Scribe Report: No. 1309; 9 April 2011;
Hares: Thai Connection
Total Pack: 126; Virgins: 2; Visitors: 4; Visiting hashers: 4; New
members: 2
Some hashers on site early to help with clean
up. Started around 1410hrs [Hawaiian Ho and Froggy late] after
the Black bags had been given out and T.Tom you don't look any better
in it, anyway about 40 hashers start to collect paper ,,,,,,,, But
there are at least 60 on the Flash Pic. Bollocks and B,Woodhouse have
Biggest Bag!!! So run starts Down hill then round a couple of
corners past 626’s pad [Born loser]. I thought he’d be there in
his chair offering Gin & Tonics.
Dream ON ON. Turn right into Jungle, big
falsey [well I got lost] then up hill and up hill and then another
funking hill [at this moment in time the Funking French were Not
talking]. We get up to where the Monks live to enjoy the peace and
tranquility of the surrounds. Another falsey here for some
reason. Parasol Pussy was adjacent with her DOG and I didn't want
to get wiped out AGAIN. Then downhill but 1 more hill which
Run Master JC [setting a good example] shortcuts to main road leading
to Laager site. Collect nice shirt with pocket, Blue for guys,
Pink for gals. Wash down, Raffle starts G. M. in nice Little Pink Baby
Doll No. She starts to give away sweets to old Falangs and cuddly Toys
to young Thai Girls ...... and we thought ONLY Blue Harlot was a
pervert !! Pygmy wins main Prize, a small fan and we resisted
telling him where to put it. Main Circle starts with Lucky Lec 1st in
but due to the Funking French (led by Ratatouille, Asterix and Froggy)
talking most of the time even after being asked to shut the Funk up ...
and then Houston Basher and his mates [he has Mates ?] talking over the
F. French I missed most of what was going on … If they don't want to
listen why the Funk don' t they ALL Funk off 2 Afghanistan or Libya and
have a circle there, then NATO can bomb them. That should shut them
up. It didn’t help that Gorgeous kept topping me up with some
concoction called 'You won’t have headache in the morning’. [nor
sight]. Flying Dickhead in with “Why don't we reproduce some prints
from old shirts that some off us Hashers may have in their cleaning
cupboard. Good idea we think. Dambuster does strip on ice, not
pretty I may add. Then 9 Thai virgins [there are that many
in Thighland ?] anoint him with baby oil for some reason .... cant hear
why ...... Yes they are still talking! Woodpecker in saying
Houston Basher fancies her - that must be wrong! I blame the
Concoction. ... Funking French still talking ...then she
says that Gorgeous and My good self [B. W.] tried to get her MAN King
Klong lost on a Tin Man once upon a time - like we said 2 her the day
B4, 10,000 THB ''YES''. 500 THB only pretend [like Sex with Bar
girl who says to Chicken George U handsome Man.]
Blue Harlot in circle. Does very good turn - well what I could
hear. G.M. iced him for doing good turn. Elvis turns up on
Sheargar and gives Mrs Pigmy a bottle opener in the Shape of his
pencil .. as a leaving present. I wonder which ''END'' gets
used Most ??? answer on a postcard to Winnie the Witch Expat sports
bar. Then the Village people turn up to back Elvis doing a
Johnny Cash assassination of Ring of Fire - good turn, but then
Elvis defrocks himself – it’s Bollocks! 'Creature' in [in pink ] wants
to play a game. The Funking French STOP talking for the 1st time and
there’s a big rush in to circle. Ejackulator is looking bemused [as
normal I think], Secret agent Dick Gobbler is trying to dig tunnel into
middle of circle - maybe this Rat thing IS getting to him. Anyway it
was a false alarm, [bit like Murkury asking me if I wanted a beer]. She
really wanted to play a game that involved putting a pipe between your
legs. Bootilicious in. She does a lot of talking and got those
French wankers in to sit on cool ice and drink beer. Big Bollocks
in to tell us he went all the way to Bali to have good sex with his
wife or did he leave her behind and take someone else's wife? Bollocks
in with wife explains that they still turn light out before getting
undressed and going to bed and then they can think the other one is
their fantasy. Blue Harlot in with Teacher's Pet saying
that he's going to divorce her [don’t you have to be married?] as she
can’t make papaya salad as her tiny hand is knackered after seeing to
his needs when “he comes'' home from school and his class has been 16
yr old Virgins [allegedly]. T tom in with Murkury to do
some songs - sorry but by now my hearing has gone and I can’t see
a thing, but wait .. in the distance I think I can see Twice Nightly
sat on / in someones knees caressing them. Not sure what it is!
Blind Mullet in and all the men have a drink for ''Rosie'' in regards
to his forthcoming operation . ON ON Rosie … But
NOT “Airborne” this time Friend.
Good Run Called
Circle closed foods out
............. Yes they stop talking
ON
ON
Barbara Woodhouse
RING OF FIRE
BY BOLLOX
CHILLIES ARE A WONDROUS THING
COMING OUT, MAKE A FIERY RING
I ATE A VINDALOO ENTIRE
IT’S FALLING OUT MY RING OF FIRE
CHORUS:
IT FELL OUT OF MY BURNING RING OF FIRE
I FLUSH IT DOWN-DOWN-DOWN
BUT THE ODOUR GETS HIGHER
AND IT BURNS, BURNS, BURNS
MY RINGS ON FIRE
MY RINGS ON FIRE
CURRY FLOATS, WON’T FLUSH AWAY
WATER DON’T TAKE THE FIRE AWAY
I DON’T KNOW WHICH WAY TO TURN
AND OH, MY RING DOES BURN
CHORUS
I LOVE THE TAST OF CURRY SWEETS
IT’S THE HEART OF GOOD FOOD TO EAT
YOU SHOULD NEVER FEED IT TO YOUR CHILD
OH, THE FIRE DRIVES ‘EM WILD
IT’S FALLING OUT MY RING OF FIRE
MY RING OF FIRE
MY RING OF FIRE
MY RING OF FIRE