Father Christmas (GM) thought it was a good short run today, it was flat to the top of the hill and flat back down again!   Dr Fucking Jekyll was a good virgin hare.  JC recruiting Hares for January and February - any volunteers to contact Hare Master via the PHHH website.  There is a severe shortage of volunteers Hares, Please support PHHH - it is your hash!!!!!

Returners:  There was a bucket load - too many to name.  As this run was a RED run, there was a prize for the Hasher and Harriet that made the most effort - outright Hasher winner was Sir Bollox although I wasn't sure if he was a Hasher or a Harriet!?  Four Harriets; Twice Nightly, Virgin My Arse, Clitmas Pussy and Jiggly Juggs - after each of them presented themselves in the circle, with a couple of them giving a quick flash of their knickers (they will do anything for a prize!) it was agreed that Twice Nightly was the winner.  Well done to the Virgins who had more sense than was first thought - they enjoyed their drinks with their blue arms!  Visiting Hashers: Another bucket load, and well done to the GM who got them all in one swoop with the iced water! New Member:  Welcome to Sanook. 

Run Offenses:  Houston Basher was surprised to see Show No Mercy and Motormouth at the  RED hash, but not wearing RED!!  Apparently SNM was thinking of getting a red dress made, but didn't!!  More worryingly MM was going to bring one he already owned!!  HB was enjoying way too many free Down Downs, he must be on a limited budget!!! JC was surprised to see Sir Dubai wearing nothing in RED, was too late to do the run and he wasn't happy that the beers weren't 50 baht! There was huge(?) disappointment that BC didn't live up to his words and that he was going to wear a red mankini! He did do an impromptu Hash Music slot, his alternative Christmas song including the lines: Pussy smells like fish, doesn't really matter, still my favourite dish .... Naahee Man was sure the GM was in Kamala last night, as Father Christmas had asked him if he had been a good boy - and he had already told him he was! Naahee Man was also very surprised to see Son of Frankenstein in his local SCB bank this week.  With all the lovely bank tellers being very helpful and polite and SoF spoke in a rather loud voice "I know you - you are smelly cunt face from the PHHH" well the girls didn't know where to put themselves! We all know it is Jesus' birthday tomorrow, but today is Clitmas Pussy's birthday - as always the circle did a lovely rendition of Happy Birthday for her! Although BC could be heard singing "why was she born so long ago" - brave man! Hash Flash (Virgin My Arse) failed in her duty to capture CP in the circle, as she was too busy taking a piss, although she claimed she wasn't - so it must have been a dump?

Hash Music:  The Mosquito and The Fly with their BZZZ song - you will certainly have to check out the video on the PHHH website - very funny indeed!

All the Hares since GM started this year in the circle, as this is the time of year for giving gifts, each one received a beer condom (Creature FTBL very happy as it was stock she was struggling to get rid of!), also included were Hash Flash and Hash Scribe.  Plenty of numbered run t-shirts this week:  Bullet Rash 500, Hawaiian Ho 100, Jungle Balls 100, Pole Position 25, Butt Cycle 25 and Virgin My Arse 25.  When SA Dick Gobbler was Police Piss he gave the French Pack some serious grief - well revenge is sweet - each of the French pack pored a down down into SADG new trainers - although for some reason these really expensive Adidas trainers had drainage holes - cheap shite!! 

1st Steward - Manneken Pis:  Warning - Children to leave the circle now, don't moan to MP later!! Ratatouille was iced, as he was the one that introduced MP to PHHH - now everybody thinks MP is a French cunt!  Big Fella was washing he shoes after the run and he felt something soft inside one of them - he had a frog in his shoe (not sure if it was dead or alive after having BF foot on it's back all the way round that run!?).  Parasol Pussy took a holiday last Christmas, once she arrived at her destination she hired herself a car - driving behind a lorry, which stopped at traffic lights, PP jumped out of her car, knocked on his window, introduced herself and explained that he was loosing some of his load.  The lorry driver ignored her and took off again - at the next set of red lights, PP did the same, and again was completely ignored.  At the next set of lights, PP does the same, but still she was ignored, however at the next set of lights, the lorry jumps the red lights, and pulls up as does PP.  The lorry driver jumps out, knocks on PP window and says "my name is Kevin, it is winter in Canada and this is a salt truck."  MP took a piss the other day, but it must have been an African there before him as there was no water left.  Creature FTBL has beautiful small feet, most women do have small feet, it allows them to get closer to the sink.  Most 40 year old women have a dream, which is to have children, Blue Harlot's dream is to just date them! BC was explaining to MP that too much wifi can damage your sperm, however in BC experience too much sperm can damage your laptop.  Did you know that by drinking 8 large glasses of water a day, equates to 1kg of e-coli over a year - so like drinking 1kg of poo!!  However if you drink wine / spirits / beer there is no worry of that as everything is fermented out.  So your choice you could end up being like Houston Basher a drunk - or full of shit like Testicle Tom!  Manneken Pis hated going to weddings when he was younger all his Aunties used to dig him in the ribs saying "it will be you next", however they have soon stopped that as now he does the same to them but at funerals.  Did you know that Mark Twain wrote "nothing is lower than the human race" ' apart from the French'.  Got any idea what the difference is between a French woman and a basket ball team - well a basket ball team showers after 4 periods.  Did you know what the first thing that the French Army teach their recruits - how to surrender in 10 different languages.  So Mr and Mrs Naahee Man are staying at Big Fella's house - Mrs Naahee Man just got out of the shower and NM was in the shower, there was a knock at the door and Mrs NM answered it and there was BF.  He asked Mrs NM would she drop her towel for 20,000 baht, what a way to earn some easy money - so drop her towel she duly did.  BF then handed over 20,000 baht.  Returning to the bathroom NM asked Mrs NM who was at the door, she told him it was BF, "oh good' replied NM "did he return the 20,000 baht I leant him?"  Did you know that in Indonesia if you are caught masturbating you can be decapitated!  Just think if that was the case in Europe, there would be nobody left.  In Cuba you can only have sex with your wife, and the first time this must be in the presence of your Mother in Law.  It is also illegal for you to have sex with your wife and daughter at the same time.  Can't see Blue Harlot moving to Cuba anytime soon? An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain - Ratatouille must be an ostrich!  So SA Dick Gobbler was GM 2 years ago, so you would think he would like to be involved with the goings on with the hash. Well at 1pm today, MP was asked by SADG where the hash was today.  According to SADG he has got a life and the hash isn't everything.  Good to see that MP will still abuse the French when he is the GM next year.  Good steward spot. 

Now for something seasonal the story of the Virgin Mary - according to the GM! You know this is going to be different with Virgin My Arse as Mary and Dicksappointing as Joseph!! So there we have Lord Louis the Lip wanting to count his Jews in Patong, Top Off trying to get them to eat his Kosher turkey curry - no pig at all.  King Klong is the Inn Keeper, with no room at his Inn, but they can stay in the empty shell that was once Faulty Towers.  Houston Basher stood in for Scud, but was having difficulty reading 'this Irish shit' but it was English HB!?  HB (aks Scud) being the dirty old sod's that he is plied Dicksappointing with beer, and has his wicked way with VMA (from behind!).  Being a fairy story the baby appears - yes you guessed it JC! Joseph is stunned "Jesus H Christ' where did that come from, VMA loves the name and reckons it has a nice Mexican ring to it and VMA keeps the baby Jesus. Happy Birthday Jesus - he's true blue! From one abortion to the another ......

2nd Steward - SA Dick Gobbler:  Shut the fuck up - make like you are all in Church!!  Lets get some Christmas spirt happening.  Swollen Colon and Naahee Man chatting in bar, Mrs SC  told Mrs NM that she was putting SC on a diet as he gets stoned, shit-faced and eats all the left overs.  Now all the left overs are being given to the stray dogs in their Soi.  Mrs SC also told Mrs NM that SC is always so drunk he stinks - and when she is in bed with him she gets drunk on his body odour! All the non residents were 'lectured' by SADG about Thailand being a 1st World Country, with the rest of the world being broke!  Did you know we wash our arses, the rest of you wipe yours and push your shit back up!!  If you lot can't afford to buy food, those that live here can get rice from the fields, and rat from the street!  Welcome to the Hash Rat - even had a hash top on seeing as it was in the circle.  French pack in, to be read a tabloid newspaper from Switzerland - and there wasn't a good thing about the French in there (but there wouldn't be from whichever country it was from!?).  The French tucked into the Hash Rat - maybe they thought it was horse?  SADG is not happy that the GM hasn't offered 20 baht beers every other week, like SADG did when he was GM.  That is probably whey GM and Clitmas Pussy now have a new Mercedes in their carport? Houston Basher ate the rest of Hash Rat - well it was free what did you expect! 

Pygmy and Mrs Pygmy thanked for their tray of sticky rice for the hash.  Blue Harlot could be heard "I miss her left arm!"  Run Master liked today's run, although there were shouts about Big Bollox being a lier - no hills my arse!!!  Good Run!  Second call for volunteer hares. 

Merry Christmas and On On

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