| Hares in, and you know when they have fucked up,
as they ice themselves! As Big Bollox is collecting money for the
Orphanage to buy Christmas Presents, there is an option to buy yourself
off the ice; pay a minimum of 50 baht to get off the ice, or pay 100
baht to nominate somebody to take your place! Manneken Pis did a
good job last week, GM loaned him his GM Jacket and when it was
returned MP had left his beer money in the pocket! Here's to the
next GM! Assterix iced by Manneken Pis and SA Dick Gobbler, the Bike / Pooying hash is being hared by The French Connection and Barf Wader - well not all the French Connection - Assterix is yet to turn up for any of the recce's! Returners: A huge amount of returners this week including; WC Fields; Vomit Bomber, Moonwalker, Virgin Pussy and Reverend Fingerlicker. Virgins: Again a load of virgins, including Angus and Russell. Bullet Rash iced as he hadn't shut up since the circle had started. Clitmas Pussy has been on her own for the last 10 days while GM back in the UK, when he left CP was fit and healthy, when he arrived back she is now a cripple - she fell out of the attic and got bruises everywhere. No answer to why she was in the attic, and apparently Blue Harlot was told she was going on a Bondage Weekend! So who knows?! Run Offenses: Hares iced, as SA Dick Gobbler cannot understand why Minnie Mouse and Pole Position can treat him so badly with that run when he is always so nice and pleasant to women - it's just not right! Bullet Rash got a bit confused with his Pussy's, he asked for Clitmas, then realised it should be Parasol, but she had gone, so he kept Clitmas; So there are all the runners queuing up behind the walkers and waiting in turn to cross the roped walkway across the waterfall - there were Brits, Yanks, Aussies, French (not necessarily in that order) and who comes running down the outside of the queue and just pushes their way to the front to get past - yep you guessed it Parasol Pussy and closely behind her was Top Off - Bastards!! Julie Andrew's wanted every one that had come to the Hash with his/her wife - there were plenty in! Sheepshagger had commented before the run that these guys that bring their wives only do so because half of them don't know where they live and they bring their wives to make sure they get home safe and sound! Julie Andrews registered at the Expat today, and the Virgin from the Expat that did the registrations (sorry I don't now your name) asked for his number - 597 and then wrote his name as Barbara Woodhouse. Well you can understand why - there is a likeness there somewhere?? If you are not sure - just ask. SA Dick Gobbler thinks that Creature FTBL should be a bit nicer to Ejackulator on the hash, she obviously wants to walk with him, but to walk 20m in front of him is not that loving is it!! Saying that maybe he has asked her to do that - so she can do all the checking for him and he just has a straight walk home!? Manneken Pis welcomed 3 French Hens Virgins into the circle, and asked the question (in English and French) "Would you got to the beach wearing walking shoes?" because they did they whole walk in Flip Flops / Thongs whatever you want to call their footwear! Saying that one of the female virgins had a 'thong' of another sort on - and SA Dick Gobbler lent her his skirt to avoid any further comments coming from the circle regarding animals feet!! Testicle Tom could be frantically heard asking for certain words to be translated into French! Minnie Mouse is very impressed with the GM, he only arrived back from his trip to the UK late on Friday night, he prepared for the circle and did that bastard of a walk! Barbara Woodhouse hash named the daughter of Wiggli and Giggli Wurm; welcome to Sweeti Wurm :) Visiting Hashers: Bomb Bastic Belly Bastard (I think!) from Taiwan, although Blue Harlot doesn't think he looks Asian! Also Bacco Himler(?) and something else in French according to Barbara Woodhouse who was asked to come in and read his own notes to help the GM out! Well done to BBBB who drank his beer while on his knees in all the rocks! Helped along the way with an ice cold beer water shower from Sweeti Wurm. First Steward - Saint Blow Job: Firstly he was iced by GM as it was his idea to pay to get off the ice - and he duly paid up. Cartoon iced as one of the Hares, not Minnie Mouse or Pole Position, they had sat enough on the ice so far. Cartoon was asked how many hills, apparently there were only 3 - so 3 down down's it was SBJ said "You fucked me up, I'm going to fuck you up!!" Kisses for Cartoon from Minnie Mouse. Clitmas Pussy in as she has been like a doberman (not shagging his leg) but just not letting SBJ get away without doing a steward spot. SBJ was looking at his old passport this week, and he realised that it has been 20 years ago that he did he first Saturday Hash and the person that persuaded him was Lord Louis the Lip (a huge amount of noise from the circle calling out Bastard and Ice Him!). LLtL couldn't afford to pay himself off the ice as he is a poor pensioner, so Minnie Mouse came to the rescue and payed for herself to be iced and LLtL sat on her lap, and appeared to have a lovely time! So how things have changed in 20 years, after SBJ first run, he would head off to a certain Go Go Bar, without having a shower, be up until 2am drinking, would pick up some chicken on his way home, sometimes would watch and video and sometimes not. Present day is; straight home after the run, shower, a couple of beers in the fridge, a lady pie pie into the oven, Star Sports, the wife wakes him up and says "your pissed, get to bed and your pie is in the dog!". We all know LLtL and his 'Louisisms' so in years gone by there was no satalite / UBC / Cable - just had to put up with videos, and it was always asked "is it a good copy?" Then came along the DVD, and on hearing somebody say "I have a new DVD" LLtL ears pricked up but he seemed a little confused. A couple of days later he told SBJ that he had booked himself an appointment at the hospital to get himself checked out for the new VD! You will be pleased to know the test was negative. Naahee Man iced, paid for by Minnie Mouse. A run offense saved from last week, there was Minnie Mouse, Blue Harlot, Saint Blow Job and Sir Bollox all running in that order (Big Bollox stood in for SB!) all running very closely together, infact there was only a pubic hairs thickness between Blue Harlot and MM arse. SBJ was very worried that behind him was Hash Music and that if MM took a tumble, everybody else would follow and SBJ would have 90kg of Hash Music on his back - not a pleasant experience according to Mrs Hash Music. Virgin My Arse does an excellent job as Hash Flash, in fact too good a job sometimes - VMA caught SBJ kissing Vacant Plot (apparently it was a staged photo, but I'm not too sure!?). Mrs SBJ saw the photo and asked "Why you kiss VP like that, we have been married 17 years and you not kiss me like that?" "Well I have only known VP 12 months that's why!" Plenty of furniture coming along to the hash, plastic chairs, wooden stools, camping chairs, all sorts of sitting furniture - but WC Fields has taken it to the extreme - he has bought along his balcony chairs, and no doubt there will be a table coming along next week! Good Steward Spot. GM is normally pretty relaxed about who can sit in a chair in the circle - but not this week - only former GM's of the Saturday Hash and the Scribe have this luxury. Everybody else that is sitting in a chair donated money to the orphanage for the privilege. I wonder if this will happen for all future hashes!? Mind The Gap celebrated her birthday this week, and in usual Hash fashion was wished a Happy Birthday. Also had some lovely new shoes on - but she didn't buy them herself - Julie Andrews did! So he had the wonderful pleasure of drinking his beer out of them - twice!! I'm sure he didn't mind? Second Steward – Cartoon: JC saw SA Dick Gobbler on a train last week - and SADG was sat very close to a nice looking lady, in fact they were that close that their legs were touching - SADG was thinking "don't get a hard on, don't get a hard on" he did well and didn't get a hard on but the 'girl' next to him certainly did!!! JC read an article that it has been scientifically proven that when you sneeze you experience 1/8 of an orgasm. So when he has sex he puts a pepper pot on the bedside table so when he comes he can throw pepper in her face and then at least she will get some pleasure also. Cartoon’s spot cut short as it was raining so heavily he couldn’t get his notes out and he’d done what he could from memory. Rude as Fuck iced for chickening out of his steward spot because it was pissing down with rain. Pole Position Virgin Hare this week. Run; Minnie Mouse, Pole Position and Cartoon it was agreed Good Run. Walk; JC lots of calls for hash shit, but Good Walk edged it. On On
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