Scribe Report:                         Run  No. 1356                     Saturday  3rd March 2012

Hares: Barbara Woodhouse, Dicksappointing, Virgin My Arse & Gorgeous        

Total Pack 98 : PH3 86,  Virgins 3,  Visiting Hashers 7,  New Members 2.


So following the move down the hill, the circle opened, maybe we will be here for 10 minutes, but if the smoke stops, and the gate opens, we may be back up there.  Anyway, wherever the circle is the pack will just follow the beer truck like children following the Pied Piper! Hares in; Gorgeous was only the advisor, but as the senior hare, he is responsible for the utter chaos!! Dicksappointing didn't do anything, Virgin My Arse did fuck all, and Barbara Woodhouse laid the paper so was iced!!! Gorgeous was responsible for the PR so why wasn't the gate unlocked by 4pm and why was there a smoke screen most of the evening!? Not only did Barbara Woodhouse lay the paper, he also blocked JC in, with all the beer in his truck! According to BW JC had a gap to reverse into bigger than all the fannies he has ever shagged in his life! Hares in again, as the circle is now on the road, so have to allow time for the traffic to pass through, ice moved towards the edge of the circle.  Three Welshmen in, enough for the Triple Crown and to celebrate St Davids Day - do we love all things Welsh? We do now, 40 baht beers! Another motorbike through, a warning issued by the GM, NOT to buy anything off him, we would never get him out of the circle.  According to Sir Bollox, Chicken George told the GM this week that PH3 isn't as good as the hashes in Malaysia, and that the Down Down song needs changing!! So here we go; This is your Down Down song, It isn't very long.......  And another one; Three big beers, Three big beers, See how they foam, see how they foam ...... Denis, a visitor was iced, he was in the circle taking photos, more than the Hash Flash at times and generally getting right on the GM's tits with his camera!!!  

Returners:  Puppy Lube(?), Lucky Lek, Berthless Boatie, Suck it and See, Cock Sucker.  Visiting Hashers:  Uncle Jerry, Jeab, Tight Fit, Bald Pirate (who had 50% of his face sun-tanned!) Effing and Blinding and Uncle Festa;  Effing and Blinding enjoyed a drink with blue arms.  New Member:  Son of Nugget and some cunt called Warren who is a faggot (according to SA Dick Gobbler - not sure how he knows he is a faggot though?).  So Warren reckons he is some sort of hard guy, but his best mate reckons he should be called Puppy Dog (he will hate being called something so sweet) - saying that one of the items in his shorts pocket was a roll of toilet roll - so his name is Puppy Shit.  Son of Nugget, according to Blue Harlot, a small nugget is called a Dingleberry, so Dingleberry it is.  Welcome to PH3.  Dr Fucking Jekyll in late, as he was babysitting a couple of the visitors - they didn't want to follow paper, even though DFJ told them to - they could see the runners on the top of a ridge, and decided to head that way - directly across the valley, which certainly wasn't a shortcut!  

Virgin Steward - Brown Nose Cunt (aka Adam - his hash name has been withdrawn):  Swollen Colon iced, and virgin Jen sat on his knee - for no reason apart from the fact SC had asked for it - so owes Adam several beers.  SA Dick Gobbler was stirring the shit (green eyed monster me thinks) saying SC has two wives and 4 kids.  Visitor Denis iced, apparently he told Adam he was that hot that he would love to sit on the ice to cool down, your wish is Adam's command.  Nothing called Adam in the week, he had broken his TV and couldn't get a picture on it. Adam went round and the only problem was Nothing hadn't plugged the ariel in - duhhh!  North American humour isn't the same as the rest of the world - Apparently approximately 51% of them don't believe in evolution, 40% do believe but that it was initiated and administered by God - so that means only a tiny % of them are correct.  Fat Michael Schumacher (apparently that was a complement to Julie Andrews!) received a down down, because he looks like Michael Schumacher!  Adam was panicking about his virgin steward spot and GM invited him over to his house to provide him with some tips and handy hints about how it should be done.  After several glasses of wine they got talking about fast cars, women's underwear and the feelings Jungle Balls has for his wife.  They were talking and the slushy, loving words that JB was saying about Clitmas Pussy, Adam wrote down, there was that many Adam wrote a song from them.  JB was far too shy to sing this song to CP, but Adam wasn't.  Wow, Adam certainly has a way with the ladies, CP was all over him like a rash, he is the Barry White of the Hash.  There were shouts of Rule 6 and Get a Room at one stage!  SA Dick Gobbler did worry about what else had happened that night Adam visited JB!!?? There have been some good virgin steward spots in the last couple of months, but the GM thought this one was excellent.   

Numbered Runs:  Diplomat - 25 (only took him 9 years! He has done 47 runs, but only registered for 25!), Stupid Canard - 25, Blue Harlot was asked if he wanted 'Take it off, put it on" he replied yes - Suck it and See - 50, SA Dick Gobbler was asked if he wanted 'Take it off, put it on' he also replied yes - Barbara Woodhouse - 100!! Dr Fucking Jekyll has been moaning to the GM that his wife has yet to receive her 25 run t-shirt, well she is never here to receive it - same as today, somebody mentioned shopping to her!  Parasol Pussy was on the bike hash with Adam and Stupid Agent Dick Gobbler, which was held off the Island, and having driven for some time, they found the dirt track to the Laager and what should they find, 6 km off the main road but a beautiful sports car, according to SADG it was a Lotus and it was brand spanking new.  This Lotus belongs to Adam, after the hash, kids being kids, they all decided to have a race, SADG was up Parasol Pussies arse (well bumper to bumper) and Adam wasn't far behind - I have never seen PP look so happy with herself when she reported that she beat the Lotus - whop whop! Minnie Mouse had a lovely pale green dress on (with her blue hash shirt underneath - which SADG asked her to remove which would make the dress look even more beautiful).  The dress was a birthday gift from Mind the Gap for Minnie Mouse following a visit to Singapore.  Unfortunately her large tits are not large enough to fit into the dress.  Minnie Mouse had the perfect model for the dress, Big Bollox - unfortunately he couldn't even get it over his head!  MM enjoyed a down down from BB cleavage, and she returned the delight for him.   

Steward - Big Bollox:  He is fucking pissed off and fucking angry, he is a Steward, and NOBODY has given anybody any respect, the pack are a heap of shit and need to wind their necks in while people are in the circle - just shut the fuck up!!! In fact he is that angry he could kiss Barbara Woodhouse (now he must be angry!).  The late French cunts have come in after 2 1/2 hours - it is not a ramble it is a fucking hash.  Minnie Mouse thought that Big Bollox had left the HHH signs after being the hare at Christmas - wrong, it was fucking JC the week after him!! He is angry at Lost Buffalo - who he mat at the Expat last week, he was moaning that his weekly bill had increased from $600 to $750, that is because McDonalds have started making smaller portions and he has to buy more.  Houston Basher, who is named after Bobby Brown, and he is just like Bobby Brown, he hasn't stopped drinking since the tart snuffed it.  HB enjoyed breakfast in bed yesterday, he said it was good, but doesn't remember eating carrots and sweet-corn!? Lord Louis the Lip, who is a generous man and the sole of discretion - who is nearing snuffing age!! BB asked LLtL if he carried a Donor Card, "Seeing as I am Jewish I only carry a price list" came the reply.  Lost Buffalo and Chicken George, who are now dog trainers - their dogs were shagging just outside the circle - gay dogs!!! Lost Buffalo wishes it was him as he hasn't had a good shag in ages.  Big Bollox was out the other night with Pole Position, it didn't quite go to plan, as her husband was there.  BB told PP that he could tell her what day she was born, but he had to feel her tits to do this.  "OK" she says, and BB cops a feel of her tits "so what day was I born?" BB replies "Yesterday!"  The GM was iced (now you don't see that every day!) - there are some stupid cunts, some real dumfucks and then there is the GM!! Who would come on the hash with no running shoes and no change of clothing!?  The GM does!  Although he blames Clitmas Pussy for it.  Jesus that song Adam sang her has really got her going - RULE 6 / Get a Room!! Good steward spot.   

So much talking through BB Steward spot (even though he was angry!!), one voice could be heard above all others - a female Irish voice - visitor Maria was iced.  Departers:  JC, Singha Gold and Lost Buffalo.  Minnie Mouse seemed rather upset that JC could be leaving the hash for 1 year!? Run Master asked the circle if there were any complaints, Julie Andrews advised that not ever change of direction needs to be a check.  Plenty of vocal opinions being shouted out - Swollen Colon, SA Dick Gobbler and many others called for Hash Shit.  A dispute began and there were calls for Good Run.  As I heard it, there was a huge call for Hash Shit for Barbara Woodhouse and Good Run for Dicksappointing, Gorgeous and Virgin My Arse.    

Please Note:  If any of the above is wrong, it is your own fault, I couldn't hear a fucking word at times.  Like Big Bollox said, have some courtesy for those involved with running the circle - if you have got so much to say, stand up and be counted as a Steward!!!!! 

On On

Double Down Down