Prior to the run, No Hope announced that this run has been laid and being run / walked in memory of Dog Balls, Mrs Rodman, Barney Rubble, Rosie,, Useless and Jason who all sadly passed away last year.   

Circle Open, GM requested the Hares in, and wanted to know who out of No Hope and Ape Man fucked up the walk - you choose!! No Hope reckons we all got back so what was the problem!!  On  a serious note, the GM explained that 3 hashers passed away in one week this time last year, RIP Barney Rubble, Useless and Rosie. 

According to Testicle Tom a 600 run baseball cap was left at Baan Rim Klong, and the GM wanted to know who owned it - strangely enough, it was left at Baan Rim Klong for a reason, Singha owned the baseball cap and had been looking for it for the last 10 days!! The GM welcomed back Double Down Down and along with the stand in scribes, No Hope, Moonwalker and Blue Harlot enjoyed a down down (and according to BC who was asked to scribe while DDD was in the circle this is what happened; 'I like cocks and tea bagging') - won't be asking him to scribe again ;)  

Returners:  Double Down Down, Chastity Belt, Mamma Duck, Lucky Lek and Tokyo Jo.  Visiting Hashers:  Who all looked like they hadn't seen the sun for several weeks - a bucket load of Canadians, with a GM among them - its you, no its you, no its you - which one of you is it!!! Anyway one of them was the GM of the Hot Tub Hash, well we don't have a hot tub, but plenty of ice - and iced the GM was.  Blue Harlot could be heard thinking out loud 'which one of those would I like to join in the hot tub' he got his answer 'none of them!'  GM of Hot Tub Hash enjoyed a chugalug of tiger beer in 3 seconds flat!! GM asked the Canadian's to stand in a line (just pretend there are a row of seals in front of you!) it took an age to explain, but in the end they enjoyed beer on their knees and ice cold water to go with it.  Blue Harlot looked like he was in an old folks home, with his towel substituting as a blanket, apparently to keep this mosquitoes off him.  Somebody loaned him some repellant, which he thought was a roll on, and commented nothing was coming out, you muppit it was a flip top lid!! Visiting Hasher: Jorg enjoyed a chugalug beer again in 3 seconds flat. 

Virgin: A rather big virgin going by the name of Josh from Newfoundland, asked why he had come along to the hash, apparently he got on the wrong bus.  Enjoyed a blue arm beer, but managed a full down down, by using his initiative - the circle were well impressed as had never seen that before!   Numbered Runs: SA Dick Gobbler wanted t-shirt off, but Virgin My Arse wouldn't comply, just slipping her 50 run shirt over her vest, although SADG did try and lift her vest off!! He'll do anything for a quick grope!! A young man up next, and Jiggly Juggs gave a definite yes for t-shirt off (as long as it wasn't the GM!) well congratulations to Blue Harlot - 600 runs.  When asked what size shirt he is he replied "a manly L but my Y Fronts are XL ;) " So Thai XL y-fronts he received, with JJ sticking them straight on her head - not the first time apparently. Not Cleaver and all the Yanks in, NC received some bad news last week after applying for his Green Card to become an American Citizen, he had ticked all the NO boxes for each relevant question, apart from one, which he had to tick YES, had he been circumcised?  He received a reply to say that his application had been rejected, and when he checked with them, it was all down to the fact that he had been circumcised - but what difference does that make - well you have to be a complete dick to be an American.  SA Dick Gobbler rang the GM several weeks ago, in a panic as he was going away for 2 weeks but wanted to make sure he registered for the Hash Ball.  GM told him not to worry it would all get sorted, and the GM wished SADG a good two weeks, SADG replied "Why where are you going" silly sod couldn't remember that he was going away on holiday (apparently it was early in the morning!) doesn't matter what time of the day normally!?!?  

Steward - GP Arse:  GPA feeling rather fragile today, anybody would think he did the walk!! Puppy Shit went into a sandwich shop, where Always Wet worked there was a sign on the wall; Ham $4, Chicken $6 and Hand $20 - PS asked if AW did the hand job, "yes she replied " well go and wash your hands and give me a cheese sandwich." Now I'm not sure if I lost the punch line or GPA did - but with it being a bit of a tumbleweed moment, I think it was GPA? Rude As Fuck in, seeing as he is a Tourist Police Volunteer and likes telling jokes about orange haired kids, it was quite fitting that he was asked to deliver a telegram to a woman.  Who got rather excited thinking it was a singing telegram, RaF replied that it wasn't but she insisted that he sang the telegram, so he did; "Da da da da da da Bob and the kids are dead" again did I miss the punch line?? A penguin went into a mechanic shop and asked them to have a look at his car which wasn't working right.  It was going to be about 30 minutes, so the penguin went off for an ice cream, due to it being a hot day, some melted and dripped onto his chest.  When he returned the mechanic said "looks like you have blown a seal" "no I haven't that is ice cream!" No Hope <of> Houdini <being> Gorgeous were out doing a recce and were captured by cannibals.  They were told they were going to be killed, skinned and a canoe made out of their skin, but first you could have a last meal; NH chose fish and chips, Houdini chose a Lady Pie and Gorgeous asked for a fork.  But you can't eat a fork, "no I know" replied Gorgeous "but you can't make a canoe out of me, as he proceeds to prick himself all over like a sausage going onto a BBQ!" Thanks GPA who apparently is attending the Not Cleaver school of stewarding.     

Run Offenses:  Princess iced for claiming he never wears a hash shirt and never gets done for it, he is now wearing a see-through shirt (that's what iced water does to it!!).  Hash Flash joined Princess on the ice, Hash Flash AND Jiggly Juggs got all excited when Princess had his dangly bits hanging out of his shorts - apparently when you get to a certain age men's dangly bits hang lower than their sausage, which is a lot smaller!  Anyway Hash Flash was too shy to take a photo, so we will never know how much smaller his sausage is! Tokyo Jo wanted Umbrella Twat (aka Parasol Pussy) in the circle, her poor dumb defenseless dog has no idea that it is drinking out of a container that half of the hash have had their fingers in! Houdini in to share a down down with her.  Lesser Dipshit was totally surprised by Jiggly Juggs this morning, who was up and about very early doing a recce and practicing for the hash.  Never did quite get to the bottom as to how he knew JJ was up early!? Moron offense: Puppy Shit (who dragged his puppy into the circle - he won't be doing that in 12 months time - as the puppy will be the size of a donkey with teeth like a shark!!!).  When Moonwalker asked him what breed it was he replied "it's a Rottweiler cross" oh cross with a what? "A Rottweiler!!" Dumb fuck!! He was then iced for letting the pup piss in the circle.  Houdini walked the run today, as he has a bad back - ahhhhh.  Anyway he was rather surprised to see SA Dick Gobbler and Jiggly Juggs coming out of the bushes hand in hand!!He didn't want to ask, but was there a possible Rule 6 violation going on?? He was then completely gob smacked when Creature FTBL and Butt Plug followed them out!!!  He definitely didn't want to know now.  Apparently it was all Top Offs fault for yelling out they were on the right 'short cut' it might have been a short cut - but straight up the hill!!  No Hope was complaining to the GM that the Hares don't get enough Down Down's anymore.  Well he got one now, apparently the Laager was being held on Government Land so NO alcohol to be consumed.  Thank the lord the police haven't yet turned up.  Lucky Lek wanted all the Canadian's in (bless them, they needed sub titles - as did I - at this stage!).  Can you imagine everybody's surprise when LL started speaking French to them - jesus what hope do I have!!! They got a couple of Down Down's for humoring him in the circle.  The GM then announced that after Mannekin Piss is the next GM, Lucky Lek will be the next one (taxi for the scribe). No Hope couldn't catch his breath when Lucky Lek turned up in a Nazi staff car, no word of lie, there are Nazi Swartz Stickers on it!!! BC was showing off his new look to Murkury, and with the added skin tone cap (looked like the end of a very large condom) they look like twins (just check out the photos and you will see what I mean!).    

Steward - Parasol Pussy:  Tokyo Jo may regret this!! PP was quite touched that the Hares had dedicated this run to Hasher's that passed away last year.  PP was deeply upset when Useless passed away, he was a Dutch guy and had told her about his life rather than the normal shallow chit chat that some of the hashers talk.  Cheers Hares it was a nice run today, you bastards! PP wanted to tell the circle a little bit about herself, when she was a little girl, Blue Harlot pricked up - literally.  She was afraid of sharks, so her Dad tried to explain that there are no sharks in Holland, so a boat would have to sail to and from South Africa to catch a shark, arrive in Rotterdam harbour, transfer the shark to a special container filled with water, travel across Holland and then PP home filled with water for the shark to swim around in the house - Who the hell do you think would be paying for all that!! (Good Scottish joke if ever I heard one!).  PP and her older sister asked her Mom when she was pregnant with her third child, what had happened.  So Mom explained how mother nature works and that she was having a baby boy.  PP asked "so does that mean you only had sex 3 times in 7 years?? Really??" Now this is where PP steward spot got visually good, but not a lot for me to write about - she did a card trick with Top Off, but she chose the wrong card, wasn't even close in fact!! So the GM reminded everybody that if they needed a children's entertainer, here was one going very cheap!   At this stage I just had to go for a pee - so Blue Harlot took over, and here is what he wrote; "Gone for a piss - nothing happened - yet ....... 3 glasses of vodka - Great Dick and Princess in.... " Scribe back now, PP, GD and Princess downed their vodka, but PP didn't swallow!!!  

Virgin My Arse, "what's the charge" she asks - "don't fucking start that shit" replies the GM!! It is her birthday this week, so in usual hash fashion - HBYC was sung.  So Blue Harlot was given his under pants earlier - and see what happens when you are 63 years old - he had already shit in them after 10 minutes!  Departers:  Lesser Dipshit and No Hope.  Run Master in, Houdini started another sermon, after Tokyo Jo was iced because he wouldn't shut the fuck up with the Hare's song!!! It was good to have a remembrance service for fallen hashers.  Wanted to know if it was hash shit or dead good run.  Good Run as agreed by all.