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If
the GM did say so himself, he thought the run / walk was great!!
Murkury, from afar, made an announcement - but utter confusion arose as
most couldn't hear him - it seems he was behind a bush, far far away,
taking a dump (thank heavens he was far enough away that we couldn't
smell him!!!).
As this was a t-shirt run, it was only right that those that weren't wearing their t-shirts were in the circle and handing it back. There was a shortage of larger sizes - those that wanted a larger size had to tell a joke!! In typical Flying Dickhead fashion his joke was no one-liner - something about a whore and not liking what he was saying!? Moving onto SA Dick Gobbler; What is the worst thing about licking out Grandma - hitting your head on the coffin!!! Big Fella; Happy New Year to all at Phuket HHH. Well done Big Fella - got yourself a t-shirt. Moving onto the next size - Apeman; Bear and a Rabbit take a shit in the wood, bear asks the rabbit - "do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" the rabbit replies "no I don't" - so the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit! Nothing; What do you call a whore with a runny nose - Full!! They both got themselves a t-shirt. Returners: Lesser Dipshit, Vacant Plot, Flubba amongst a few. Ape Man iced for allowing his phone to keep ringing - he didn't answer it because he didn't know it was his! However, he took a seat on the ice, and his whole bottle of beer tipping over him certainly stopped the phone from ringing. Virgins: Stanta(?), George Biggot and Danny. Froggy was coaching on how to drink with blue arms, so he was iced. They did pretty well, then Froggy and Always Wet showed them how it should be done, AW had this strange technique of opening and closing her legs while she was drinking! Anything for a free drink eh!? George Biggot did a great job with two blue arms - got his technique just right. Thai Poo Yings in - a new game, using the 5XL shirt made especially for Lost Buffalo - How many Thai Poo Yings can you get inside one t-shirt - now with the extra help provided by SA Dick Gobbler (he is always involved!!!) there was a total of 8 - Yes you read right - 8 inside the t-shirt. According to SADG if they all took their own shirts off could get more in!! Visiting Hasher: Blue Sailor. Double Down Down in for a birthday drink. Big Bollox in - asking for silence - but for the French it was "French fucking shut up!" With his 'Ode to SADG: It really was Klong’s fault, he made the
call
I said I was doing nothing, nothing at all How about a beer when just one or two There's nobody else it's just me and you So we started in Expat with a couple of the greens Then down to Bangla to look at the queens A couple in Shipwreck then the Aussie Bar Everything was going just great, so far Scruffy was OK till the band started to play We headed off; it was so loud to stay A quick one in Tiger and then up to Crocodile We had six in there, while she had a nice smile It was then that he said with a groan I'm pissing off now Gim’s taking me home The bastard just left me alone on the street So back to the bar well she was rather neat A few more Hinys, a Whisky or four It was then I realised I could not see the floor Time to go home, before I can't stand Tuk-Tuk Man said I'll take you for a grand I managed to get home and into my room She wasn't there so it saved me some gloom I got my clothes off and fell on the bed Passed out like a light as if I was dead I remember that I rolled over and let out a fart It was then that I felt a strange pain in my heart You dirty bastard, You smelly Pig Then she gave me another dig You go on about paper and using the hose They at least use the toilet and not the bed clothes Get to the shower then sleep in the shed I will clean up and change the bed So boys and girls this advice is for you If you go out with Klong have no more than two. Run offenses: None to begin with - SADG then came rushing into the circle - obviously too busy mouthing off again!! Top Off and Parasol Pussy were both running well - but not as well as SADG (bullshit the circle reckoned!) who was leading the pack??? SADG let PP run ahead - only so he could check out her arse but then makes the wrong decision to follow Top Off - who takes him all the way around the lake - and not across the lovely bridge that had been provided. JC is not happy that most of the dog owners cannot control their dogs - however President seems to have total control over her dogs - especially when it comes to picking it up!! Dambuster presented the GM with a New Year gift - a framed copy of a picture of him taking a leak (don't worry, it is from the back not the front!). Although the French pack did struggle as to who it was in the photo even after Murkury had given it away! Flubber was asked by JC to head back and remove the lovely piece of wood that was the bridge this week, kindly donated by Ejackulator, just lifted it up and heading back, and who should come along but Ejackulator needing to use his own bridge! With a bit of help, the bridge was back in place ensuring Ejackulator could keep his feet dry. Manneken Pis has never heard such a loud cheer when Assterix pushed Google Ass and GA returned the gesture - and Assterix ended up waist deep in a hole :) Motormouth was impressed with the different crossing techniques at the bridge, Assterix just launched straight into the water, Murkury was on his hands and knees crawling across it. GM was interested to see what high class Down Down's Rushing Around was drinking - home brew whisky and ice!! 1st Steward - Reverend Fingerlicker: Dishing out punishments for two Thai Poo Yings who delayed the Hash Bush from Patong - it didn't even stop by a beer shop!! Houston Basher was getting himself all confused as to where he does a visa run and takes photos of a woman he met in silk PJ's - now was it Rangoon or Ranong!? I don't think HB still knows!? Sheepshagger was even worse with his geography knowledge - didn't have a clue about Knoxville, Lexington, Fort Knox, Kentucky - saying that neither do I ;) As an American Reverend Fingerlicker can speak for Jesus! RF is at a race-meeting at Keenland race course and in the 9th race there is Louis the Lip running (12-1 odds) - and the race results said that he was gaining with every stride - it is not known if he is still running or finished the race? LLtL was very pleased about his namesake doing well - although Blue Harlot reckons it will be dog food next week! All Aussies in, including SADG, although soon kicked out as not a true Aussie apparently? Although it could be herd that the circle thought he was more Abo than Aussie? A 19 year old Aussie Rules player is the lead hunter at Louisiana State University using new techniques! Good steward spot. Disparu impressed the GM on his bike riding techniques and how Madame Disparu was left literally standing when he took off on the bike, and she took off backwards! 2nd Steward - Swollen Colon: French Catholics in (including Assterix who would change religion for a free beer!) - what is the difference between Acne and Catholic Priests - Acne waits until you're a teenager before coming over your face! SC wanted to know why some of the French pack shave their pubic hair - apparently all the porn stars do it to make their dicks look big - French need all the help they can get! Virgin My Arse keeps sneezing and according to Dicksappointing when she sneezes she experiences an orgasm, she is taking something for it though - Pepper! According to SC white women struggle to find themselves a guy here! Itchy Cunt was in Boots the Chemist and asked if they stocked XL condoms, which apparently they do, when asked if she wanted to buy some, she replied "no I'll just wait here until somebody buys some" As a child, Flying Dickhead's family didn't have to buy anymore Christmas presents - apparently his Sister was going out with a Muslim and he heard his Dad say "that's the last thing we fucking need." Paper said to JC that he only likes sex when his drunk - JC replied "I like kebabs too!" SC bailed Naahee Man out of jail recently, he visited the muslim market in Patong and asked for a bomber jacket! Ejackulator is looking forward to the new 911 Porsche being released he posted on Facebook this week that he couldn't wait for the new 911 - he now has 400 muslims wanting to be his friend. Why don't Blacks go on cruises - they fell for that one before. What did the cannibal do when he dumped his wife - wiped his arse. Good Steward spot. Froggy 100 runs, Vacant Plot 50 runs. Dr Fucking Jekyll did a Hash Music slot, it was the 'Reindeers Resignation Song' - A great song, to the tune of Jingle Bells the chorus went like this; Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Fuck off you fat cunt!! I'm no longer following that red nose cunt up front! 3rd Steward - Blue Harlot : Happy to be performing in a nice tight circle, this hasn't happened for a long time. BH was telling a French joke in a bar the other night, a French guy got quite offended and didn't find the joke funny - he said to BH "I am French, was born in Paris in July 1940" Err technically you are a German then! Itchy Cunt, Virgin My Arse and Double Down Down were interested to hear that 3 women won the Nobel Peace Prize this year - according to BH he reckons it was because they shut the fuck up for a whole year! BC asked BH the other day "if you really wanted to have sex with a girl but found out she was 15, what would you do?" of course BH replied "I would ask if she had any younger sisters!" BC also bought a Christmas tree and the assistant asked "will you be putting that up yourself?" he replied "No you sick fuck, I'll be putting it up in my living room!" BC returned to the states and found that his favourite bar now had a black barman. BC asked "beer please nigger" the barman was furious and suggested that BC swap places with him to see how he liked being on the receiving end of such racist comments. Swap places they did and the black guy said "Beer please honkey" BC replied " sorry mate we don't serve niggers here!" Lord Louis the Lip thanked Dr Fucking Jekyll for bringing over some Tetley teabags for him - according to the instructions all you need do is 'agitate the bag' So every morning LLtL slaps his misses on the arse and says "two sugars fatty!" LLtL and his louisms! The local kids in Kamala keep taking the piss out of LLtL Alzheimer's, which is annoying him! He can't wait to see their faces on Christmas morning when they find no eggs under the tree! SADG came home pissed as a fart the other night, and FA Cup told him that he was pissed, he totally disagreed, even though he was wobbling all over the place and had vomit all down his t-shirt. I'm not pissed he shouted - OK she says "can you tell the time" so SADG walks over to the wall clock and shouts "I'm not fucking pissed!" Some strange things happened over the last week while BH was listening to his local radio station on line and the TV was tuned in to BBC News, these things happened simultaneously: BBC - Report about Wikileakes court case and founder being extradited to Sweden Radio - Playing Careless Whisper by George Michael BBC - Heavy snowfalls in Russia and Northern China Radio - Playing White Christmas by Bing Crosby BBC - The first baby born on Christmas Day was in Bethlehem 1 minute after midnight Radio - Playing A child is born by Johnny Mathis BBC - In Nigeria 48 niggers killed in bomb blasts on Christmas Day Radio - Oh! I wish it could be Christmas Everyday by Slade! Good steward spot. Murkury as stand in Run Master - was pretty quick as there was a lot of partying to get on with! As Murkury was first to the top of the hill - morally he was the winner! All agreed it was Good Run (although I'm sure I heard somebody calling for Hash Shit - BW??). Happy
New Year and On On
Double Down Down |