Scribe Report:         No. 1321;                             Saturday  2nd July 2011

Hares:       J C ,   Murkury ,

Total Pack 97 ,  Virgins 3 , Visitors 5, Visiting hashers 12 , New members 0

I didn't trust today as we had a huge squall come through are area around 2 pm and thought I had better bring my trusty umbrella.  I sort of carried it like a parasol and hoped some nice young chap would help me. Ok, enough of this gay stuff and on to the important things such as the circle, which I really don't think its that important or do we ? At exactly 5:15 our lovely GM MM called the circle together and didn't give anyone enough time to even walk over and called the Hares Mercury and JC in and asked why your waiting for the pack to come in ? Wilma was put on the ice for following Billy Boy and not paper and was taking it easy when blowing the horn. Jungle Balls and Clitmas Pussy brought in for something, but all I heard from the GM was yak yak yak. Next the Communists (Committee  People)  were brought in and a big thank you for all the work they did for the 25th Party for the Hash.  We should all thank them as they did a fantastic job, as far as this reporter is concerned. Different and the Gang including White Pointer and Popeye for all the food and help they provided. Big Bollox and Blue Harlot were next to be brought in for the great circles they did and especially I liked the guy in the black rope and just got so excited when he walked by me.  Lilly white I think it was ! Next the most famous song the Hash does sing is the birthday one and it was given to Pole Position and Big Bollox. Next BC (always a bit scary) was brought in to sing a birthday song to JC and he sung "White Rabbit" by the Jefferson Airplane that really didn't sound like the original and think if they did use his song it would not be Number 1. This German or Wilma type came in and you knew he dressed himself and really had no idea what he had on due to the fact that nothing matched, so BC called him Stevie Wonder---Get It!!! BC brought in this Viet Nam girl and said something that made no sense and not funny and then proceeded to sing "Satisfaction" by the Stones that he sang before and was still funny. Then BC was put on the ice for being BC and got the girl from Viet Nam to sit on his lap and drink beer out of  her new shoes and he was in 7th Heaven with her until her boy friend showed up and off the ice and his lap she went.  The guy wasn't mad, he just wanted her back with him safe and sound.

Ok, now we finally have our 1st Stewart of the day and it was BA from England thru Penang.  He called in Parasol Pussy in because her dog dumped someone’s water bowel for washing their body.  Good Boy I say. Had a great joke on difference between women and dogs and one was if you locked a dog and women in a garage for 3 days and opened the door who would be the happiest to see you-------of course the Dog ! Told a story that was in the Bangkok Post about no booze during the election for 36 hrs and that all farangs would go crazy without alcohol [see below. J.B.]. All us wonderful Americans were brought in for July 4 and we thank you. Virgins were brought in by the man himself Mr. Skud who proceeded to give them the beer down down the hard way and of course the way I like it (Was I thinking that or did I really say it?) on their knees. Aussie brought in for being an Aussie---Right On ! Tinman Announcement for their AGPU on July 6. Penang Group brought and got down on their hands and knees (God I love this job) and that was all 7 of them and sung their Hash song and was followed by us local PHH voting Hash Shit.  2nd Stewart is Jungle Balls and he brought back in the Penang Group again who sang a song to all the Americans called "Americans can't go hashing cuz they think the world is Flat".On of the group was brought in as being gay and Testicle Tom brought in with him so I know have a new boy friend, but don't know his name. My friend Casy was brought in and I tried to give him the name of Bush Master, but you know our wonderful circle decided on other names and finally ended up with Butt Cycle and very fortune enough that BC had drifted into another zone and didn't get involved or? JC and Paper in for JC not knowing when Paper has an orgasm when her face is contorted. All Thai ladies brought in for buying beer after 6 pm tonight. Big Announcement that Billy Boy will be the GM next Saturday, so be careful what you do and say next week! This little bit of information about one of the  French .  One of the them wanted their back rubbed with Tiger Balm and forgot he had it on his hands and pulled his little pipi out and went crazy from the Tiger Balm on it.  Love it, oh sorry, I do mean I feel sorry for him, just a little! For the 300 time the Penang Group was brought in to introduce the guy who fucks up the most, but didn't get his name.GM from Hui Hin was brought in after MM found out he didn't volunteer and let her know he was here and could have been the Run Horn Blower.  Amazing the things that people forget to do ! Dick Gobbler brought in by this same guy for not remembering him at the big 25th Expat Party and gave deserved Down Downs. Wilma brought in for blowing the horn after everyone passed him during the run.  Where did his brain go--same place that BC brain goes.  MM said he still did a good job and told Dick Gobbler to fuck off without anymore interruptions. Birthday people brought in for July and so quick I never got to see who they were as it was getting dark. Departers and yep it was that same old Penang Group again. MM became the run master and called for good run and got it. We finally finished this at 6:40 and time for Butt Cycle and Testicle Tom to head off to the wonders of Pak Lok. 

Scribe report by Testicle Tom and all proceeds go to the TT Relief Fund.



*** "STAY HOME, STAY WASTED" ***

Police Prepare For Election Day Expat Sobriety Riots

Bangkok’s alcoholic farang population “unpredictable”

BANGKOK – Thailand’s police have called up all reserve staff for a full show of force ahead of this weekend’s election, as a precaution against unrest and violence from angry, sober alcoholic expatriates during the ban on alcohol sales.

The ban, in accordance with national election law, prohibits retail alcohol sales at stores, bars and restaurants from 6pm Saturday to midnight Sunday. The 30-hour period is traditionally a high-risk period in areas with high concentrations of expats, such as Sukhumvit Road in Bangkok and large swaths of Pattaya.

“Due to the importance of this election, we are taking no chances with expatriate sobriety-related violence,” said a stern National Police Chief Police General Wichean Potphosri. He justified the deployment of over 20,000 additional security officers nationwide as a necessary precaution against “deranged, sober foreigners.”

Additionally, numerous bars and nightlife areas in Bangkok and other cities will be shut down altogether to avoid gatherings of large numbers of non-drunken expats. Wichean has launched a PR campaign encouraging them to stay home on Saturday night “for once.”

Although large-scale rioting by un-intoxicated foreigners is rare, many previous Thai elections have seen small outbreaks of civil unrest, usually by expats who were unaware of the election at all and who reacted badly to being told that they can’t have a drink at their favorite establishment.

“For many of these men, 36 hours without a drink and the company of a rented Asian female represents something unacceptable, terrifying even,” said Noppawan Rangkulan, sociology professor at Thammasat University. “Sobering up means becoming momentarily aware of their graying bodies and emotionally hollow lives. What we think of as an alcohol-free night represents an existential crisis for them.”

Noppawon claims this “sobriety shock” is an actual medical pathology and recommends that hospitals offer free alcohol IV drips during the election weekend.

“Most expats are perfectly reasonable people,” she said. “The few deranged ones that end up yelling at waitresses at Irish pubs, they just need help.”

But according to Election Commission member Prapun Naigowit, much of the problem simply stems from a lack of communication. “Many expats are so isolated from the realities of the country they live in that something as major as an election can slip under their radar,” he explained. “Those who prepare ahead of time can easily get through the weekend by having a case of beer and a few DVDs ready at home.”

The EC has launched an educational campaign by posting messages on Thaivisa.com, reminding expatriates of the alcohol ban and suggesting that they host ‘Election Parties’ in their apartments.

Major grocery chains such as Tops have also joined in the campaign, touting 12-packs of Chang and Singha at their outlets with offers of free coolers as part of their “Stay Home, Stay Wasted” promotion.

Although the EC is confident in their campaign, Noppawan still thinks that planning ahead simply goes against the mentality of the alcoholic in general, and the alcoholic expat in particular.

“The people likely to cause a stir on election day can’t think three hours ahead, much less plan for a weekend,” she said. “You might as well ask your dog to feed himself while you’re on vacation.”

-- Notthenation.com 2011-07-01