I wonder if the new GM will keep the circles to one hour, or are you guys going to have to read War and Peace as usual, lets see......  Before the circle started the Birthday Boy, JC, in to a resounding chorus of HBYC - well done, you just about made it to this one! He was offered a chair, "I don't need a chair, I need a beer!!"  A cake was presented to him, with candles on it, although there were shouts of "Don't blow too hard, you will pass out!"  Being the good hasher that he is, to help us all help celebrate - 20 baht beers :)  The GM thanked the hares, he thought it was a good run, but lets see what happens later - now fuck off JC and lie down!

All the ex GMs in, GM looking forward to joining this motley crew in a years time.  All mismanagement in, although GM only bothered about Mind the Gap, who blew well today, apparently and Pole Position not being there!! Anyway, if you don't like what the GM does, complain to anyone of this lot!  So this is Manneken Pis first circle, so in with Jungle Balls and Minnie Mouse (Pole Position replacement).  JB iced - because the GM can! So last month, the GM was getting cold feet about becoming GM, well he is a Belgium cunt (his words not mine) and he isn't really that popular - funnily nobody contradicted this statement! Since he joined the PH3 there have been 2 GMs, the first Minnie Mouse, she had NO problems being popular, sometimes her boobs looked that heavy he wanted to help carry them! Then there was Jungle Balls, his balls looked heav......... anyway he never cared if he was popular or not, he was just a dictator!  GM was introduced to the hash by a French man, he thought a good idea would be to tell people he could also speak Dutch, he got iced for that!  Froggy iced, because on the Bike Hash, GM still didn't have a name, so Froggy suggested that as he was from Brussels he should be named after a little Belgium boy with a tiny dick - now everybody just asks him if his dick is really that tiny? Julie Andrews iced for gobbing off - now there is a surprise!  GM then thought of something that would make him popular, bring in 50 baht beers, too late Jungle Balls beat him to it - so JB was iced for that.  If you hadn't already noticed, it has been  50 baht beers for the last 3 weeks, and it will stay that way PH3 will NOT sponsor any 40, 30 or 20 baht beers. The only thing that will make him popular as GM is show the circle that week after week the French are a bunch of cunts, he will need more than a year for that!  The French pack in, there were about 15 of them, and even then they wouldn't shut up! So how does the GM know they are a bunch of cunts, because he told us!! Jungle Balls tried to get the French to sing the Down Down song at the AGPU, he didn't succeed!! So GM thought he would translate the song into French, and lets see how they get on singing that (can they read??).  Their attempt at the French version was shocking, in fact it was worse than the Eurovision contest.  Jungle Balls was showing off trying to sing in French, was told to shut up and sing in English, but as he is Welsh, he wasn't having any of it.  Assterix did try, but his arms were too short to read the song sheet! Barf Wader offered to be the Police Piss and shut the French up - I wonder if she will actually shut up for the whole of the circle!?  

Returners:  Big Bollox, WC Fields, Kamala Toe Licker, Puppy Shit, Lobster, White Pointer, Mommy and Belle.  Puppy Shit, Mommy, Belle and 15 Gets You 20 all have new shoes, and yet again Sir Wanda offers to help 15 GY 20 out!! No he offered to drink out of her shoes, and then proceeded to lick them - yuk!!  Apparently he has licked worse!? Virgins:  Christine (another French cunt!), Brad (Septic Tank) and Nui.  Pole position did her job well of bending over, which the GM didn't want to do.  The virgins all enjoyed ice cold water with their beer whilst on their knees.  Visiting Hashers:  Stiff Fanny and Flakey from Spain, where they have 5 legged donkeys apparently? Froggy iced again for gobbing off again - he will get the message eventually.  Stiff Fanny is the GM of her hash, so she was asked to make the circle laugh, which she did quite well by giving Froggy a beer shampoo! Now somebody that wanted to be in the circle before all the run offenses (he would be boring if he was after them!!!???): 

Steward - Julie Andrews:  Hares in, No Hope nearly had to carry JC in, but he was on the phone to his cardiologist! Apart from running in this area 20 times in the last 3-4 weeks it wasn't bad.  Had to pick JC up in the bus as he was virtually collapsing.  While he was on the bus, Singha commented that JC normally only falls into a coma after 20 Heinekens? Great Dick has given up the fags for a year now, well done you.  But unfortunately since starting the PH3 and the Bike Hash he now has more fags than he knows what to do with, Princess and Testicle Tom can't leave him alone.  Jungle Balls was iced, it is payback for all the times JA was iced during the last year, apparently it worked out to 1 1/2 hours sat on the ice (well shut up then JA!!), unfortunately his steward spot is not that long (thank the lord).  Some of the Thai Pooying in Kamala, including Mind the Gap and 20 Baht Bar Fine are practicing for the hash, they can be seen running along the beach at 6am - although most of the circle thought they were running home!  Good news is, that not only are they practicing their running, they can be seen most evenings and some afternoons practicing drinking too! Kamala Toe Licker has bought himself a couple of new chairs, one of which WC Fields was using, they both enjoyed a drink out of them!.  JA wanted to ice the GM, so over to Jungle Balls as his whipping girl - the GM didn't know last week that JA was going to be his first steward and he was giving him loads of shit! According to a reliable witness, the words reliable and Swollen Colon just don't go together do they?! When JA called On On today the GM shouted back "Shut the fuck up you sorry Austrian cunt!" - well that's not abuse is it JA?? Last Saturday, Singha heard a load of shit that was being thrown JA way, when asked in the circle he replied "Yes it is a shit hole!" (wrong punch line Singha!).  At the AGPU Butt Plug apparently heard loads of shit, but when it came to the crunch BP heard fuck all! Everybody sang slower so Jungle Balls stayed on the ice for longer - subtitles were needed for Singha.  When JB left the ice, he asked for some help from Princess - quick while its numb!?!? JA iced by the GM for a decent steward spot - the GM also warned him that he WILL beat the 1 1/2 hr on the ice this year!  

GM made a couple of announcements; Lobster lost his prescription glasses at the AGPU - who the fuck has got them? Wiggli Wurm iced, firstly, apparently he doesn't know if he is French or Aussie - takes his pick when each country is called into the circle! Secondly he didn't register his wonderful daughter, Sweeti Wurm and his wife Giggli Wurm - apparently he did - but there was certainly an indignant look given to the GM - not sure if that was the French or the Aussie coming out of him!?  

Run Offenses:  Not Cleaver thanked the GM for doing a great job so far, better than the last one.  He did start out walking with Jungle Balls, but when he tried to speak to him, he just told him to fuck off and went stomping off in a vile mood.  Not sure what his problem was, but NC saw JB do exactly the same to somebody else on the walk - then he realised what the problem was - he just just an ordinary hasher - the same as everybody else (apart from Manneken Pis!) - oh how the mighty fall.  Barf Wader iced Jungle Balls, normally BW will do the run, but today decided to do the walk, as she steamed past JB he shouted "you are on the walk, what are you doing here?" No Hope was iced for calling the GM 'Ollie' it is either GM or Manneken Pis - nothing else, NH said it was the only way to get his attention? When NH was laying the paper, JC took a turn and wasn't feeling too great at all, but he insisted on carrying on and finish laying the paper - a true hasher.  Julie Andrews was out on the run and there was a part where there was loads of chopped down bamboo - JA was running and there was Princess taking a breather and appearing to be in some pain. He had taken quite a nasty groin injury from said bamboo - he was quite happy to show us all and even gave a second showing for Clitmas Pussy and Moonwalker - think hash flash got in there again just in case she missed it first time.  From a distance it looked like he had waxed - did he??? Virgin My Arse iced by JA for giving him a beer shampoo last week - so he returned the favour! Froggy wanted 5 English in, now this proved quite difficult, in the end it was Chicken George, Dr Fucking Jekyll, Not Cleaver, King Klong and Murkury.  After all that Froggy just wanted to congratulate the English on their first ever winner of the Tour de France.  Swollen Colon thanked Mind the Gap for doing a stirling blow job on the run today - she is a great hash horn.  SC also wanted the French blond haired granny in - unfortunately she had gone, so Chastity Belt stepped in; the FBHG was running very well and SC mentioned to Vacant Plot that she is too old to be running that well, VP pointed out that she was probably younger than most of the guys here! White Pointer thanked JC for the 20 baht beers, thats it JC, rehydrate yourself with beer!! WC Fields was struggling on Friday after the AGPU so decided he would go to his favourite place for Steak and Egg - Baan Rim Klong - he rang Singha but as he is as deaf as a post Singha asked him to SMS.  So the order was sent and WC Fields was on his way.  When he got there it was all locked up and no food for him - so Singha can receive but not send an SMS? Murkury iced Jungle Balls, fancy saying to Murkury that he won the 'Get A Life Award' at the AGPU, JB can talk!? Clitmas Pussy heard a few mumblings earlier today about the fact that the GM was foreign, Singha said he had no problems as he is deaf in any language! Lord Louis the Lip was seeking the help of one of Singha's Angles out on the walk.  One was more than happy to help LLtL up the hill, and by the time he got to the top he could barely breath, and was looking for help, but she was no where to be seen.  It seems that she was following the money and was back with Singha.   

GM iced Jungle Balls again, after the walk they were having a Q & A session and Jungle Balls proceeded to spray deodorant all up his legs - why is anybodies guess! Fuckarwee was iced (he dropped his shorts, and needs  shave apparently - I was too scared to look).  Fuckarwee turned up at the GM's restaurant on Friday thinking it was BBQ night, GM advised him it was ribs, he told the GM that he "didn't want to eat that shit!" Well fuck off then you Aussie ........  Don, who has been a member of PH3 for some time, but has no hash name, in fact at his first run he took a nasty injury to his leg but still comes along for the social side of life.  Anyway there was a suggestion that he be called Caster (only the English would get that) so it was decided his PH3 will be Don-Kee.  Swollen Colon iced, for what reason I have no idea? Princess felt he had to confess his sins - so he told JA that he took the injury from some bamboo - well that may not be the case.  He had got himself lost but could hear the horn and headed in that direction.  Where he found MtG and nobody else - if you look closely enough the scratches in his groin area are the exact diameter of MtG finger nails!!! He told her that if she touched she would be number 4!!  There were calls to know the names of the 3 previous guys he was married to!  Testicle Tom was asked if he wanted to take it off for the 25 Run t-shirt that was a Large? He agreed very quickly - congratulations one of our new registrars - Juan Palorista - TT did cop a feel of his left nipple and its not the first time that TT has dressed a boy!! GM wanted all the English in (Jungle Balls was asked in, but he is WELSH - he just speaks English! So was iced).  The Olympics are being held in London which is the most multi-cultural city in the world (probably because it is full of immigrants!).  So why, during the ladies football match was the South Korean flag shown with the faces of the North Korean team - well that was because it was held in Scotland, so the Scots had fucked that up! There is a huge WELCOME sign at the Olympic Park which is not only in English but many other languages - so they have written Welcome in Arabic upside down (it should have said Fuck Off really!).  Blue Harlot asked "What is the shortest race in the Olympics?" "China" apparently - he thought it was funny, GM iced him because it wasn't!! Not Cleaver said the Olympics was like any normal Saturday night in London, a gun goes off and 8 niggers do a runner.   

The GM wants to add something to the next 52 weeks, and that is "French Cunt of the Week' as you can imagine HUGE cheers from the circle - and even bigger cheers when it was announced that Assterix had won it.  Last week when BH got it right for once and Pole Position Took It Off.  Assterix said that she must have been beautiful when she was younger!! Not Cleaver gave her a knife and told her to 'have him!'  Well Assterix must have been a cunt when he was younger? Departers:  Disparu, Stiff Fanny, Flakey, Kamala Toe Licker and Jungle Balls (based on this week he ain't coming back!).    Hares and Barbara Woodhouse (as his first Run Master) it was a bad idea to have 20 baht beers, as he is pissed now.  JC nearly had an accident, Paper and us all would miss him if he wasn't here.  Run was UP hill and UP again, it was a great Laager site what more could you ask for.  Jungle Balls called it Hash Shit, but everybody else called GOOD RUN.  So JB Hash Shit is still all yours.  Well, as you can see, the circle was longer than an hour with NO 2nd steward - so you have got War and Peace!!!! Like I say, 'I tell it as it is' and if you don't like it do it yourself!!! IMO a great first circle GM.