Scribe
Report:
No. 1325
,
Saturday 30th July 2011
Hares:
Billy Boy, Bluey and J.C ( The
Mexican)
Total Pack 97 , Virgins 5
, Visitors 1 , Visiting hashers 4 , New members 0.
Well here we go again, another year and another G.M; sorry
Jungle Balls your arse isn’t a patch on Minnie Mouse’s. The run
was laagered in a lovely patch of rubber courtesy of our Hares, Bluey,
Billy Boy and J,C. (Hereafter known as the Mexican) A great run with
just enough “up” to get everyone cursing and a nice run in, well done,
however it came out in the circle that the Mexican wanted to make it
longer with more checks, and as the circle got underway he was suitably
punished. Once the circle started and the announcements were
over, Jungle Balls presented a lovely poster of our ex G.M and now
Religious Advisor of her with her tits out signed by loads of hashers
and apparently cum stains from Bollox as he got carried away while
preparing it. Nothing wrong with that we have all done it, haven’t we?
Mannequin Piss came in and down downed Top off as Hash Horn for being
so far back, that Mannequin Piss was convinced that his running had
improved. Sorry M.P, Top off is fucking useless. Gorgeous and Louis in
for being old farts and getting knocked off the track by Barbara
Woodhouse. Big Bollox was in next to reveal our 2 lovely English rose
ladies were in fact topless barmaids at a past Hash event, mmmm! No!
and No! again, get some silicone ladies. A good story about Paper
coming home to find J.C asleep on the toilet (again) she couldn’t
resist it, an ice cold bucket of water was duly tipped over him, and as
Paper ran out of the bathroom she went arse over tit, but J.C did
manage to finish his dump for all the interested parties that were
concerned. about J.C’s bowel movements.
Birthday Boys in, Dandy La Root, King Klong, J.C and Saggy
Balls. Louis and Rommel were the G.M’s next victims, they got so
excited at their weekly visit to a massage parlour they forgot all
about the AGPU, must have been bloody good, will have to get the name
of that place. T.Tom and Buttcycle in for having kinky sex and poor old
Buttcycle getting carpet burns on his chin, Ouch!
1st Steward Julie Andrews, Hares, Toad, Singha and Singha Gold
plus his brothers (Fuck! No wonder he left home.) all
reprimanded for getting him pissed in Kamala. Next
was Once Weekly and Twice Nightly in for it was discovered that
there was a picture of them on a bar wall in Patong, So
what! I’ve got pictures of Twice Nightly on my bedroom wall,
Oops! French in and Asterix iced as he is an example of why we
shouldn’t have built the Channel Tunnel Well done Julie Andrews.
Barfwader made an appearance and presented The Mexican with the Golden
Dump trophy, very apt.
Next all the Virgins, Visitors, Returners and Visiting Hashers
were dealt with, involving a lot of cold water, poor old Barfwader
ended up joining the soggy ones as well. G.M then warned all dog
owners to control their arse sniffing, ball licking critters …..Or
else! Loads of talking behind me and missed loads, but luckily
Scud came in for a steward spot, no chance of not hearing him. All
those who were not wearing hash T. Shirts were berated in his own
insulting but reputable style. Once weekly in and advised
to stop trying to be 18 again and slow down or serious injury will
result as he has obviously still not recovered from the previous leg
injury. Ban Klong was his next victim for rushing back from China to
house sit for Chicken George thinking that Suck it and See might still
be there, sorry, back to wanking Ban Klong. Barbara Woodhouse
deservedly iced for trying to get other dog owners punished by calling
their mutts into the circle. Then the English ladies iced for having no
idea who the Andrew sisters were, and they didn’t help themselves by
singing us Julie Andrews’s songs, Twats .Good Spot from Scud.
G.M back in thanked the committee and then gave us an ooogh!!!
Joke about Amy Winehouse and Norwegian kids, and talking about bad
humour as on cue in floated B.C please don’t read the following if
easily offended. Poor old Bluey started the sick ball rolling.
Fat birds love Bluey. He shaves his pubes and it makes his dick
look like a fish finger. Apparently gingers have bigger penises;
obviously this is a biased opinion as they're the only ones to see
them. Bluey got himself a smart phone recently. It's so smart; when it
realized he was ginger the cunt stopped working. A teacher
asks a Redneck girl to use "Handsome" in a sentence. "When I'm suckin
dad’s dick and my jaw gets sore I use my handsome times." I'm against
the stereotype that all women belong in the kitchen. The fit ones
should stay in the bedroom. Virgin My Arse: Why do sperm have
tails? So it’s easier to pull them out from between your
teeth. Dicksappointing just found out that the word 'sperm' is
actually short for, 'spermatozoa'. Taking the, 'atozoa', part off
to make it seem like less of a mouthful. Louis the Lip - "Uncle
Louis, can I go to a 50 cent concert". "Here's $1, take your
sister as well" When people stutter I have a really bad urge to
shout "REMIX!" Billy Boy: Why did the Mexican cross the road? To
get into America. When a gay man wipes his arse, does his fist
ever accidentally slip through the tissue? On a sad note:
Testicle Tom’s is upset. He just found out that his Thai bride’s breast
cancer has spread to her testicles!
One black guy in the Tour de France. Stole a bike and didn’t realize
this was a white boy sport… couldn’t get away from them. So that was
his spot. How are you feeling now?
Coming to the end now and Billy Boy and Bluey came in as
Departers followed by Who the Fuck is Alice to be presented with his
200 run shirt, well done Alice. Houdini in as new joint
Runmaster and the result was a Good Run, mosquitoes were biting
by now. I’m off Bye Bye.
On On.
The Blue Harlot.