Here is a tip for the G,M and stewards. Do not ice or down down the scribe. I have just got home, no football on the telly, busy day tomorrow, so I am doing the scribe report now on Saturday evening with a full belly of beer and a very cold arse. (Hurry up back Double Down Down.)

So the run, fucking long (8.2 Km) and that is as the crow flies, and I don’t have bloody wings. The walk, erm! A lollipop without the lolly, but still had people coming in 2 hours later. A big thank you to Once weekly and Twice nightly for regaining a great laager and run area at Mosquito Lake.

The circle excellent, but I was pissed, 40 bht beers, Yippee!  ice, triple down downs, fuck off.

Hares in, deservedly, someone near me said Twice Nightly should be gagged, but not with a cloth around her mouth, terrible comment, I wonder who said that?

Returners: were Flip Flop, Lesser Dipshit and the Hot Pants Family

Visitors: “I’m not Gay” and Sodomy (Sod On Me). At this stage Testical Tom and B.C leaned forward in their chairs with great interest.

Virgins: Only one Samuel who was introduced to the Chugalug, a new method of downing a beer in less than 2 seconds, brutal. Well done Samuel, he took it like a man as T.T says.

New members; Boy who is Creatures son, and runs like the wind, and a young girl called Jen, who said she was 33 years old, gasps of amazement from the circle (Well me really) she looked about 12 years old. legalised paedophilia, at this stage all the men had thoughts of baby oil, condoms, lubricants, warm candle wax, Whipped cream, cherries, razor, shaving cream, and a very big Jacuzzi,……….er! You did lads didn’t you?

Back on course now, B.C Jiggly Jugs and Bullet Rash for cycling 60 kms before the run, buy a car you tight cunts, Louis the Lip said to B.C, “I wish I could do that.” B.C replied, “Get a fucking time machine first." classic’ Oh! Nearly forgot, Not Cleaver called in and iced, and this is where the circle banter was so good, He has just been circumcised, Yes really! Pole Position is claiming that means 50% of his knob has now disappeared. Apparently for him it is the same as a lobotomy as he has his brains in his dick, Luv it Oh and guess what?  He brought her a new car, (true) at least it didn’t cost him an arm and a leg, aghh  now I am wetting myself, what did he did he do with the left over bit? Leave it for a tip???? Pole Position gulped down a very big down down from someone’s ash tray, make the most of it girl, you won’t be doing much swallowing in the near future.
 
Run offences: Gorgeous on Jiggly Jugs explaining trying to get hold of Necrophilia is a dead end. Mannequin Piss on B.C. about a true story of an American suing a motor cycle company claiming riding the machine has given him a permanent erection for twenty months,… and the name of the company is……… Murkury called the G.M in for walking the wrong route and then chugalugged Lost Buffalo, fucking hell, 2 seconds. Virgin my Arse for 5 months without a fag, bloody hell, go and see Testical Tom he is always available. Lesser Dipshit brings in Saggy Balls and Barfwader, she was barging her way through them on the run.. Then Jiggly brings in Bullet rash who accused he of being a bad mother, in America that means a whole new thing, speak to a nigger and he will explain.

Then in wanders Erik the Lost, new shoes and no idea, punished mercifully and told to fuck off and get a personality. (And grow some hair) Porn Shop and his girlfriend in for a naming ceremony, fuck I hope I can spell it, as her name is Dom she was named Dominatrix, (Well it goes with Porn.) well done No Hope for that one. No Hope brings in HIV and Julie Andrews in for racing on the Hash, that might be the other way round, forgot.

1st Steward:  Woodpecker:  Clitmas Pussy and Jiggly in and bollocked for not giving Woodpecker enough time to organize the bus and sort out a steward spot, Butt Plug and Puppy Shit in for being tight bastards and not buying new shoes, they sit in the paper store of the Ex Pat hotel with a great pot of glue, and repair their old ones and get high. The Iron Pussy girls were brought in for drinking the hares free beers, they can’t as they are both recovering from yeast infections and are on antibiotics, …. Little pause while I think about that one .Mind the Gap and Singha in they have survived another week of driving.
A good spot at short notice.

Something happened here but I don’t know what.

2nd Steward: Jiggly Jugs Now things went a off on a tangent for me here, so bear with me. I was iced for something and I passed the scribe notes to Singha,  the following is his report.

Err……… What?  
                                                      Is he finished yet? ………………….What?
Is she still talking?..................................................................................................Aghh he’s back

Jiggly called in people who are in the oil industry, apparently “I use KY jelly does that count?” was not the right answer, iced and tripled down down again.  Oh! Just found her notes hold on. Fuck I can’t copy all this shite, Runners from last week’s cross country run, (Sorry, off road trail running, What a load of Bollocks)  Bullet Rash and Minnie Mouse, apparently a Swollen Colon cock up, then Houston Basher accusing all the girls who don’t fancy him as lesbians. All the girls are off for a haircut and to buy strap ons now. Then she went on about sexual equality, some of the better examples were, Men are like snow storms, you never know when they are coming or how many inches you will get. Men are like parking places all the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.  J.C in He is like a feminist bra, he spends most of his time off his tits, (I liked that one.) Born Loser has a new phone, he has downloaded a new app, where he has to go into a feminist’s meeting and makes them a sandwich, and it’s called Angry Birds!!   Ice Arse took Jiggly past Top off’s restaurant, “Mmm that smells nice” Jiggly said, and being a true Scot, Ice Arse said “Come on I’ll treat you and he walked her past again. B.C in and introduced as her inspiration as all this material come s from his website. www. bcssaddirtymother.com.
Great Spot Jiggly. (And I don’t mean on the bed sheets either.)

Departers. Lost Buffalo.  Runmaster Lesser Dipshit thanked the hares for a great job in getting Mosquito Lake back. J.C iced for being a cunt, and a good run was called. Right enough! You wouldn’t believe the fuching amount of mistakes I have made in this report, thank Christ for spellchecker. Sending it off to the G.M now before I read it in the morning and scrap it. Night Night.