Hares in, GM asked Gorgeous what he did, his reply - Not Guilty (so in denial then!). Virgin My Arse took the photos, another one in denial. Dicksappointing laid the paper for the run and Barbara Woodhouse put the PH3 signs up!!! Will let the run master decide.  Great Laager sit though, with a fantastic view.  Billy Boy and Google Arse celebrating a birthday this week - usual HBDYC from the circle.  It was the GM's birthday last week, but there were 35 reasons why there was no 40 baht beers - but this week different, 40 baht beers for everybody, including the French!   

Returners:  Fucking Near Water, Cathy Cruiser, Moonwalker and Slow Cunt.  Apparently Cathy Cruiser had a medical problem, she had an allergy from her sunglasses, so couldn't go out in the sun.  What has she been doing for 2 years - enjoying all the Regatta's around Phuket! Moonwalker did a slow-motion fall on her arse on the walk, she gracefully got up and said "I look like Bambi on Ice" - well she now looks like Moonwalker on ice!! Bum Scraper's dog pissed on Gorgeous sign, so while she was in the circle receiving a down down, it went and pissed on the ice - so she enjoyed sitting on the ice, on the side where it had pissed!! Billy Boy's family where with him today, his Aunty Marge, his Sister Rae and his Nephew's girlfriend Jamie.  So Rae and Jamie enjoyed a couple of beers with iced water included (with love from Aunty Marge) - Jamie tried to drink her beer upside down!! Tin Tin was iced, he was a returner but didn't come into the circle.  Virgins:  6 virgins and 1 child (belonging to Always Wet) - 2 willing volunteers for the blue arms - Tom from Dublin and Luke from Adelaide - interesting that Tom tried to pour the beer up the inside of his blue arm, ingenious, but it didn't quite work!! Double Down Down and Rude As Fuck in to show how it is done, although I don't think it was done that well!! One of the French virgins had 5 day old shoes (so she proudly told the GM when he asked) so as Froggy and Barf Wader were hosting them, they both enjoyed a beer out of them (Froggy had to do a re-run for Hash Flash).  Julie Andrews iced for mouthing off!!

Paper was in, as her dog was doing some strange things on the other side of the circle, so GM wanted the whole circle to see what it was doing.  Unfortunately Paper couldn't quite pull of the re-run of it, so Jiggly Jugs called in, well she managed it perfectly - Dambuster nearly had a heart attack, her legs were akimbo and she was 'blinking' at him!!  According to the GM it was the most hair he had seen in the circle for a long time.  New Member:  Dennis, about 3 weeks ago, he was iced as he was trying to take over from the Hash Flash and was in and out of the circle like I don't know what.  He was iced for quite a while, and apparently it caused him to have a medical problem - hemorrhoids - so the circle agreed his PH3 name is Anal Grapes.   

Steward - Ice Arse:  Hares in, there were shouts of "can we roll them down the hill" from the circle.  IA thanked them for a great Laager site and thought Gorgeous got himself (or just us) a bit confused when he told us to head off in one direction and within 10 meters the front runners had led us off paper!! Last week Jiggly Jugs cycled to the hash and Gorgeous said to IA "I think your wife has got it wrong, it's not the bike hash today" Gorgeous, don't you know by now the wife is NEVER WRONG!!! IA was a bit nervous about being a Steward, and not having enough to say.  Well he needn't have worried as it was the Kamala Koma last Tuesday, and what a bonanza that was.  KK GM Jiggly Jugs and her whipping bitch Billy Boy had a bit of a drinking syndicate going on.  There was a total of 350 beers drunk during the circle, and about 200 were by them!! The evidence was pretty clear to see on the bus, Billy Boy was knocking out the ZZZZs big time.  All the Aussies and Julie Andrews in, IA works for an Aussie company, and he is always being asked why he is employed when there are plenty of Ausies out there that could do this job?  Well apparently there was an Aussie guy that recently cut his own foot off, just above the ankle, a couple of hours before his medical to see if he was fit to go back to work.  So that is probably why they employ IA???  IA read this article 3 or 4 times before he realised it was an Austrian not an Aussie guy, but it should have been an Aussie (In IA opinion). A joke for Rosie:  Both Welsh in (GM and Butt Plug), a Scottish guy goes into a bar and sees two fat girls sat at the bar and asks "are you 2 girls from Scotland" the reply "Wales you bloody moron!" The Scot replies "Oh sorry, are you two Whales from Scotland!?" Best story of the night (from the KK that is) So IA, JJ and her Dad had consumed copious amounts of beer and are in the Tuk Tuk going home, they don't actually remember getting into the house, but IA remembers being woken up in bed at about 5am, as it was still dark.  Jiggly Juggs was snoring and farting like a good un (well she was pissed, although some would say that was normal!?)  IA threw the pillow at her, no joy - so he grabbed her arse and tried a bit of doggy fashion grinding, still no joy, so he got up and decided to do some work downstairs.  About 2 hours later, JJ came downstairs and asked why her Dad was sleeping butt naked in their bed!? IA did wonder why the arse he grabbed in bed, felt slightly tighter and a touch hairier than normal.  Good Steward spot. 

Run Offenses:  Last week Barf Wader got the French in as it was quite obvious that the French Hares had told Google Ass all the short cuts.  According to Manneken Pis, apparently none of the French had a fucking clue what had been said by BW, so Froggy was asked to go and have a chat to try and find out.  Needless to say Froggy hasn't been laid since then!! Just a quick one from Jiggly Juggs (is that what your Dad said?? The circles words not mine!) According to Billy Boy after the KK there was talk that he had been Duked!  "Being Duked is for Pussies", he said, "I've been Jigglied!!!" Minnie Mouse got the French and the Hares in, and asked the French, including Dicksappointing to drop their trousers and show the circle their arses.  Apparently one of the French had kicked a bees nest, and MM ended up getting stung on her arse (it was at this stage that Dicksappointing realised he shouldn't have dropped his shorts!!).  Luckily for MM Pole Position was on hand to offer medical treatment to the wound.  The French seemed very confused about what was being said.  The GM and Dicksappointing were out on a recce last week, and at a major T junction in the jungle Dicksappointing takes off running in a huge 10 ft circle grinning his head off.  "What you doing" asks the GM, "I'm putting a loop on your GPS" says Dicksappointing "You daft cunt, I have the GPS!" replied GM.  No Hope has a bum offense - checking out the length of Minnie Mouse shorts, one of the legs is longer than the other - trust him to notice that sort of detail.  Blue Harlot offered to suck the poison out of MM arse - which he duly did. No Hope was gutted as he is the Hash Quack!! So whose idea was it to give the hash horn to Billy Boy, it would have been better giving it to Prince Charles Fucking Tosser, BB was blowing the horn, but wasn't even on paper.  GM requested a right to reply and Clitmas Pussy was called in, apparently 5 minutes into the walk, she commented that in all her time hashing, she had never heard the hash horn to be blown so much.  Well she must have been shortcutting and off paper also!  Going back to the KK NaaHee Man noticed that Double Down Down wasn't at the KK and half way up the hill he saw Rude As Fuck and said "We are missing DDD today" RaF replied "No we're not!" DDD threw her beer at RaF, so a bit of a domestic going on, and Hash Flash was having a bad day, and had missed it, so DDD had to do a replay!  RaF didn't mind, he could be seen trying to catch the beer in his mouth (waste not want not!).  Mind The Gap's trainers had a blow out today, so Julie Andrews wondered if Toad, the generous landlord would be buying MTG some new runners?  Julie Andrews iced for mouthing off (you would think he would learn?) as the t-shirt last week was fucked up, NaaHee Man was awarded his 200 run t-shirt again this week, did a bit of a striptease for JA on the ice, and ended up pulling a moony!!  

Hash Music - this is Billy Boy's fault as the birthday boy requested a song, but couldn't have the one he wanted, so has got one that hasn't been sung in over 30 years.  The circle can join in with the chorus, using their rear end if possible:


Thanks to Dr Fucking Jekyll for his armpit farting.  The GM asked who in the circle wanted the Hares icing, Julie Andrews, Billy Boy, Minnie Mouse and No Hope all said yes, so where asked to sit in the circle - and listen to our next ........ 

Steward - Gorgeous:  Gorgeous wanted to know what they were all sitting in the circle for, Minnie Mouse replied "to listen to a story from you" - just get a drink NOW, you lot.  Ice Arse has worried Gorgeous, what with the story of his Father in Law, reckons there is some Rule 6 going on, and IA was 'hugging' Gorgeous this week!! Gorgeous' favourite son - Julie Andrews comes in from all angles when finishing a run - JA decided to ice himself (it isn't often he is in the circle without being on the ice!) Gorgeous has never iced anybody - bullshit the circle reckon.  Billy Boy's dog pissed on Gorgeous food sign, according to BB it is a great dog, as doesn't like the Scots.  Gorgeous did say that the chips came with vinegar, according to No Hope.  The French pack in, Gorgeous asked them if they remember Napoleon - you know the guy who stood on the ship and could see no signal - that's Nelson you silly Scottish twat!!  The French left the circle even more confused.  Jiggly Juggs called in, some of the circle wanted to see her knickers again!! Although Gorgeous wanted to know why KK run offenses were being done in the PH3 circle - PH3 is the only recognised hash in Phuket!!! Good Steward spot. 

The GM is amazed what he hears during the circle, apparently Jamie (BB's Nephew's girlfriend) asked the GM if it was possible for the lady taking the photos to take a family photo for her, the GM said yes, he would arrange for Hash Flash to take the photo.  Jamie asked what her name is, GM replied "Virgin My Arse" Jamie replied, all excited "oh me too!!"  So Jamie, VMA and Rae (BB sister) all in the circle, the only 3 anal virgins on the hash!  So quite often at the hash Juan Palorista can been seen taking photos.  We all know in this digital age, these photos can be up on the internet and circulating on Facebook within minutes.  So the GM was delighted to see that JP had finally uploaded and shared is photos after 7 weeks!!! Do you remember the hash, it was when Moonwalker and GP Arse were the stewards, and they were that good, they should breed them.  It looks like that hasn't happened yet!!  Minnie Mouse iced for mouthing off, GM warned next person to speak would join her.  "Ohhh" from Sir Bollox, so he joined her, and stuck his naked arse in her face before sitting on the ice.  GM warned again that anybody else talking would take MM place - the dumb fuck Hawaiian Ho couldn't keep his mouth shut, so he traded places with MM.  Ape Man's lady was in the circle, and iced, just because!!!  

Departer:  Anal Grapes, who was actually swimming on the ice (you will need to see the photos for that one!).  Run Master (Murkury) didn't do the run today, after birthday celebrations last night, didn't feel fit for running only the walk!!!  All agreed Good Run.   

On On

Double Down Down