Well, a lovely laager, good weather and as it turned out a good run, but the only thing missing  ---------- The bloody hares, Saggy Balls and J.C, apparently J.C forgot to tell Paper to get ready early as he was a hare and she made them late, that earned him a well deserved icing from Paper. Luckily for the pack Bullet Rash had some inside information on where the trail started, apparently he went of for a pre-run dump, and lo and behold whilst he was a squatting, da da -- loads of paper, how apt.  The run had more twists and turns than a long curly thing with lots of extra twists in it, one minute you are at the front of the pack and the next minute you are alongside Defective Maigret, WTF. Any way everyone came in more or less together, so well done the hares.

Must make a point of thanking Virgin My Arse for some great photos; however I was a little perturbed to see her walking around taking pictures of the groin area of the male hashers, mmmmm! Probably for her private album. She had a major problem taking a photo of Big Bollox having a wash down, he dropped his towel she put the camera on panoramic high definition, increased the pixels, wide angle zoom lens, and still only got one buttock in the frame.

No scribe appointed and when the G.M asked for volunteers, you thought he was asking for a blow job, blank faces and the 1000 yard stare. So you have got me, next week it could be you.

Run offences first and No Hope came in to remind us that is was 100 days since the passing of Rosie, Useless and Blarney Rubble, how ironic they scattered Blarneys ashes at sea when he hated water and couldn’t even swim. (Never too late to learn, so you can now Blarney) Singha next and introduced Rushin Around and her fucking lazy dog in the bag, it looked a vicious little shit to me. J.C brought in Houston Basher and Swollen Colon in as laager louts and trying to claim his free hare beers, so you got back in time did you J.C?

G.M back now and congratulates Jiggly Jugs on her new appointment as the Kamala Koma G.M. Birthday boys Once weekly and Dambuster were serenaded by Jiggly with the traditional birthday song. Next Tuk Tuk and She knows everything announced they were expecting a baby, for fucks sake hasn’t she heard of anal sex, oral sex or a good old fashioned titty wank, it stops all unwanted pregnancies, trust  me.

1st Steward.  Moonwalker, who introduced all the hash royalty, King Klong, Lord Louis the Lip, Raving Queen, aka Testical Tom, Dame Big Bollox, Lady Pie, and then the priesthood with St Blowjob, Rev Fingerlicker, Cardinal Finger and even President got a mention. The Blue Harlot called in to promote Apple’s new itouch for kids. (Very inappropriate) Then a story about Clitzipper who was up for a mother and daughter threesome only to discover the elderly bar girl had a mother in her eighties, O.K I can go with that  …. Not.  Next Minnie Mouse getting a divorce from Mickey because he was insane, no sorry he was fucking Goofy. Then a story about 3 old hashers getting up to late after shitting the bed, Yep, Louis and Testical Tom were in there. Great to see the return of Defective Maigret who was called in for the parrot and Viagra joke, locked in a freezer and couldn’t get the frozen chicken legs apart, lovely, did he understand what was going on?. Great spot from Moonwalker.

Next I saw Giggly Worm and Wiggly Worm being iced by their daughter, not sure what for but I’m sure they deserved it; after all he is from Belgium.   Returners: Fucking loads.  Visiting Hashers: Mr. Fister and Oh Yeh!, now the circle perked up liked nipples on an Eskimo taking a shower outside. A scantily clad female about to bend over in front of me and get very very wet, however Testical Tom was getting all excited about Mr. Fister’s name and his muscles, easy now Tom. Apparently Louis said it’s the first time he has had a hard on for 12 years. Swollen Colon encouraged Oh Yeh1 to demonstrate her jumping skills to see if her top would come down, as he nearly had another heart condition when she leapt by him on the run, great jump but it stayed on. Shame.

2nd Steward. Big Bollox. First victims were SADG for insulting a fat girl playing pool, Parasol Pussy who was asked what’s your pet hate? A kick up its arse is not his favourite thing was the reply. Testical Tom teaching his nephew to wank, “Well done son next year you can use your own knob.” he said. Naked Gun was complaining about his girlfriend having a difficult period, well it is her first one  Wiggly Worm was next for admonishing his daughter who saw him shagging, “Ooh! Am I going to get a brother or sister?” She asks, “No” he replies, “If you don’t tell your mother it will be a cousin.” We then had Ice Arse in for leaving skid marks in Jiggly Jugs underwear. Muddy Bollox made a comment when he saw 2 Americans fighting in Bangla. “Bloody hell granddad, its like 2 priests fighting over a choir boy” There were loads more but I was laughing so much I forgot to write it all down, Great Spot.

Runmaster was called in and a good run was called, and we all went home to bed.