Hares were in, with calls of "wonder why", "stick 'em on the ice" and "the hill wasn't big enough!" GM thought Flying Dickhead was quite right when he said that JC looked like he had never heard before any of the instructions that were given.  According to Houdini the walk was about 1hr and the run 1 1/4 hr - well it took the GM 28 minutes  but it seems that Singha took 58 minutes - so basically the route was timed for the only person that couldn't hear Houdini!!

Returning former GM Sir Wanda HBYC 65 years young - the song was like music to his ears! He was welcomed back from the UK where he has been running pubs in Yoxley, which according to Big Bollox is a shithole (SW reckons it is a fucking shithole!).  SW now knows why the GM was talking to him on the walk, has never spoken to him before in his life!! 600 Runs for SW, all he had to do was take his jacket off - apparently he now has saggy tits? His t-shirt did look like the arm was going to fall off, don't think it will happen though as Top Off didn't make it! SW enjoyed a Chugalug - although it did look like it was coming back up at one stage!  

Returners:  Bluey, Billy Boy, Rotary Wanker, Dr Fucking Jekyll, Oh Yea, Mister Fister, Oy Pussylicker (somebody thought he was wearing a chest wig!?).  Visiting Hashers:  Mark and Aussie Bob (Bob Downing kiss my arse, according to Billy Boy!). One of the hash dogs (4 legged kind) was licking Aussie Bob's arm, which he quite liked until he found it was last seen licking another dogs (4 legged kind) arse! They both enjoyed a beer with plenty of ice cold water.  Then our American visitors; Lazer Labia and Fort Argie, LL recently visited Chiang Mai and following a walk in the jungle she found a leach on the bathroom floor absolutely bloated out with blood - "Oh I wonder where that has come from?" well it seems that it was attached to her arse for most of the walk and the wound didn't stop bleeding for 3 hours - ouch!!! She will show you the wound if you ask her nicely! She is a member and current GM of the CUNT hash (Columbia University New Traditional) and wanted to share here newest favourite song (to the tune of "My Favourite Things"): 


A new song for Julie Andrews to learn!!! Well both LL and FA are Military, so lets see how intelligent they are.  Enjoyed a beer with their blue arms, and they figured it out - I don't think they were that clever, they are just good at remembering things (saw it at a previous hash!).  Suck it and See showed us her Hash Ball attire, much to the circle's delight, especially when she paraded around with calls of "I've got your number!" Chicken George was looking slightly worried when he was called into the circle to the tunes of the wedding march!!  

Run Offenses:  SA Dick Gobbler wanted the Russian Girls in - so he got Wet Spot, and he reckons she hit it today! Coming down the mountain and she ran straight into a tree, SADG showed his caring side and offered her some help, she turned him down (can you blame her!), Bluey took a pisser and he just ran past him saying "fuck you cunt!" next Wet Spot is going down on SADG and they took a tumble into the bushes together!! So SADG only cares for sexy ladies - fuck everybody else! Minnie Mouse had a Ball Offense, Billy Boy took a huge liking to MM Lady Gaga wig, and asked when she has finished with it, for it to be donated to Murkury as he has never seen a turtle with hair! So Murkury looked 'beautiful' with his luscious long curly locks and red lipsticks (Sir Wanda had to be held back!) - well Happy Birthday Sir Wanda, Lady Murkury is your birthday gift from the PH3.  Somebody did ask how much to bar fine her (won't say who - but Singha your secret is safe with me!).  Lady Murkury did a 'suck it and see' around the circle, didn't quite get the same response as she did!! So is LM the new Pooying or Iron Pussy GM as (s)he not sure if will make it to the Tinman now!? Manneken Piss was quite touched to see Bluey has got himself a new boyfriend following this run - the Thai guy that helped him up the hill, as he was struggling, wanted a kiss on the lips at the top - couldn't quite hear if Bluey obliged or not!? Billy Boy was running up the hill - with all arms flailing and punched visiting hasher Mark right in the nuts - "Oh sorry" BB said "That's OK!" replied Mark.  I'm sure BB quickened his pace after that comment!? Disparu bought some new shoes 3 weeks ago, but they have already fallen to pieces, so GM will be on the lookout next week for new shoes (Singha reckons there are another few walks left in them!)  Assterix was taking a run up the steep hill, only to get to the top to find King Klong, squatting down, with his 'meat and 2 veg' hanging between his legs and taking a dump! It was thought there weren't many run offenses as the run / walk wasn't that long?  

Steward - Flying Dickhead:  (which according to Manneken Piss, this is going to be boring!)  So as Murkury isn't sure what sexuality he is, FD asked him if he was Lesbian - "YES" he replied!! It's been some time since FD did a steward spot, so his whipping bitch is Virgin My Arse. FD asked her if she knew what a whipping bitch is, apparently Dicksappointing knows.  The French were very quiet today, however Princess and Big Dick weren't, so they were iced, it seems they like a bit of 'bum on bum action' well that's what it seemed on the ice? Many thanks to Big Bollox for the hard work that went into making the Hash Ball a success this year.  It looks like since he moved up 'North' he is loosing weight and wasting away.  BB explained that it was nothing to do with 'Sex-ercise' but they reckon Fish Balls is making him plough the fields.  BB asked to choose the best dressed females last night: Twice Nightly, Creature FTBL, Mind The Gap and of course Fish Balls.  Best dressed men: Big Bollox, Once Weekly and Sir Wanda.  VMA could be seen nagging FD - stop interfering with the management VMA.  Double Down Down and Moonwalker made sure that FD wasn't left wandering about on his own, he could hear them talking and laughing all the way back to the Laager.  FD remembers awarding Sir Wanda his hash name, as he was wearing a 'fish called wanda' t-shirt that week.   FD remembers the time that only GM's / former GM's could put somebody on the ice, so Julie Andrews and JC iced as they love to ice people.  JC was told to stop moaning, or he would get more beer - NO FD you should have told him he would get water - that would have shut him up.  Butt Cycle, Tight Fit, Juan Palorista, Aussie Bob and Murkury all enjoyed Down Downs as FD thought they looked thirsty (can buy your own beers you know!!)  Looks like the whipping girl got of lightly this time? GM wanted Sir Wanda, FD, King Klong and Gorgeous (who wasn't here - but Billy Boy insisted on calling "what's the charge?" so duly iced as the GM was hoping for a day free of that phrase!) So who introduced the ice to PH3, not sure when it arrived but the 'ultimate punishment' prior to the ice cannot be discussed in-front of women and children.... Good Steward spot. 

Princess iced, you might be the bike hash GM, but don't try and run this circle!  All Aussies in and told to stand to attention with their hand across their chest (some confusion as to which one!?) Big Bollox in to help them all celebrate the Queen Elizabeth II (Queen of Australia) Diamond Jubilee - Bluey was giving the bird, Billy Boy iced and although Big Bollox sang God Save Our Queen lovely, there were choruses of Waltzing Matilda - although they only knew one verse!! SA Dick Gobbler, G'Day G'Day and Aussie Bob iced for showing insubordination.  Hares back in as not much attention shown to them so far today.  Congratulations to Tequila Slapper who got her 50 run t-shirt and the guys though they were in for a right old treat when Great Dick chose 'take it off' and TS duly obliged - but had a black fitted top on underneath, so they didn't get to see anything! Next in Chastity Belt, and although SADG and Sir Wanda wanted take it off, CB was not so obliging - congrats on 100 runs.  New Member:  Oh Yea - god I still remember that damn circle and the bus ride back, scared for life I am ;) Apparently BC had the best ejaculation when he met Oh Yea for the first time, and he was only looking at the photos on PH3 website!  It's been far too polite so far...... 

Steward - SA Dick Gobbler:  Scribe didn't even bother asking for his notes as they came from the front of his pants - tough shit if I didn't get any of the punch lines - I ain't touching that paper! So then Lady Murkury what's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?  Taste! See how Princess minces, well at the bike hash Testicle Tom got really excited and shoved a strawberry up his arse - he couldn't get it out so went to the doctor who told him he would give him some cream for that - tumbleweed moment... Apparently Sir Wanda hates the UK as he can't get a wank off any of the female race, so is delighted to be back in Thailand so he can have blow job, sex, you name it on Soi Bangla!  King Klong went to BKK recently and had a fantastic time taking care of his son (alone!).  Apparently he suffered from Thai Food (typhoid!) which you can get from shit.  So did he get it from eating Thai Food or kissing arse?? SADG has sex at least once every day - and always like to have a sleep afterwards, so KK was asked about his sexual preferences in BKK, now this lost me, but something to do with 'depends if I can find a phone - presumable to ring his wife!! SADG found Lord Louis the Lip crying on a park bench this morning and SADG thought he was upset at not going to the ball last night and seeing the golden goddess!  It seems that LLtL read in the Gazette that he had died!! So he rang Rommel and asked him did he know he had died?  "Yes I did, but where are you ringing from?" LLtL is happy he is 79 years old and he married a 25 year old, he has sex 3 times every day and that was all I heard on that one - something about not being able to find his house??? SADG thanked all the beautiful ladies that went to the hash ball, SADG doesn't recognise any of them today - most of the guys there last night were like a bunch of archaeologists - they were certainly digging for some hole!! Good steward spot although there were several 'Rosie' moments

Chastity Belt then proceeded to pull down SADG shorts AND pants - Oh my good god!!!   Sir Wanda invited everybody back to the Expat in Patong for his party, where there will be plenty of piss, food and a band - and some permanent marker pens too!!! HBYC again, god how SW loves that song.  SADG and Chastity Belt in the circle giving SADG the opportunity for revenge - SADG had a quick chat with Houdini, just asking wether she liked it up the arse, in her cunt or in her mouth!!! CB was extremely worried that SADG was going to yank her shorts down (and rumor has it she has gone commando today!). 

Alan (not Alan but Alan with a French accent!) was named today with the help of Manneken Piss.  Apparently Alan was in the French Air Force, but wasn't good enough to fly so was ground crew and also spent some time in Africa.  He made it to the rank of Major.  Tradition has it that new members to a squadron are called Bleu Dick (Blue Dick)  So all agreed his PH3 name is Major Dick Blue .  According to Julie Andrews MDB was running well today, but he could see why he never made it from ground crew, as he took an absolutely flyer today and ended up face down in the mud!!  Laser Labia and Fort Argie thanked the hares for a good walk.  During their visit to Phuket they visited Simon Caberet and thought all girls were beautiful - until they met Lady Murkury.  They ended their time with PH3 with a song, which basically ended with the line "Don't fuck Phuket whores" (Sorry I missed the whole song I was taking a pee in the bushes at the time!!). 

Run Master / Mistress (Lady Murkury) wanted to be taken seriously - dressed like that you have got NO chance!! Although JC and Vacant Plot were avoiding Houdini like the plague VP soon changed his mind when Lady Murkury thought the run was pretty good.  Although LM didn't give a fuck about what people thought of the walk - this is a hash!!! Good Run.  Lazer Labia, Fort Argie and Sir Wanda in for spare beer!!