Well, thanks to the Hares and "walkers follow the blue paper" what bloody blue paper!!???? I missed the start of the circle, and seeing as it was about them, then tough titty!!! Singha looked like a ray of sunshine on this wet and miserable grey day - I think he actually looked more like a lolly pop man than a ray of sunshine.

Returners: Swollen Colon, JC and King Klong, good to hear that KK has got rid of all his horrible diseases, but SC has bought a bucket load back with him from his travels (Tanzania, Kenya, Sudan and Egypt). He was given his own blue cup to drink his down downs from, nobody wanted to catch any of his diseases - good call GM. Visiting Hasher: Hydro (full name Hydraulic Yawn).  Turned out to be a returner. Blue Harlot thought he recognised HY but thought it was 'ello 'ello (wrong country BH!!). HY was wondering what his PH3 name would be - well Einstein you don't get a new name for every hash you attend, but as BH thought he was somebody else, we reckon his PH3 name should be G'day, G'day (and if you can't guess where he comes from, then unlucky I ain't going to tell ya!!). New Member: Ranold, unfortunately for him his is the cousin of Swollen Colon!! Tokyo Joe looked like he was having a fit - GM warned him he would be iced if he started! Hopefully Ranold isn't infected too seeing as he is related to SC? SC offered to buy Ranold a hash shirt, GM warned Clitmas Pussy to bleach the money when she got home. Virgins: Kat and Brian, they attempted to do the intelligence test with blue arms, but failed miserably (although Kat got most of the beer in her mouth - she has done something similar before I reckon?). When the GM mentioned Intelligence Test, Houdini could be heard saying "well don't choose Chastity Belt" So GM asked for CB to come into the circle - you would think after nearly 100 runs she would know her name by now - but NO! Anyway, Houdini was right - not much intelligence there at all - failed miserable drinking her beer with blue arms. Dicksappointing showed her how it was done - you would have thought she would have remembered, seeing as she was in the circle last week - but then if she can't remember her name after all this time, what hope is there of her remembering something that happened 7 days ago!?

Prior to the muddy, shitty, piss wet through run that took place, Assterix could be seen parading around in new shoes. So when the GM called him in he replied "they were new on the Tinman, you fucked up on that, so you can fuck off now!!" Obviously he was iced for telling the GM how it is!? GM advised Julie Andrews that the next time he buys an umbrella he should buy one bigger than his waist! It is a shame that Fuck A Wolf had left as he is 81 years old, he was in Patong last week and a Thai lady asked how old he was "I'm 63 years old" "Wow you look so young" she replied - according to Lord Louis the Lip he gets told the same!!

Run Offenses: Manneken Pis couldn't believe it when he got to the last check on the run, he found paper and called On On at that Assterix appeared and said "I've been checking for the last hour" Bullshit Assterix, you haven't checked in your life. When Julie Andrews was heading up one of the hills, he took a nose dive into the mud, and talk about stating the obvious, Once Weekly cries out "is it slippery??" Mercury had a recce offense, although the 2 virgin hares performed well, Fungus is named for a reason - he is an expert of mushrooms - apparently!!!! He spots something, and off he goes getting all excited bends down and picks it up - a bloody golf ball that is - expert my arse! So Fungus was heading one way and GP Arse and Murkury were heading another - now GPA and Fungus have this thing - they don't stop talking with each other and if they are not in the same vicinity they ring each other up. So there is Murkury heading over the cliff, and literally falling into the abyss - calling out for help, and these two chatterboxes are chatting!! Eventually GPA realises Murkury has headed over the cliff and rescues him. My god can they fucking talk!!! Both Virgin Hares were awarded their V Hare t-shirt, and neither had them on!! No expense was spared for those t-shirts!! A question for the walkers, who found the blue paper - NOT ONE Walker found blue paper - although one runner did - that was no good to us!!! Bullet Rash was shocked to see that chivalry still doesn't exist on the PH3. So Manneken Pis is trying to head up the hill that is liquid brown ice, and he was gaining NO traction at all heading up the hill his legs were just spinning round and round. JC who was behind Bullet Rash kept shouting "Help him up" obviously BR didn't. Then Parasol Pussy could be heard shouting "keep running" which is what she did, unfortunately she managed to get as far as the tree, grabbed hold of that, spun round and ended up sliding down on her arse all the way to the bottom - at which time Top Off just ran over the top of her - every man / woman for themselves out there today. Clitmas Pussy was delighted when Double Down Down took the lead going through the 'stream' area - more like bog if you ask me!! If there was one route not to pick, DDD found it - up to her knees in mud, and all CP could think was 'if she doesn't make it back who will scribe!!?' At least everybody else made it though un-mudded. Barbara Woodhouse was not surprised to see that Swollen Colon was late for registering, you would have thought as members of his family had joined him he would have been there on time!!! So SC was paying for his family members too, you could have though that it wasn't difficult for him to pay 220 baht, oh how wrong - he handed over 620 baht - BW wasn't surprised to hear that SC had been out of the country and doesn't know what he is doing - since when has he ever known what he was doing?? So Virgin Kat headed off and it started to piss down with rain, so she turned back, as she was scared. Apparently though, next week she will be out the front running - OK we'll see! But actually she might be right, seeing as it is the Hash Ball on Friday, so there might not be so many runners!? As Houdini was walking the run, he couldn't believe it when Assterix shouted from behind him "fat arse bastard, get out of zee way (sounds more like German than French to me!!), which Houdini duly did, but reminded him that he would be catching him up and passing him again - which he did, a total of three times - so which one has the fat arse - I reckon it could be Assterix if a walker can catch him up!? GP Arse thanked Murkury for his tutoring, but was surprised to receive such a large bag of paper. When GPA asked why so much paper, he was reminded that all hashers are idiots! GPA didn't actually use the paper - he used croutons from his restaurant - they won't last long in this weather.

GM asked for silence for our Steward, and not a pin drop could be heard - welcome to the world of....... Singha - our first Steward: We were all asked to move in closer as somebody might say something funny and Singha would miss it! Singha wanted to start at the beginning, he woke up this morning and felt like shit - and this was all down to being out with Julie Andrews last night and he did his best to ruin Singha's day today. So the bus was on time from Kamala, but Dten and Butt Cycle were nowhere to be seen, last seen walking up the main road in Kamala. So fuck it we decided to leave. Apparently Double Down Down is like a human dynamo (thank you!), not only does she do registrations at Kamala, she is also the hash scribe. So in the absence of No Hope, she stepped up to the plate to act as Navigator for the bus. Worryingly though, she knew the bus had to go as far as the Caltex Garage, but had NEVER turned left so actually had no idea where she was going, she also doesn't speak any Thai, and the bus driver doesn't speak any English - it is an absolutely miracle the bus got here at all!! (Come back soon No Hope!). Singha couldn't believe the horrible picture of BC on the website in his hash ball attire - boy he is going to give Twice Nightly a run for her money - Singha nearly bought himself a ticket just to see this 'dress off' between the two of them. So as the bus has actually found it's way to the Laager, it was with great surprise that about 150m from the turning we were passed by Top Off, who was actually going in the wrong direction. When Top Off got to the site Singha asked him where he went wrong - apparently he was going too fast to take the corner!!! So what a combination, Virgin My Arse and Tokyo Joe - are they breeding from them?? Anyway, VMA does a stirling job as the hash flash, but there was some competition today, with TJ using his smart new camera to snap away - but no worries VMA the muppit had the lens cap on for most of the shots!! Great Steward spot and we made sure Singha heard the song.

Flying Dickhead also failed the intelligence test today - after 20 years of hashing he knows he should not stand next to the French pack. Well it is a circle and somebody has to, but 20 years ago there was only 1 Frenchman!! Jiggly Juggs didn't do the run, but decided to take a run up and down the road!!! She couldn't believe it when she saw several walkers that had got as far as the local shop and decided to stop and carry on drinking - they even had the nerve to call On On (when in fact they weren't!!). They reckon they were supporting the local economy and it was kind of being on a hash, they were buying beer!! JJ was iced for not complaining about the fact that the GM had NOT mentioned anything about the Kamala Koma at the start of the circle - according to JJ the KK is the most well organised and popular hash on the island!!!

2nd Steward - Rude As Fuck: What's the best way to offend Lady Gaga - Poke her (poker) in the face or kick her in the bollocks - oh a tumbleweed moment........ As No Hope is in the UK he likes to travel around the country, so when he visited Poole he took a swim, when he visited Bath, you guessed it he had a bath and when he went to Rugby, he had a game. So RaF was surprised to receive an SMS from him saying he was in jail, after visiting Blackburn. GP Arse is having a few problems with his girlfriend, he thinks she has had 61 previous boyfriends, as she keeps calling him her 62nd (60 second) lover!?!? GPA was taken on a blind date by his best friend, but he told GPA that the blind date was expecting a baby - well you can imagine her surprise when GPA turned up in a nappy and sucking a dummy? What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle with sand (I told him not to include it - but he insisted!) Blue Harlot was allowed to bring his chair into the circle - RaF likes to help those that need care in the community. BH Son came home from school and said that he was taking up Ballroom Dancing, BH advised him that was a really dangerous thing to do - "No it isn't dad" came the reply, "It is when I break your fucking legs you queer bastard." BH wife found kiddy porn on the home PC and she questioned BH about it - BH claimed it was nothing to do with him, she replied "Do you think I was born yesterday" "Oh how I wish that was true" replied BH!!! BH Daughter is a stripper, but BH doesn't mind, it saved him an absolute fortune on his stage night. What is soft and warm when you go to bed and hard and cold when you wake up - Vomit (Thanks Murkury!). Did you know a man ejaculates at 20 miles per hour, so it is safe to hit a child. True story (although DDD had her head in her hands at this stage, begging RaF not to tell it because it will be forever in print!!). So RaF goes for a hair cut, and gets onto his motorbike, takes a drive to the barbers and takes a seat, then there is the tumbleweed moment, when the two barbers, their two customers and the other guy waiting just freeze, stop talking, stop working and just look at RaF's groin area. Much to his (and their) horror RaF has split his shorts, but being the Royal Marines Commando that he is, he goes commando - and there for all the barber shop to see is his meat and two veg!!!! Do you know how difficult it is to try and walk with the front of your shorts wide open, and then try and get on the bike without slapping your love tackle out for everybody else to take a look at!!! The worse of it was, he came back into the house, walked up the stairs, and I asked, without looking, why he was back so quick, he said turn round, and there he was giving me a full visual of what the poor guys in the barber shop had experienced (I'm sure they are still receiving counseling now??). A good steward spot, which he recovered towards the end, there were several 'Rosie' moments in there - he reckons the next one will be better (if you are asked back!)

Hares and the Run Master in, with the Run Master trying to gag Tokyo Joe with his umbrella as he doesn't shut up!! Apart from the rain, and the fact that not one walker found the blue paper, all agreed it was a Good Run.