Friends of Jason Richards in as a mark of respect. 

Itchy Cunt iced for walking in the opposite direction to the circle when GM called Circle Up! Hare in, GM enjoyed the walk, especially the flat bits - both yards! At leas the Laager was flat this week. 

Returners:  Whispering Grass and Sheepshagger, both been in England and Sheepshaager was only there to watch the Ruby World Cup on TV!!  Virgins:  Evelyne, Claude, Brigitte and Allan - only one virgin in. GM asked if two of the others were French or stupid or both?

Visitors:  Christian and Sunita. Visiting Hashers: Saddle Bags and Itchy Cunt. IC in the circle calling out "would you like to scratch it" Sheepshagger duly assisted in helping IC with her itch!. 

No Hope iced as most run offenses will include him! Blue Harlot was running on and on and up and up and up .... and come back knackered (as did everybody else!) and with bloodied arms and legs, NH only got water as likes to injure his fellow hashers. Bit a dispute (which actually set the scene for the rest of the circle) going on with Julie Andrews, Billy Boy and VC (the French cunt!) if he had been there. Something about paper, split trails, checking and JA thinking BB was shortcutting and vice versa! Gorgeous also thought JA was shortcutting(!), JA just running the wrong way apparently!? Mini Mouse was comparing legs with Billy Boy and how different they look (apparently he shaves and MM doesn't!). BB not fit this week, or MM super fit (and also Hash Horn!) - he was always behind her, very close, but always behind! MM congratulated the French pack, they are starting to speak English on the Hash - she was impressed with their repeated pronunciation of Fuck around the run. Clitmas Pussy thought SA Dick Gobbler was an inconsiderate runner on the walkers route, let a huge branch smack straight in her face! SADG couldn't see the problem in that! Most people said that SADG is just an run offense full stop! Bluey, said the Hare had got the timing about right but the 5 minute hill was hugely underestimated, although Murkury thought it should be longer! Billy Boy couldn't believe it when SA Dick Gobbler told him that he was late because he went to Patong View point and nobody was there! Not Cleaver was on his way up the 3rd hill and Flying Dickhead was explaining about the four members of his family that have died from heart related diseases - NC wasn't sure if he or FD would be next!? Flying Dickhead pleased that Ejackulator didn't take to walking on his own in the dark this week, although FD was a little concerned when EJ could be heard saying "not sure where we will end up" part way round the walk - at the Laager you fool!

1st Steward - No Hope:  SADG wasn't the only dumb cunt today, Apple took the navigator spot on the bus and also took us to the viewpoint! (That may have been down to the copious amounts of beer consumed before hand!?) Big Bollox happy that everybody sore and stiff after todays Hash, that means they will have early nights and be on time for tri-athalon volunteering! Tuk Tuk and She Knows Everything are your average couple here in Phuket, TT wants to go to the beach, but before that happens SKE needs a new beeeekeeeee nee, some grass (those things you wear to keep the sun out of your eyes!), thong/frip a frop, oceen (keep up ting tong falang - oceen not make skin brack!). This whole shopping experience has taken 5 hours, so TT can now go to the beach - oh no SKE needs to go sleeeeeeep now! For those that weren't around, Lord Louis the Lip brought a right little stunner with him to the Tsunami auction and he bought enough to equip her whole village. Since then he has become double bi-sexual - he wants to 'buy' sex and they go 'byeee'! NH saw Creature FTBL dropping of their washing, including loads of Ejackulator's pants (NH couldn't explain how he knew they were EJ pants!). EJ explained that the washing machine is broken - NH surprised to hear that Creature FTBL is broken?! NH recommended a cream for skin complaints to King Klong, Quadriderm, worryingly though Quadri = four and Derm = skin, so they have both been rubbing foreskin on their skin (not on each other I hope?).  Throughout the whole circle, SADG was attempting his 'Hash Police' role - which isn't easy - especially when SADG can't shut the fuck up most times! WTFI Alice and Froggy iced for mouthing off, Froggy not happy to be drinking the police piss either (some homemade concoction that wasn't very nice!), there was close to anarchy in the circle after this icing! (told you it was an argumentative circle today!).  Barf Wader was delighted to hear the Filipino Navy have a new patrol ship, it has one gun and 10 karaoke lounges.  It was discussed at length about the standard of driving here in Phuket - well we all know it is shit, but some of the nationalities enjoy it more than others - most of all JC who says fuck this lot, forces his car in front of everybody in the queue whilst opening his beer with is seatbelt!  Wiggly Wurm looks a lot like Yoko Ono who is appearing on the latest reality show 'I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here' - she is perfect for the show as she has been living off a dead Beatle for the last 35 years! Julie Andrews iced for being a big headed cunt, who has just opened a new shop in Jungceylon (some think it is a gay shop?!) called Mario Land!  Good steward spot.

Imagine the scene, as everybody was heading back to the Laager after our nice gentle inclines, there was the welcoming committee.  Sat at the prime position table in the Regge Bar were: Itchy Cunt, Always Wet, Houston Basher, Scud and Wiggly Wurm taking it nice and easy having a lovely cold beer or two! Scud commented that it was like watching the runners from the London Marathon coming back in! Tuk Tuk and She Knows Everything iced for mouthing off (amongst lots of others today!).

2nd Steward - Billy Boy:  Now the tone is going to be lowered! Hare iced again, 5 minute hill my arse, it took BB 15 minutes - NH still reckons 5 minutes tops - NH offered BB out for a race - NH told to shut the fuck up and sit on the ice! Julie Andrews good front runner, although was shouting checking when in fact he was on paper! Kaiser Bill and JA both did the '5 minute hill' but on the way down, they came in from the right and were off paper - so did they do the '5 minute hill' or did they short cut it???!! Always Wet and Double Down Down buying pies before hand, and AW reckoned she was going to buy the lot - Billy Boy said "carry on, I'll make you eat the lot in the circle".  DDD was buying for two and assured BB that they weren't all for her - yeah right! Big Bollox felt really sorry for Mini Mouse who had nobody to partner her for her triathlon marshaling - BB would have loved to do it, but 'er indoors won't allow it! Big Bollox reckons he wasn't tired or unfit going up the hill - he just wanted Mini Mouse to run past so he could run in close to MM arse! Barbara Woodhouse, Brunswick and Top Off all recently been bitten by animals, TO bitten by a dog and had rabies shot, Barbara Woodhouse also bitten by a dog, but the dog had the rabies shot and Brunswick bitten by a cat, which subsequently ended up in his neighbors pond after it was launched over the fence! Born Looser turned up at the bar the other night, no idea why as he said that he had just left 12 18 year old girls in his swimming pool - dozy bugger! King Klong turned up at last weeks and this weeks hash with a San Miguel beer - not the light shit the real premium lager. He reckons it is really good, so good in fact that he hasn't been able to run for these two weeks as too drunk! BB was surprised to see Murkury in his red, white and blue hash t-shirt, BB didn't even realise that he owned one, as he had never seen him hashing in it - "Oh no" says Murkury, "this is my driving shirt" the guy must have a shirt for every occasion drinking, eating and wanking! JC was helping out moving a trimaran this week, he was really enjoying himself, no swearing or ranting or raving - there was one thing that really confused him - there was a nut inside a box tube, and for the life of him he couldn't get any equipment in there to help him undo the said nut.  Spent 20 minutes trying to sort it out - then along comes Murkury sticks his hand in and undoes it - it wasn't even tightened up!! Bluey has been taking his son to school this week, and finds it hysterical that Blue Harlot has to stand at the front gates meeting and greeting parents and students, can't tell any dirty jokes about their daughters just has to stand there and be polite and boy does he look pissed off :) There is a new female teacher from America who he has managed to piss off in her first week of being there. She is used to teaching younger children and asked BH at what age do the Asian girls start to mature, BH replying "technically or in my opinion!"   Good steward spot

Come on girls, no hash attire - why? Saddle Bag spent all her money on beer rather than a t-shirt, Apple couldn't find a clean one of Singha's to wear, Cheap Potato said there were no Hash t-shirts to be bought anywhere on the island let alone at the hash and Barf Wader reckons they are not sexy enough.  Gorgeous reckons there are no hills next week - strong smell of bullshit wafting around!! Departers:  Not Cleaver and Bluey. SA Dick Gobbler reckons No Hope, french pack and Julie Andrews are the only ones that lay runs and everybody needs to get the hash into their arses!!!  Wake up the hash needs Hares!  Please note SADG got himself confused these guys have laid runs in the last three weeks - there are other Hares that work hard - just not enough Hares though! Run Master couldn't believe how much concrete there was on the 5 minute hill, it was as hot as shit but GOOD RUN.