Scribe Report:                               No. 1325 ,                             Saturday  30th July 2011

Hares:        Billy Boy, Bluey and J.C ( The Mexican)           

Total Pack 97 ,  Virgins 5  , Visitors 1 , Visiting hashers  4 , New members 0.
               
                                                   
   Well here we go again, another year and another G.M; sorry Jungle Balls your arse isn’t a patch on Minnie Mouse’s.  The run was laagered in a lovely patch of rubber courtesy of our Hares, Bluey, Billy Boy and J,C. (Hereafter known as the Mexican) A great run with just enough “up” to get everyone cursing and a nice run in, well done, however it came out in the circle that the Mexican wanted to make it longer with more checks, and as the circle got underway he was suitably punished.  Once the circle started and the announcements were over, Jungle Balls presented a lovely poster of our ex G.M and now Religious Advisor of her with her tits out signed by loads of hashers and apparently cum stains from Bollox as he got carried away while preparing it. Nothing wrong with that we have all done it, haven’t we?

Mannequin Piss came in and down downed Top off as Hash Horn for being so far back, that Mannequin Piss was convinced that his running had improved. Sorry M.P, Top off is fucking useless. Gorgeous and Louis in for being old farts and getting knocked off the track by Barbara Woodhouse. Big Bollox was in next to reveal our 2 lovely English rose ladies were in fact topless barmaids at a past Hash event, mmmm! No! and No! again, get some silicone ladies. A good story about Paper coming home to find J.C asleep on the toilet (again) she couldn’t resist it, an ice cold bucket of water was duly tipped over him, and as Paper ran out of the bathroom she went arse over tit, but J.C did manage to finish his dump for all the interested parties that were concerned. about J.C’s bowel movements. 

  Birthday Boys in, Dandy La Root, King Klong, J.C and Saggy Balls.  Louis and Rommel were the G.M’s next victims, they got so excited at their weekly visit to a massage parlour they forgot all about the AGPU, must have been bloody good, will have to get the name of that place. T.Tom and Buttcycle in for having kinky sex and poor old Buttcycle getting carpet burns on his chin, Ouch!

  1st Steward Julie Andrews, Hares, Toad, Singha and Singha Gold plus his brothers  (Fuck! No wonder he left home.)  all reprimanded for getting him pissed in Kamala.   Next was  Once Weekly and Twice Nightly in for it was discovered that there was a  picture of them on a bar wall in Patong,  So what!  I’ve got pictures of Twice Nightly on my bedroom wall, Oops!  French in and Asterix iced as he is an example of why we shouldn’t have built the Channel Tunnel Well done Julie Andrews.  Barfwader made an appearance and presented The Mexican with the Golden Dump trophy, very apt. 

  Next all the Virgins, Visitors, Returners and Visiting Hashers were dealt with, involving a lot of cold water, poor old Barfwader ended up joining the soggy ones as well.  G.M then warned all dog owners to control their arse sniffing, ball licking critters …..Or else!  Loads of talking behind me and missed loads, but luckily Scud came in for a steward spot, no chance of not hearing him. All those who were not wearing hash T. Shirts were berated in his own insulting but reputable style.   Once weekly in and advised to stop trying to be 18 again and slow down or serious injury will result as he has obviously still not recovered from the previous leg injury. Ban Klong was his next victim for rushing back from China to house sit for Chicken George thinking that Suck it and See might still be there, sorry, back to wanking Ban Klong. Barbara Woodhouse deservedly iced for trying to get other dog owners punished by calling their mutts into the circle. Then the English ladies iced for having no idea who the Andrew sisters were, and they didn’t help themselves by singing us Julie Andrews’s songs, Twats .Good Spot from Scud. 

  G.M back in thanked the committee and then gave us an ooogh!!! Joke about Amy Winehouse and Norwegian kids, and talking about bad humour as on cue in floated B.C please don’t read the following if easily offended. Poor old Bluey started the sick ball rolling.  Fat birds love Bluey.  He shaves his pubes and it makes his dick look like a fish finger.  Apparently gingers have bigger penises; obviously this is a biased opinion as they're the only ones to see them. Bluey got himself a smart phone recently. It's so smart; when it realized he was ginger the cunt stopped working.   A teacher asks a Redneck girl to use "Handsome" in a sentence. "When I'm suckin dad’s dick and my jaw gets sore I use my handsome times." I'm against the stereotype that all women belong in the kitchen. The fit ones should stay in the bedroom.  Virgin My Arse: Why do sperm have tails?  So it’s easier to pull them out from between your teeth.  Dicksappointing just found out that the word 'sperm' is actually short for, 'spermatozoa'.  Taking the, 'atozoa', part off to make it seem like less of a mouthful.  Louis the Lip - "Uncle Louis, can I go to a 50 cent concert".  "Here's $1, take your sister as well"  When people stutter I have a really bad urge to shout "REMIX!"  Billy Boy: Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get into America.  When a gay man wipes his arse, does his fist ever accidentally slip through the tissue?  On a sad note: Testicle Tom’s is upset. He just found out that his Thai bride’s breast cancer has spread to her testicles! 
One black guy in the Tour de France. Stole a bike and didn’t realize this was a white boy sport… couldn’t get away from them. So that was his spot. How are you feeling now?

   Coming to the end now and Billy Boy and Bluey came in as Departers followed by Who the Fuck is Alice to be presented with his 200 run shirt, well done Alice.   Houdini in as new joint Runmaster  and the result was a Good Run, mosquitoes were biting by now.   I’m off Bye Bye.

On On.

The Blue Harlot.