Duke of Puke iced for completely ignoring the GM when he called circle up.  Hares in,  GM, Big Bollox and BC (who represented most of the walkers) thought that was a confusing run! GM didn’t see ‘nipple’ pink paper until after 54 minutes!!  As the runners were told to follow the pink paper, the question was asked, why no paper for the walkers (just word of mouth instructions given!) -  because they didn’t want to lay any apparently! Couldn’t comment on good run, as most of the runners weren’t back yet!!!!Houdini in, and timed to perfection, as only had a towel on, Testicle Tom tried to sneak a peak as he went past! He announced that the Grumpy Old Men and HHH are collecting food and supplies for flood victims in BKK, they will be traveling up in 4 weeks or so, and collection points are at Lady Pie, Hash, Safeway Auctions.  Big Bollex recruiting marshals  for the Triathlon and Iron Man at Laguna on 27 Nov and 4 Dec, names and t-shirt sizes being taken, and phone numbers in the next couple of weeks.  If you marshal both events, you will receive a substantial discount for the Hash Ball.

Run Offences:  No Hope got Oh Yea and her friend in (with a little encouragement from Testicle Tom!). First time we have seen Oh Yea for several weeks, and normally when you add beer it makes interesting scribing - however she had only just got off the bus and proceeded to vomit several times in the nearest hedgerow, with her friend being very concerned and rubbing her back and encouraging it all to come out - better out than in love! Only ONE run offence!!!

Returners:  There were thousands of them, OK a slight exaggeration but have a look at the photos if you don’t believe me! They included Cheap Potato and Duke of Puke - with pretty poor reasons for being away: CP was in Thailand (no shit!) and DoP was in Patong - so he was iced for being lazy & not coming to the Hash!

Visiting Hashers: Christian from Cambridge and Marcus from Japan.  They were clever enough to manage a drink using the long blue arms!

1st Steward - Lord Louis the Lip:  SA Dick Gobbler in, as the stand in GM last week he did a great job, and LLtL remembered everything that he said ... Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck ........ !!!BC was talking about the current food shortage in Phuket, due to the flooding, “no worries” says BC “we can eat the big fuckers like Big Bollox!”  With the worst floods in history hitting Thailand, recently 100 crocodiles escaped from an illegitimate illegal farm, but there is nothing to worry about, as they were born in captivity and won’t hurt you!! It’s OK, all you have to do if you see one in the water is splash the water around you!!!! They have captured 2, shot 40 but are still looking for the rest.  Testicle Tom and Born Looser (stand in for Sucker), TT has been seen, nearly on a daily basis at Sucker’s new restaurant, not because of the good good and company that can be found there, but because there is a new waitress / waiter in town? The Lady Boy wears some lovely outfits, with matching high heels, but when bending over is sporting a delightful pair of Kelvin Klein underpants! Oh Yea and her friend in, because they are nice to look at and did the walk in pretty dresses and flip flops.  So the police are asking the local Thai community to volunteer to help out and assist the police during the high season, and the ideal candidates, according to the police are the Jet Ski boys - WTF!   Kamala Toe & her dog in the basket in, and KT nearly iced because LLtL demanded to see the dog, KT did warn him that the dog will protect her, and go ape shit at LLtL - No, I want to see the dog, OK then, I have never seen LLtL move so quick when it was released from it’s handbag!  It also went ape shit when it saw the buffalos on the walk, for something so small it can certainly pack a might punch!!  Hares in again, LLtL also had the same problem as most walkers today, he saw paper about 10 minutes from the end of the walk!   Good Steward spot.

WC Fields in, should have done a Steward spot 3 weeks ago, but didn’t turn up - so duly iced!  Comments could be heard that a bigger winch is needed! Mini Mouse in, she should have done a Steward spot today, but mid week Clitmas Pussy gets a call to say that MM won’t make the hash on Saturday, and who is the very first person that GM sees as he arrives at the hash? Yep you guessed it MM!! Murkury in as WC Fields was due to do a Steward spot at the Tin Man last month, and he didn’t turn up - reoccurring theme going on here!  Everybody that has visited Blast Off in hospital in, including Murkury, SA Dick Gobbler, JC, Blue Harlot, Testicle Tom and many others.  He continues to recover, but had a scare in the week, following a scan it was reported that there had been some brain damage, but when the hospital realised he was an Oz they advised that this was quite normal, and nothing to worry about!  TT was lucky enough to see BO with his pants down.  Due to there being a permanent scribe now, TT is jobless (was the scribe chaser!), not anymore, TT is now Transgender Liaison.  Me thinks TT will be busier than he thinks - SADG wants to know why there aren’t more Ladyboys, TT did say he visits Soi Paradise on a regular basis trying to recruit! Jiggly Juggs next in, as according to her FB status recently she actually thinks she is a man, due to words like: A good woman keeps her house clean, her man happy, her appearance stunning not appearing in her vocabulary!  So there is Blue Harlot running alongside Parasol Pussy (not behind BH!?) and taking the lead was King Klong (carrying a beer!), so we have a re-run of Jiggly Juggs girly impression from a few weeks ago - PP lets out the largest scream followed by “what the fuck is that?” a HUGE 8 legged thing chasing KK, who comes to a grinding halt for all of them to realise it is a piece of fern stuck to a vine stuck to KK leg!!! GIRLS! SA Dick Gobbler, as always(?) is the front runner, but this week Top Off and Parasol Pussy tried to hijack his running technique, by stealing both bottles of water off him - no problem he still came in before both of them - you’ll have to do more than that! SADG hates the fact that dogs are on the run, they kill ducks, get under your feet and just cause general mayhem. He would like to know how or why Mini Mouse has trained her dog to run between SADG balls and arse - some fancy sexual moves going on by that dog!! Singha in, with a rather confused look on his face, he finds it fascinating how people prepare in such varying ways for the run: Duke of Puke can be seen walking around the circle warming up his drinking arm only, Jiggly Juggs does a bit of extreme biking (95km!!!), Big Bollox can quite often be seen doing handstands and press-ups (photo’s please Hash Flash!) and of course the lovely Oh Yea has her own unique way, she staggers off the bus spews up in the hedgerow and helped back on the bus by her companion.  There were comments between Blue Harlot & Testicle Tom that it was all down to the blow job from last night, not sure how they know!?!?!.  Apparently Jiggly Juggs likes to be a party pooper, doesn’t like seeing everybody strutting their funky stuff on the dance floor after the Kamala Koma last week - Twice she turned the music off! JC wants Mini Mouse and all other dog owners, to train their dogs to piss and shit over SA Dick Gobbler and NOT JC’s car! JC only came to the hash today, because SADG told him it was 30 baht beers (that was last week you muppet!)

2nd Steward - Big Bollox:  Duke of Puke iced, apparently he was arranging events for his 50th Birthday party, dum cunt, he is 1 year early!! Falang Bum iced, Ketchup built her a lovely house, but she is still not happy and wants to see snow! He takes her to the UK for Christmas, which costs him a fortune, she sees snow and throws snow balls, but doesn’t like it and doesn’t want to see it again - that my dear is why we are all here and not in snow land!! JC and Paper were having a ‘romantic moment’ last night and Paper asked JC “do you prefer Christmas or Sex” JC replied “Christmas of course”,  “oh why” Paper asked disappointingly JC’s reply “because I get more Christmas’s than sex!”  Born Looser never does a steward spot he always “punches up the fuck line!!” Turncoats daughter came home from school, “Dad, teacher said today that if my boyfriend makes love to me before I am 16 years old, he won’t die?” “trust me, he will!” came the reply! GM alone today, there was a slight accident in the kitchen this week, Clitmas Pussy was singing “You don’t buy me flowers anymore” and GM replied “You got to start sucking more!” BB was near the front of the pack and asked Naked Gun he things were going with married life “OK, a bit of adjusting as I’m not really into shaving pussy’s” “why’s that” BB says “I like to get there before they start!”  Blue Harlot could be heard  stating “that is a matter of fact”!! BC bought his wife some new ‘Meat Loaf Underwear’  on the front it says “I will do anything for love’ and on the back it says ‘But I won’t do that!’  BC was given plenty of advise including get her to wear them back to front - that works!  Good steward spot.

Virgin: Glenn, who was a nice young man for Mini Mouse to have a chat too “have you fucked before” very quick reply from Glenn “I’m big, hard and horny” MM straight back at him “get on your knees and drink without using your hands, like the first time sucking pussy!” 

New Members: Nathan and Philip. 

Swamp thing had new shoes, which were now covered in buffalo shit - not sure he will be here next week after drinking out of them!

Jiggly Juggs - 100 runs, Paper - 600 runs, Singha - 600 runs

French in, SADG thought he was still the GM, so was told to shut the fuck up!! By the time they were in, it was almost dark, actually almost black, well ALL BLACK.  Quite apt really seeing as they LOST in the Rugby World Cup final to the might ALL BLACKS!  There was a pack shout of ON IN for Ejackulator who was still out on the walk - it did sound a bit like cheering though! JC and SA Dick Gobbler iced for gobbing off - no re-run of the wrestling from last week, but the girls only put their feet on - that’s not Iced!!! Sign of a good run Ejackulator was lost!!  Hash shit for Swollen Colon, but Good Run for Figjam and Duke of Puke.