killing her - Great Dick also joined in the conversation, with a large shaving cut down his shin, now that really hurt!! So Great Dick shaves, or does he wax?? GM commented that with Princess 'coming out' or not so much nowadays - he noticed that on the Bike Hash that Princess and Great Dick were sharing a tent, and spent quite a bit of time in it, and prattling away like two bitches!! So GM reckons he is more GAY Dick than Great Dick - so name change it is!? No Hope noticed on the run that Princess runs like a gimp and runs from the knee down - NH did give us an example, but I think he has done himself a permanent injury!?  

Steward - Minnie Mouse:  Now I must apologies here, for the next 20 minutes or so, if you could have seen the look on my face, you would have known I had no fucking idea what was being said most of the time!! I knew I was onto a looser when the first words out of Minnie Mouse's mouth were "solly I have lost my notes!!" oh no, that means she is going to ad-lib :(  She thanked all those that bought wine for Dambuster and those that made the food, thus making him a very happy man.   All those involved were invited in for a down down, and MM asked the GM if it was OK as lots of beer involved - GM couldn't give a shit it's not his money (well at least she asked!).  All women in, yes that includes Princess and Testicle Tom, along with Dambuster on the ice.  Princess dressed for the occasion and TT had some delightful red lipstick on - really suits his skin tone! Dambuster also had his hair dyed - a lovely chocolate brown shade! There was plenty of grinding and kissing with Dambuster and that was just from Princess and TT! Thanks to Mind The Gap, Paper and Twice Nightly for wearing their sexiest outfits for Dambuster.  MtG didn't like wearing her dress as she didn't have enough (or any for that matter) silicone to fill it! MM loaned Paper one of her dresses, which Paper had adapted, and she had asked MM not to take it back to its original form as JC is having problems with his heart and this may tip him over the edge? MM told Paper to fuck it, shock JC to death and then spend his money!! God that woman is ruthless!! TN was going to just wear a couple of stickers over her nipples, but Once Weekly pointed out she should really wear a hash shirt - which she did and it was adapted to suit her body!! There was also some 'cheap charlie' from the local restaurant where a party was being held for Dambuster, Paper and MM paid for the live band, and cheap charlie said there would be happy hour prices from 6-8pm - jesus they might just get one round in by the time they get there!! MM then got SC, a Virgin and Assterix, although he spat the dummy when she tried to put a down down on his back and then for him to do press-ups - he could have won FCOTW the way he was.  Anyway, the virgin showed SC how it should be done!! He won a lovely pink hash shirt - which fitted where it touched (think MM would like to have touched too!?).  MM wanted to know if any of the guys in the circle dreamt about her?? She also wanted to know if any of them thought of her when they had sex with their wives - Blue Harlot did, but only to stop him coming too quickly! Anyway Dambuster is the lucky guy tonight who is taking Minnie Mouse to bed with him - well not our MM that is - a lovely 100 baht light up MM on the end of a stick!!!!!! MM did say that Dambuster was old enough to be her father, and isn't her type anyway!!!  A good steward spot. 

Next up was Lucky Lek, now reading back I didn't do too bad with MM, it was LL that gave me the problems!!! Anyway Fungus, Ejackulator and Dambuster in the circle - and something about the fence needing repair at the White House!!!! Anyway it seems that Dambuster tried to rip of Obama (nothing new there!?).  Minnie Mouse reckons LL needs to learn English for next week as he is a steward (Note:  Hash Scribe needs a willing volunteer as she won't be there!!).  Ejackulator was iced, he has come back from America with a new fancy GPS watch, although he doesn't know how it works and asked the GM to help him out as the instructions are in English!!! Dumb Yank!! Jorg who was our new member last week, loves to come into the circle to get any free beer that he can.  Well BH has an idea for a name - he is German, so has a strong element of being a cunt, he is always in the wrong place at the wrong time, and the Germans had that excellent piece of machinery that was V2 Flying Bomb (actually BH it was the V1 flying Bomb according to google - call yourself a teacher!?).  So our new member is now Doodlebug.  King Klong was awarded his 1100 baseball cap, Sir Wanda was awarded ANOTHER 600 run t-shirt as the other one was too small for the fat bastard!! Congratulations to Murkury (aka Boring Cunt - not my words!) on 500 runs.  Queen of Puke is certainly living up to her name, after the Kamala Koma on Tuesday, she drove home with a friend, and fell of the bike!! Got to her house and just managed to get to the toilet to throw up, and then slept all night hugging the toilet!  

Steward - Billy Boy:  Thanked the hares for a good run.  Minnie Mouse couldn't find her notes earlier as she had wiped her arse with them!! Born Looser was in Macau to celebrate his birthday with Kewpie, Big Bollox, Fish Balls, King Klong, Woodpecker, Billy Boy, Bum Scraper and Murkury.  The girls wanted to go shopping in HK so BL wanted to make sure they had got their travel sick tablets - no worries Kewpie said, I am still going my brian can't change it's mind!! So they boys hoped they had found a bar that was selling beer a lot cheaper than anywhere else - after 18 pints they asked for the bill, and result it was cheaper!! BL rang and said he had the most boring day of his life, nothing was bought and he had lost his daughter!! King Klong thought he had got a great deal with the hotel room, but he was so pissed off after 2 nights of Karaoke (going on until about 8am!!).  So he decided to change hotels, and guess what - the Karoke stopped and a good night sleep was had by all!! Brett was asked to bring his wife and dog in (hope he could tell the difference), the dog being a Pit Bull Puppy.  So what have you called the puppy Brett - DAISY!!!!! - all down to the wife apparently - yea right!!! Big Bollox is visiting Phuket and he and Fish Balls are staying at Born Loosers house.  BB has a lovely brand new car, still with the red plates on.  Kewpie and FB wanted to go shopping, so Kewpie decides to drive, sticks the car into reverse and finds..... the left wing of BB new car (obviously not used to having another car parked there!?).  Blue Harlot paid extra for his seat today, he has got a great view, his nose is level with Mind The Gaps arse!! GM wanted to show the circle the height difference between Vertical Limit and Brett.  Billy Boy was out on the run with Once Weekly and there is a route to the right and one up the hill, BB is convinced he is going the right way (not up the hill) but OW reckons it is up the hill, so off he goes, along with most of the pack and yep you guessed it - up hill was a falsie.  Not only did OW take that he also went the wrong way when he came down the hill!! Hash Flash and Minnie Mouse iced for being annoying cunts and making so much noise arranging and taking photos - BB was quite for you MM!!! Double Down Down was talking to Virgin My Arse about the big fella that was knocking out the ZZZZs - Was he Australian, was he German, or was he from Wherever!!! He is Swedish in case anyone gives a shit?

GM asked Rae if she had implants? Or if she had a cock? She answered NO to both questions, what the fuck are you up to Princess? Juan Palorista is turning into a true hasher, sitting on the grass and telling 15 Gets You 20 to go and get him some food!!   FCOTW goes to Froggy.  GM met Froggy many years ago, when Froggy decided to take a bike ride into Belgium, and stopped at the gas station that GM worked at.  Froggy wanted to show MP how big and powerful the French are, so tells MP to fill the bike up, check the tyres, clean the fly shield and even the handlebars.  Froggy is laughing at how easy it was to show his superiority, pays and goes to fuck off - but MP slapped him hard, and Froggy stops laughing - "why did you do that" he asks, "because you didn't shut the door properly!"  Departers:  Billy Boy, Big Bollox and Vertical Limit - FOYC.  Hares and Run Master(s) in JC arrived late (nothing new there then!) Minnie Mouse warned JC to stay on the flat as the hill could kill him off (and Paper could spend all his money on her friends!) - JC ended up on the down trail around the lake - he will never listen to that bitch again! There were calls for Hash Shit, but eventually (I think the GM called it in the end!!) Good Run!!