Scribe Report :        No. 1319;                Saturday  18th June 2011;

                               Hares:    Who the fuck is Alice, Jojo and Turncoat.

                Total Pack 98 ,  Virgins 3 , Visitors 0 , Visiting hashers 3 , New members 0 .
 

Let’s start with the French. Did anybody see how the French Hare’s enjoyed watching us all suffer the pains of a “Hare of the Dog Run”? I mean seriously you guys are nuts, period. The Hash Ball was such a great event that as Once Weekly mentioned during the Run “I do not know how you guys do it, drinking  beer on Friday nights and then this”? Well, I don’t know, but after one hour and ten the FRB’s get in, should have been paid back with a thousand beers, but as it turned out when the voting went on, all is forgotten and forgiven in alcohol heaven.

The GM eager to start the Circle and to immediately punish Lucky Leck with a Heiniken, for pissing on a Hash sign, and so he downed it in one. Hares in, and her Majesty thanked for the long Bastard of a run. Then the GM calls in Swollen Colon and his Baby’s, and even though none look like him, her advice “keep on trying”. Then she gets in Flubber for new shoes, and is forced to drink out of the GM’s old crusty ones. The GM poor’s two in each, Flubber downs it all and goes for a refill.

Swollen Colon in as first Stewart, and he calls BC. As it turns out, on their latest cycling trail in Nakon Ti Tamarat or something like that, BC knows and visits a short time room. You know he don’t get hard these days, and so as its like playing with a rope SC explains. BC while looking at the mirror freaks out seeing this old man and says to himself, “no wonder I can’t get any sex looking like that”. Twice Nightly and JC, and SC tells that on average a hasher runs 700km per year and drinks 35 Gallon, therefore an average Hasher does 20km to the Gallon. Now with JC the average is 3km to the Gallon and Twice Nightly 100km per Gallon. Then he calls in Flubber and Comes to Late, for Flubber hoping this trip be a romantic one. But Comes to Late did not want to bend over daily, so she took the kids along. Then good advice on Aussies Etiquette like, when drinking directly from the bottle “use one hand only”, or even if you are living alone “perfume is not a waste of money”, and to scream at the movies screen “it has been proven that they do not hear you”, and  when sending your wife with a petrol can down the road “it is not polite to ask her for beers”. Last SC got in Big Bollox for he had accused him of nicking his money, BB was shit faced and found it later in his pocket.

The GM thanks SC and calls in the Visiting GM from Chiang Mai, Anything; and asks the HHH to pay respect, and the answer was, why? Then there was a scene where Lucky Leck had his back turned to me, and I only saw parts of the GM seemingly going down on him and then spiting. Well it turned out to be beer. Then I had the pleeeasure of blessing the Virgins, give our respect to the Visiting Hashers and the Returners, the latter don’t include our mate Flubber hehe. Next, Barth Wader entered and Hot Pants was furnished with 300 Laager sites, sorry runs. With Barth Wader still in the circle BC was asked to sing a song, and so he did, the Lionel Ritchie Hit “Hello….I long to see my man paste in your hare; …but let me start by saying are you a Doode? … Hello”.   [see below]

So it went on and King Klong was called as next Stewart and so finally somebody punished the Hares for doing this long run. Then he focused on the Hash Ball and first called in all the Ladies, well actually all the eye candy from the Hash Ball, and yes they looked all a little worse for wear and tear today hehe, but like magic the night before! Then Suck it and See with her partner Chicken George, for he dressed her up like a chicken, feathers ended up everywhere just like in chicken barn. Then JC and Paper on her comment made early in the night, “look how straight JC’s neck is”, and then late at night her comment as JC is walking bent over forwards towards us “look, broken Neck”. Then Lost Buffalo and myself in for my notion that Lost Buffalo was Hot on the dance floor. At last he called in Fred Astaire, you know the guy with the bad back Born Loser, also Big Bollox and Anything for rude dancing, and myself for dancing with all the beautiful ladies last night, hello to FA Cup.

The GM back on deck calls Big Fella for missing the Hash Ball; instead he went to the Expat in Patong. The third Stewart Big Bollox enters to punish all previous Stewarts for stealing all of his stuff. BB then calls Blue Harlot for traveling with two hair dryers, “can’t look rough at this event”. Flubber was exposed when BB told us that she only makes love to him because he can not afford the Batteries. Testicle Tom last night was seen flying about the hash Ball. The punch was no fruit only, it had punch and so he was seen and heard talking to God in the Toilet. TT was handed a box of tissues, for crying while riding his bike early this morning. TT and Blue Harlot had to be punished for TT helped himself to 3 Sweat dishes and BH went 6 times. The Scribe thinks aloud and reckons, too much talking about the sex they are not having. Then the French and some celebrated the 69th birthday of …..? The GM explains why men like Jewie the Lip use Viagra, “it’s like this, when he wants to get out of bed he needs something hard to hang on to”. Then the GM kept up the teaching effort and Tuk Tuk after 25 years of hashing did get several lessons on the down down song. BC back in the circle, and for your sanity I will only do one of his. He called in King Klong, stood next to him on his left facing us all, and while moving his arm and hand in a wanking manner BC referring to KK says, “He is the Jesus right hand man”.

The GM lifts the culture and Porn Shop and Cobbler deserved a beer for PS did the Marathon in 3h50, and C for the half Marathon in 2h11. The Announcement by the GM to bring 100BHT to the Expat next Friday and get the 1000BHT refund for the 25th Anniversary. The circle went On and there is more to tell, but God given luck we will all forget most of it by next week. Thank you GM and thank you BB for it was a great weekend, thank you all!  

On On

SADG  


               

Hello by Lionel Ritchie  B.C.

I've ogled you before inside my mind
And in my dreams I've parted those lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you drunk at the Expat Bar
Hello, it’s me are you a whore?

I can see spunk in your eyes
I can see pubes in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, and my wallets opened wide
'Cause you know that I’m not gay
And I’ve got a pill that’s blue
I want to ask you so much, suck or screw?

I long to see my man-paste in your hair
and tell you time and time again to get your face down there
Sometimes I feel my juice will overflow
Hello, grab my schlong and watch it grow

But I wonder what you are
And I wonder what you do
Do you sometimes get a boner, or is pussy part of you?
Tell me where can I find out
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by asking, are you a dude?