Bullet Rash in as one and only Hare as JC not there! GM heard varying stories on the run, Houdini in as Hare Master as BR not staying, so all agreed it was a GOOD RUN.  

GM brought in No Hope as it was his suggestion that the run start 30 minutes earlier and it always ended up pitch black half way through the circle - good idea.  Bike Hash now only hash using PINK paper, so anybody holding stocks of PINK paper, please return to Saturday Hash, do not give directly to Bike Hash.  ALL Monthly hashes will have to pay for their own paper now.  All other hashes will use Blue / Multi-coloured - slip up by GM that other hashes will be using 'monthly' coloured paper - obviously the circle found this hysterical and that the IP Hash monthly paper would be red - ha ha! Jiggly Juggs iced for mouthing off! All members of the Military in, along with members of the German pack, so both sides facing off to each other, in honor of Remembrance Sunday.    

1st Steward - Julie Andrews:  Special request by JA to do his steward spot before the run offences, as he would be left with no steward material! As JA been away for a while, he has a whipping bitch - Pling Pling Fuck - so if JA fucks up, PPF takes a down down - her reply was "You're already fucked up" the circle agreed! Hare Master in as JA loved the way the HHH signs were set up (or not as the case may be). Flubba, Swollen Colon & Nose Driver in and iced for short-cutting.   SC has an excuse he is not 100% right and never will be.  But Flubba & ND couldn't even get short-cutting right, JA met them coming in the opposite direction, they had short-cutted, picked up paper but were going in the wrong direction - but were still shouting On On!  Flying Dickhead was told to take a down down, but 'ordered' a Heineken - he thought he was in a bar!  Very kind of him to collect the HHH signs that JA forgot last week! Singha was following paper with Give Me One and Peung, when they saw Scud taking a short-cut, later on Manneken Pis and Who The Fuck is Christine were astonished to see Scud finishing so quickly "How did you manage that?" they asked "Ah, that is Intelligence for you" came the reply!  Rusty's in - JA was so pleased that he knew a route into Kamala on Wednesday night that didn't involve passing the IP 100th party - far too dangerous for his liking!  Good Steward spot, although the GM said nobody would have stolen his material!  

Run Offences:  Singha has his own mobile medical team with him (Give Me One & Peung), nearly back to the Laager and found  body slumped up against a tree, it was Houston Basher (apparently quite normal for him to be slumped up against something!) off the girls went to see if he was OK and administer medical assistance (well kiss him better), which seemed to revive him, after another 200 meters he was flagging again, Singha pointed this out to his medical team, they replied "fuck him, we've done him once won't do again!"  Blue Harlot thanked Murkury, over the last 18 months they have both been wearing the same style, colour and brand of running shoes.  Two weeks ago BH had a blow out, Murkury being the kind sole (excuse the pun!) that he is offered BH his pair of running shoes, which were a perfect fit.  So today, in a rush to get to the hash for the earlier time, BH picked up the nearest pair of blue trainers, but he wasn't sure which ones he had got!? Came to the first hill, went up it very slowly, 10 minutes further on, BH rubbed his head & hair started falling out! Over half way through he noticed that he was growing a mustache, towards the end he started telling himself the most boring joke in the world - was now 100% sure he was wearing Murkury's runners!   SA Dick Gobbler wanted to do a short run offence, so all the obnoxious cunts that like to stick out - the French in (all in matching t-shirts!) along with Always Wet and Once Weekly, who SADG thought had been paid by the French to wear the same t-shirts!? As we all know, nothing derogatory is to be said about the kingdom of Thailand or the Royal Family, that also goes for the handling of Thai currency! So why oh why does one of the French pack stick his money down his sock - and 'tread' on the money - BIG NO NO! No Hope wanted Barbara Woodhouse and Jack (if he could be dragged away from the food!), and Wiggli Wurm in, as we already know Jack loves his food, so when he spotted left over food at about 100 paces, he took a sharp U-turn and took out WW who was in his way! Jiggly Juggs iced again for mouthing off (you would think she would learn? Maybe she likes it!). There was a bit of hash flashing going on with JJ on the ice - legs in the air and all sorts (JJ not HF!).  Julie Andrews 'loaned' Don a hash t-shirt, but told him he couldn't keep it and wanted it back afterwards.  Itchy Cunt thanked Virgin My Arse and Dicksappointing for allowing her to stop at their house for several weeks and during this time kept asking her to come to the hash. So what changed this week - well they told her that the several ships from the US Fleet were in, and there would be loads of 'Navy Men' here! No show from the Navy Men and was left with this bunch of arseholes! Really she was expecting loads of seamen (according to No Hope!).  

Returners:  Berthless Boatie and Nose Driver. Virgin:  Don (although some in the circle were saying he was a fake & had been before?)   

2nd Steward Spot - Flying Dickhead:  Hash Flash in for doing a good job.  GM thanked for not being afraid to make a decision, FD said if you didn't like what was agreed you be the GM, but then went onto say, why start early, how about linking some lights up to the beer truck - good job you have already been a GM you would have been next in line for that job! Rude as Fuck iced for being the non-enforcer regulator! Apparently before Dam Buster retired he worked for the Royal Irrigation Department - thanks for all the water, he could be heard saying that his house was not flooded! Julie Andrews iced again for keeping all the HHH signs, he as pleading his case that they were all in the back of JC's truck & he is nowhere to be found. FD would also like the hares to choose a Laager site where there is no passing traffic, we quite often have to allow motorbikes to come through virtually the middle of the circle at times.  Mind the Gap, Give Me One and Peung were in as replacements for Mini Mouse, who moaned to FD last time he did a steward spot that he wasn't funny - so what is funny about printing 20 jokes from the internet off?? FD had his money on JC being the one that turned up late because of the new start time, but no it was Kaiser Bill! Joe Frazier passed away this week, there are plenty of boxing enthusiasts, no more so than Ice Arse who apparently had a battle in defense of a good woman? Good Steward spot.  

Itchy Cunt in as the new whipping bitch, Blue Harlot was confused; Itchy or Bitchy "your going to find out soon" came IC's reply!    Visiting Hashers:  Lady Boy from Riyadh (good to see him conscious this week!), Pling Pling Fuck from Munich, Who the Fuck is Christine and Suck & Swallow from Singapore and Itchy Cunt from ...... Iron Pussy! So with the least amount of effort for a visitor IC iced! Not so itchy now are ya? GM reckons its probably still itchy, but tighter!?   Always Wet took a shine to the new young fit assistant to Nugget.  While Nugget was busy she explained to him that she had a deal with Nugget & all her beers were 30 baht. Not only did that not work, AW went on to tell her best buddy, who just happened to be stood next to the GM at the time!   Numbered Runs:  Wiggli Wurm - 25 Runs, Dicksappointing - 25 Runs and Mind The Gap - 50 Runs (front running bitch according to SA Dick Gobbler).    IC noticed that Dicksappointing was already wearing a 25 run shirt, but it seems that he and Barbara Woodhouse (pair of gay boys that they are) got changed in the dark together & wore each others shirts - how sweet!  So Blue Harlot accepted Murkury's cast off shoes willingly, but they are new to BH - shame he had to drink out of them - heaven only knows what germs and diseases Murkury has!? Houdini was missing earlier on today, apparently Chastity Belt had no shoes, they were in her car - so off Houdini went to collect them keeping his good lady happy - she wasn't too happy though having to drink out of them!  

3rd Steward -Gorgeous: Oldest left till last: Lord Louis The Lip had a problem last week, he stopped & said to Gorgeous that had a problem with Angina and had to take a pill, the visitors that were walking past heard 'having problems with his vagina and is going to take the pill' - when they questioned Gorgeous he replied "no it is Angina" - 'oh she is going on the pill is she?'  Gorgeous was surprised to see Swollen Colon back in the circle, he said previously that has leaving Phuket, but he was back now because he had a change of heart! When he saw the surgeon, he was told he was getting a pigs heart, "wouldn't a human one be better' SC asked, "no it will reject you, but by looking at you a pigs heart would suit you" replied the surgeon.  Two days before the operation, the surgeon said SC wouldn't get a pigs heart as the parents had objected. OK you will get something on they day don't worry SC - after the operation SC could hear tick/tock - it is a clockwork one - but don't worry you have a 90 day money back guarantee, "are you trying to wind me up" says SC? You will be OK for a week as it has a 7 day movement!  Good Steward spot, best one he has done since World War II.   

Blue Harlot admitted to the GM that he likes his women like his new shoes: tied up, broken in and 8 1/2!  Nathan lead the way on this walk, Virgin My Arse, Dicksappointing, Double Down Down and Suck & Swallow all followed him - OFF Paper and lost - even the GPS couldn't help him out! Thanks for that! Duly names G P Arse.   Departers: Berthless Boatie, Nose Driver, Kamala Toe Licker, Lady Boy.   Spare beer to the attention seeker who swaggered in, yes Itchy Cunt!