This week’s Grand Master Billy Boy (GMBB) was standing in for Minnie Mouse who took the opportunity to join the Somtam group. I had a complaint from them after my Mozzy spray wafted over the back of my car, spicing up the food a bit more.My apologies ladies! Who the Fuck is Alice (WtFiA) celebrated his birthday by handing out black T - shirts with his name and a frog on the back immediately after registration. Nice thin material. The run was a good challenge, many hills to traverse, with a final loop making my only five minutes to the laager comment a lie.  GMBB called the circle to order at 17:30 and promptly gave FIGJAM a down down for not stopping gobbing - typical Figgy. Then those not wearing the new shirts got down downs followed by a birthday song for WtFiA (69) yrs, Nugget and Jojo.

Run offenses called: BC got Not Clever and Pole Position for doing two short cuts, BC knew because he was leading them! Barf Wader called in Free Willy and very young son because she and son were going faster than Free Willy. Son was named after by BC as Speed Freak. Wilma called in Bluey because his son (Black and Bluey) has now grown up enough to realize that Hashing is a waste of his life - your running on your own now Bluey. Bluey called in Louis the Lip for being non chivalrous by not offering a helping hand to a pooying. Then Louis the Lip called Paper and the small Vietnamese lady for helping him because he’s so old! Nahee Man got a virgin named Ash from Mexico (Victoria in Oz) for crashing while trying to keep up with us oldies.GMBB called the outgoing and incoming Tinmen GM’s (Swollen Colon and Murkury) for last Wednesday’s AGPU, then the Hares for laying a good run. Then Paper and Bum Scraper for waking him up late last night so he could get Paper’s car started. Muttered something about women not knowing which terminal to put the red lead on. Crutch Rot and Bluey arrived at Kathu Expat from the airport the night before on their way home and as usual, didn’t actually get home till the early hours of next morning. Same as last time! Born Illegitimate and No Birth Certificate for bitching about the U.S. for some reason......... Then  Ejackulator and the Creature from the Blue Lagoon, for their up-coming plan to go and murder a shitload of doves in Argentina. Just so he can eat more prime breast (no comment).

1st Steward (not Stewart TT) Clitmus Pussy.  Rommel and Louis the Lip for early leaver parking maneuvers. Houdini and Chastity Belt (lookalike) while making chocolate cakes, Houdini likes to have Chastity Belt cover him with chocolate then lick it off - urgh gross. Virgin Pussy answered the call of nature on way back from Iron Pussy run outside Rolly Tasker’s with Dicksappointing holding her hand but came
back complaining about lack of toilet paper (did we really need to know that?). Sodomy from Liverpool was praying for a new bike but found it was not working so he stole one then prayed for forgiveness! The Blue Harlot formed a Hash called the Blue Harlequins, got a bunch of visiting Germans who wanted ladies so called around and soon taxis were arriving full of same. They took them out to nightclubs and paid all the charges and had some fun. Later, The Blue Harlot was getting paid by the ladies, bars, clubs and taxis for bringing in all the business - not stupid is he? Iron Pussy girls in. Hot Lips had told the steward about the early IP days when they got themselves banned from various 0establishments in Patong, they used to blow whistles when they decided to change bars. Now they all want to go home at 9pm. Get the whistles out again! Turncoat, FIGJAM, Pussy Licker and Dandy La Root in, some info about pricks being directly proportional to thumb length. Who looked at their thumbs? Steward thanked for good spot.

Jungle Balls announcement for Rosie’s ashes being brought to Phuket by Blind Mullet for early August. Sponsors asked for beer for the wake on 2nd August.Clitmus Pussy announces next IP run. GMBB iced Asterix for disrespect. All French speakers in and welcomed - there were 10 of them. Then told to piss off again! Bluey for ogling Minnie Mouse in a bikini on the internet, Black Top, Sheba and another Thai lady for nicking durians on the run. Wilma and Pusher for wearing gloves for when they fall down.Virgins given the on your knees, hands behind your backs down down treatment. Leech My Nuggets iced. Visiting Hashers, returnees etc., plus new member Alway’s Wet given down downs.Circle interruption by Thai on motor tricycle doing good trade selling the durians not already nicked.

2nd Steward White Pointer.The Blue Harlot had commented on the shirt back line that reads Who the fuck is Alice If anyone asks at school what it means, he translates ,who on earth are you?. Once Weekly and Twice Nightly in for shagging and hurting his back. Sounds like a bit of jealousy there.......Big Bollox calls White Pointer to wind him up about the footie score and W.P. starts cursing  Billy Boy because it was his phone Big Bollox was using. Hares in for laager site traffic . Too many to get beers for each. Then BA and FIGJAM iced for being gobby. All non Thai women in for an observation about a Cougars club (older ladies) looking for young men. Tuk Tuk in with his tattoo’s. When White Pointer was young he had to pay 3 penny’s to see The Tattooed Lady. Thank you steward.

GMBB - Rushing Around in for keeping on passing Billy Boy and overshooting the paper. Went past B. Boy many times on run, but no complaints, enjoyed the view! Flip Flop in for being unaware that Billy Boy was today’s GM.  Big Bollox and The Blue Harlot in, Big Bollox says to B. Harlot here’s an 8 year old B. Harlot looks around , asks where?  This here 8 year old Port I’m trying to give you! Barf Wader in with numbered runs, well, for the Virgin Hare shirt given to Jojo, who was then named by the French as Stupid Canard which means stupid duck. Runmaster JC calls run vote and ices Born Illegitimate for being only caller for Hash shit. So it was voted GOOD RUN.