Hares in and the GM announced One New Year, One Run and One Fuck Up! GM really enjoyed the run, but had only intended to do the walk! There were some beautiful views especially when he was following Minnie Mouse and Twice Nightly. Returners: Minnie Mouse and according to Blue Harlot she had been eating too much Dutch Sausage! The 4 Sydney Boy Virgins were next in, Testicle Tom made sure he had a good rear view as they drank their beer on their knees! The rest of the Virgins were in, and weren't they lucky they didn't get ice cold showers with their beer! New Member: Son of Frankenstein, Singha could be heard commenting on how well he had been put together. Big Bollox introduced us to his one lady fan club - love the t-shirt I♥BB. Visiting Hashers: from Manilla, Abu Dhabi, Penang and Gothenburg. The circle wished Froggy a Happy Birthday in their usual fashion.

Run Offenses: Manneken Pis arrived at the hash and said to Froggy "Hello Old Man" worryingly Froggy replied "Hello my Little Dick!!" (all in French apparently). MP was concerned to see 3 little Thai girls running away from the circle when the GM blew the horn for Circle Up, more concerning was that Blue Harlot was chasing them. Apparently only shooing them away - yeah right! BC asked if anybody knew where he could buy some Viagra - plenty of answers provided. Rushing Around re-enacted how she lovingly removed all of the grass seeds from Dropabolokov's knee protectors with a beer bottle top!! Comments regarding how well trained she is! No Hope was surprised to see the foot-ware that Jon Bon Jovi and his girlfriend were wearing - Flip Flops and Wedge Heel dancing shoes not quite hash attire! Swollen Colon thanked Blue Harlot for being a rude but true cunt for saying that SC would be good to run behind as he would provide a great windbreak seeing has he has put a bit of lard on. Good to see that Flubba and Top Off have continued on from the Tin Man, with their gambling a beer on who can win, 1-1 now! We all know SA Dick Gobbler spent time in Sydney in his younger days, and the comment was made as to what a great likeness there was between SADG and Anthony (Sydney boy virgin). Could Anthony be SADG Illegitimate son? When asked if Anthony knew who his father was, his reply was "He is" pointing to SADG! Following on from SADG comment last week of following the wrong people - apparently he was leading the pack today (bullshit!!) and stopped at a junction wondering which route to take - running him down was Julie Andrews - JA ran past shouting "Stop Thinking - Just Run" which is exactly what SADG did - and ended up following Julie Andrews to Phang Nga Bay! Moral of the story is don't follow and you will have nobody else but yourself to blame when you get lost!!! BC called the Hares in (well he actually called them Anal Come Swapping Whores), BC was running like a nigger that had just stolen a stereo and was sure he had got himself confused as was running the route for a second time. JC asked what do BC and Ejackulator have in common, well Ejackulator also got confused on the run, but he stopped and got out his notebook to have a look at his notes to remind himself what the hares had said before the run!  Before the run the GM heard Vacant Plot saying that he wanted to beat Creature FTBL back into the circle, all because he doesn't like following her now as she doesn't wear her dinky little shorts anymore. Julie Andrews iced for generally winging and moaning.

1st Steward - Vacant Plot: VP was slightly concerned to see Google Ass asking other runners to blow the Hash Horn after he had stuck it down his shorts! More worryingly he quite often sticks it down the back of his shorts (enter stage left Testicle Tom!). VP asked Visitor Olaf how many runs he had done, according to him 3, according to Registrations it is 6! Apparently the reason for the telling of 'non-truths' is because he doesn't want a hash name! Well seeing as he is German and a Lawyer, there is only one name for him - Shitler. On January 7th 1999 there was a ground breaking day in USA - Bill Clinton was impeded for spraying gism over an intern. So our own BC was asked: "What is the difference between you and the Titanic?" "Only 200 women went down on the Titanic." "Bill, what is your definition of safe sex?" "Waiting for Hillary to leave town!" "So then Bill, when your aid came into the Oval Office and asked you how he should deal with the Abortion Bill, your reply was?" "Just pay it and keep your mouth shut!" and final question "Was Monica lying?" "No, she was on her knees!" Monica (Itchy Cunt) wanted her say about this whole situation:

"I have had enough. This whole experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I can't stomach any more. I feel as if I am getting the shaft, that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in my face. This may be a load to handle, but when things are hard, that is when I am at my best. I have faced hard things in the past, and I know what is coming. I will meet this challenge the only way I know how, head on. I have licked bigger things than this before, and I will again. No one will ever be able to say that Monica isn't a finisher, that she quit before the job was done. I will work non-stop and fight this, blow by blow, until I am wiped clean of this dirty affair. I will not be stained by it. You may be the President of the United States of America but you can have some of your own gism and see how you like it!"

Although BC could be heard that it didn't taste like his gism! Talking of ejaculations Ejackulator was asked "What is the longest sentence known to man?" "I do!" Also did you know that wedding rings are the worlds smallest handcuffs! According to VP when he got married he said to his wife to be, I don't have a problem with sex before marriage, but 2 minutes before isn't acceptable. So with the help of Creature FTBL there are some meanings that Ejackulator really needs to know: When the wife says "Yes" she means "No". When she says "No" she means "No". When she says "We need to talk" she means "I need to complain". When she says "I heard a noise" she means "I noticed you were almost asleep" Worryingly at this stage, Barf Wader commented that he is always asleep! One of those tumbleweed moments! Apparently he used to fall asleep at the quiz night quite offten!?!? Finally, If she says "Are you listening to me?" It's too late you are doomed!!! As Ejackulator left the circle he could be heard saying "I do have some pre-wedding concerns....." "JACK" came from Creature FTBL and that was the last we heard! Excellent Virgin Steward spot.

SA Dick Gobbler wanted to continue with the goodwill of Christmas, he had heard that Giggli Wurm didn't receive any Christmas presents, so he kindly presented her with some money. He was then duly iced for buying the favours of an 8 year old, and there is to be NO grooming on the hash. Barbara Woodhouse saw Ejackulator and Creature FTBL in Patong recently, and he heard Creature say to EJ that her family wanted to buy them a wedding present. EJ saw a Chemist Shop, and decided to go in and asked what they stocked: They stock Heart tablets, Blood Pressure tablets, sleeping tablets, memory tablets, heartburn tablets, wheel chairs, walking sticks - EJ suggested to Creature that the Chemist makes a list and it can be given to her family as a wedding list.

2nd Steward - Rude as Fuck: As Swollen Colon was a Steward last week, and RaF had been postponed for several weeks, SC had stolen most of his material - thieving bastard. SC was in Patong with Murkury last week, and they did a runner from paying their bar bill. The police finally caught up with Murkury in a an ally way and said to him "If we ever find your mate, we will shove this baton right up his arse!" "I'm in the bin!" SC went to the doctors this week and told him "Every time I look in the mirror I get a hard on!" the doctor replied "That's because you look like a cunt!" So then, what is the difference between an orphanage and a biscuit tin - nobody ever picks the ginger ones. SC son was going out to meet his girlfriend, and SC said "Don't forget you know what", his son was a little embarrassed and said "Do you want me to take condoms?" SC replied "No, a hat you ginger cunt!" A survey was done, and did you know that Whites start smoking at the age of 16, Blacks start smoking at 13 years and Gingers start smoking when sunlight touches them! It has been heard that some people think you don't get black gingers. Well yes you do - they are called Orangutans! Apparently Itchy Cunt's boyfriend bought her an alcohol free lager last week! The doctor says that he will be able to walk in 2-3 weeks time. According to IC sex is like running an 8km run! Who the hell can run 8km in 60 seconds? IC sent her boyfriend a 'Get Better' card, not because he is ill but because he is shit at sex! A woman's mouth is no different to her arse - your Penis goes in and shit comes out! BC still can't get over the fact that Obama thinks he has Irish Blood in him. I know we all drink loads, but have never known an Irish man shag a Monkey! Three black men in a car, who is driving? The police man. You do have to feel sorry for African/Americans - not only are they black, but they have to deal with the fact that they are American's too! A white guy from Texas is in hospital and needs an operation - he tells the surgeon "Don't give me no Nigger blood!" After the operation the surgeon says "Do you want the good news or the bad news first" "Give me the bad news" Surgeon replies "we had to give you 1 pint of Nigger blood and 1 pint of Paki blood" but the good news is "you have now got a 12 inch dick, and are at the top of the housing list!" A black guy with Alzheimer's robbed his own house last week! What's gold and striped and looks good on a Nigger? A Bengal Tiger. Good Steward Spot.

BC carried on with the theme - which lands first from the tree - the apple or the nigger. The apple does as the rope stops the nigger! Ejackulator said to Creature FTBL "when we are married I will give you the whole 12 inches" "Great I can't wait" replies Creature, don't get too excited though, it comes in 4 installments! Departer: Glazed Donut.

Run Master (JC) thought it was a good run this week, but Flying Dickhead could be heard moaning and bitching about it all the way round and continued saying Hash Shit should be called! He soon shut up though! Everybody agreed Good Run. Beer Master caught out, so extra beers to Vacant Plot, Rude as Fuck, Manneken Pis, Barbara Woodhouse, Ejackulator and Creature FTBL. Julie Andrews iced again for mouthing off (as usual!).