The GM called the circle to order and expressed the sadness felt by all Phuket hashers for the sad loss of Rosie, Blarney Rubble and Useless.  A few words were said for each hasher and then there was a one-minute silence in their memory.  Runners off first with walkers waiting for further instructions (actually walkers are kept behind as it is embarrassing when they overtake the runners!)  Flying Dickhead lived up to his name and tripped over and went rolling down a hill.  At the time he was recounting Louis the Lip’s lap dancing at last week’s hash and he got a bit excited. 

Circle started with JC iced for managing to fall and cut himself even though he walks in that area every morning. Hares in for copying the GM’s walking trail.  Funeral arrangements were mentioned for Useless and Blarney.  Barbie Doll in with song for Rosie based on “If you ever go across the sea to Galway …… “  Klong in for not being able to dress himself, his shirt was on inside out.  Birthday boys in with ages ranging from 60 to 80.  Fuckawolf told to take off his shirt as GM presented him with a very small, very gay pink one.  Barbara Woodhouse got new white pants and the other two birthday boys got a baby’s rattle! 

Rainman in with wife Rainbow, married for 24 years so she had provided some food and birthday cakes.  There would also be some t-shirts but these were being carefully hidden as there weren’t enough to go around.  Big Billox called in Louis the Lip and Fuckawolf – aged 78 and 80.  Louis goes to bed early with cup of cocoa but Fuckawolf was seen in Bangla at 5.00 a.m. with two young ladies.   All those who had not registered were called in and shamed into coughing up money – you don’t mess with BB!  Visitors in, new members Pym and Glenn and then Golden Bollox iced – he is from Brighton (UK) the biggest Gay City in the UK, he brought two friends (faggot helpers).  Rainman in and iced which didn’t help him blow out the hundreds of candles on three birthday cakes.  Barbara Woodhouse playing dangerously by drinking GM’s beer!  BC then in with steward spot – sexist, racist, politically incorrect but we wouldn’t expect anything less from BC.  Born Loser always calls out his wife’s name when having sex just to make sure she’s not around.  Froggy’s phone rang, GM answered it and told them to call back in 20 hours time as Froggy was having too much fun.  French guys swapped partners – guy says to his mate – “wonder how the girls are getting on”.  Parasol Pussy had sex with her teacher but she was home schooled.

 Joke with Assfinder but can’t repeat or I will be locked up in Bangkok Hilton, Jiggly and something about online sex and then Swollen in for something but couldn’t hear as Dambuster was trying to force feed me sandwiches and birthday cake!  Thai girl in for renaming – Robot – Really Obnoxious Bloody Oriental Tart.  Jiggly Jugs in and iced for not doing steward spot and had to endure BC sitting astride her.  She said to BC “Can we get off now?” to which he replied, “I am.”  BC can tell so many jokes in a few minutes that even he forgot the end of one of them.  Next steward up was Scud.  Irish contingent called in to remember Blarney Rubble.  They were accused of copying Bollox’s colourful odd socks.  Assfinder and baby carrier in.  Last week in Kamala going under low hanging branches, baby got smacked in the head, then tall grass, baby gets face slapped to pieces but Assfinder ok.  So, here’s to the caring parent – he’s true blue …. Swollen and Pym in as Scud had decided to walk with Pym rather than Swollen on the basis they both had Tits so what’s the difference?  Hashers not wearing hash shirts in and told to hand over some cash and buy a shirt.  Won’t Go Down in wearing one of Rosie’s flat caps.  Hares in for having a laager site on a bend in the road, villagers too frightened to drive through the circle to their houses.  Thai Connection in for naming ceremony but Dambuster too busy handing out food. 

Indiana Bones and Assfinder plus baby in.  They specifically didn’t want names for their baby from BC or Blue Harlot but there were still a few unmentionable names shouted out.  I am not sure if “Lost Baby” or “Tit Sucker” won the day so watch this space.  Swollen in with Russian Around and Dropabolockov.  They always leave the circle before it starts but today, their car is blocked in on the other side of the circle so had to endure the entire circle.  Dropabolockov was taking photos from roof of Expat hotel in Patong but fell through roof and landed in bedroom with couple having sex.  “Where the hell did you come from” says the man.  “Vladivostock” came the reply.  GM in as her husband said he liked the trick she did with her mouth.  “You close it and shut the fcuk up!”  Swollen told joke about GM catching part of her anatomy on a fence which made it very large – use your imagination.  Wilma and Blue Harlot in.  Wilma’s son goes to school wearing a very explicit hash shirt for dress down Friday.  We all had a drink to absent friends.  Glenn and Pym in for naming ceremony.  Again many unprintable names were suggested but we ended up with Pym = Pole Position and Glenn = Dicksappointing.  Aussies in.  Son calls up father and says he has run over a pig.  Father told him to shoot it and then bury it and then come home.  Son says, I shot the pig and buried it but what should I do with his bike and speed camera?  Thanks were given to Woodpecker, Rainman and Rainbow for the food – still no sign of the t-shirts!  RunMasters in and a good rendition of The Hairs on Her Dickididum was sung in memory of Rosie.  Eventually Good Run was called and a not so orderly queue was formed for the food.